Evaporating
by nightowl880
Summary: She was disappearing a little more each day, so thin, so frail, a wisp of smoke. One day she would surely vanish altogether, and there was no way to stop her. - Alice Hoffman (Rated T just in case.)
1. The Beginning

**Wow, it's been forever since I posted anything. As always, starting a new story is scary. Let me know how it came out (I love getting reviews).**

 **I'm going to try to update weekly this time. I have the first section of this written, so it should go pretty smoothly at first. My update day might end up not being on Mondays, though. I'll let you know next chapter.**

 **Okay, so this is an idea that I absolutely adore, just because it's so genius (can you tell I'm full of myself?). But seriously, I think it's a really cool plot idea. I hope you like it.**

Juvia awoke to a strange stinging sensation in her left hand. She blinked against bright sunlight and lifted thin, lithe fingers into her line of view. What she saw made her eyes widen and her breath catch in a panicked gasp.

* * *

"Juvia's late today," Gray commented, glancing from his companions to the guild doors and back. Lucy shrugged.

"I didn't notice. Maybe she got here early and took a job."

Happy put a paw to his mouth with a grin. "He _liiiiiikes_ her." Natsu, walking by, backpedaled and leaned over the table.

"Gray likes who?"

"Nobody!" the ice mage snapped testily. He challenged Happy with his eyes, daring the Exceed to contradict him. Happy backed down, shivering with fear. On a good day, Gray's death stare rivaled Erza's.

"He was just wondering where Juvia was," Lucy said as she scooted over to make room for Natsu on her bench. "We haven't seen her yet." Natsu shrugged, dismissing Gray's concern just as Lucy had.

"Maybe she slept in."

Gray sighed irritably. "I really don't care. I was just making an observation." Lucy smiled knowingly, making him scowl. "Forget it," he grumbled. Just then, the guild doors swung open and Juvia flounced in, wearing her signature blue and smiling widely.

"Gray-sama!" she said, nearing their table. "Good morning!" Gray nodded and turned away. He didn't really know why he had been worried about her, anyway. She was only human, after all – she couldn't possibly come in at the same time every day. Everyone slept in sometimes.

Juvia felt her cheery smile slipping and tugged it back up sharply. "Juvia has something to do," she said vaguely, keeping her gaze fixed firmly on the whorls of wood grain painting the tabletop. "She will see you all later." She moved past the table towards the bar, where Mirajane, Lisanna and Wendy were having a heated argument about whether it was better to have a pet cat or dog.

"What's her hurry?" Natsu wondered aloud, watching her go.

"I'm surprised she didn't stay to talk to Gray," Lucy added.

"Aye," Happy agreed, pulling a fresh fish out of his sack.

"Who cares?" Gray said, getting up from the table. "I'm gonna go check out some requests. Anyone want to do a job?" Natsu leapt to his feet.

"Let's do it! I wanna do one in a volcano!"

Lucy rolled her eyes as the two raced to the request board. "Honestly, you'd think they're five."

* * *

Juvia smiled at Mirajane as she broke into the three-way debate. "Good morning!" she chirped. Mira beamed back at her.

"Good morning, Juvia. Tell me, would you rather have a pet dog or cat?" Juvia cocked her head in confusion.

"Juvia supposes... A dog?"

"Aha!" the white-haired mage shrieked. "See that? Dogs are clearly better!"

Wendy and Lisanna booed. "Cats!"

"Um... Juvia is sorry to interrupt, but has anyone seen Master Makarov? Juvia has something to speak with him about." The argument halted briefly as the three considered this question. Mira pointed upstairs.

"I'm pretty sure he's in his office... He said something about paperwork for a town Natsu destroyed last week." An impish smile crossed her face. "Don't tell him, but I was actually the one who destroyed that one."

Juvia smiled at her and headed upstairs to the second floor, where the master's office was located. She knocked once on the door and when there was no answer, opened the door cautiously. She had to duck as a paperweight sailed past her head and smashed against the wall behind her. "Juvia is sorry!" she squeaked. Makarov glanced up at her, eyes squinted.

"Eh? Ah, Juvia. Sorry about that, didn't see you there. Something the matter?" Juvia entered the office shakily and shut the door behind her.

"Juvia must speak to you about something," she said hesitantly.

The lines in Makarov's skin deepened as he frowned. "Sit down first." He didn't like the quiet resignation in Juvia's expression.

She sat in one of the chairs set in front of Makarov's desk, and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. "Juvia…will be gone soon."

"You're leaving the guild?" Makarov asked, leaning forward. She shook her head quickly.

"No! Juvia will not leave. But…" She stared at her fingers, laced together. Her knuckles were white. "Juvia is not sure how to explain." The old man's face was tense with worry, but he sat back calmly in his chair.

"Take your time."

Outside, the sun was shining. Birds chirped and flew through the blue sky. Clouds drifted lazily on a soft breeze. The sounds of spring brought the world to life. But in Makarov's office, the silence was deafening.

"Juvia always knew… That this time would come," she began haltingly. "Eventually. But she thought she would have more time than this." Her words grew strained as she fought tears. "Juvia wanted to stay here a little longer…" The young woman took a deep breath. "You see, Juvia's body is made of water. And water will not always stay liquid. Gradually, it begins to vaporize. At some point, it will vanish." The broken smile on Juvia's face nearly killed Makarov. "Juvia will disappear, like that."

"Isn't there anything–" Juvia shook her head again.

"Juvia is not the first one to fade away. No one has ever found a cure." She unlaced her fingers and and laid a pale hand over Makarov's. "It will be okay," she said softly. "Juvia has no regrets."

"But–"

She stood and turned away, walking to the door. "Juvia is ready. She will face this proudly, as a member of Fairy Tail. But…" She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob. "Please don't tell anyone about this. Juvia wishes…for everyone to smile."

"If this is what you wish for," the master said in a low voice, "Then I can't stop you. I won't speak of this with anyone in the guild."

"Thank you," Juvia whispered, as she slipped out of the room and into the hallway.

When she was gone, Makarov sighed and gazed at his aged hands. They were small and wrinkled, and dotted with scars. They made a map, of the life he had led for so long. Scars of old battles, scars of old mistakes. He could recall the cause of each one with surprising clarity.

But his hands could not carry the scars left behind by the loss of his loved ones. There was no place for them on the old relics that had served him so well. And no matter how he tried, eventually, he would begin to forget. He could no longer remember the faces of some of his old guild mates, or the way their laughter had sounded. Someday, he would not even remember their names, and then he would begin to forget other things. His first day as guild master. The day he received his Fairy Tail insignia. The times he had protected, and been protected by, his guild. Someday, he too would be gone.

Makarov sighed again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was getting old. He got up slowly from his chair and left the office, leaving the paperwork a forgotten mess on his desk.

* * *

"Hey, how about this one?" Lucy said, pointing to a flyer in the center of the board. She glanced up to see Juvia coming down the stairs and waved. "Juvia! Where'd you go?" It took the water mage a moment to focus on her.

"Eh? Ah, Juvia had something to tell the master." She noticed Gray standing next to Lucy, studying the request board. "Gray-sama!" she shrieked, skipping toward them. She flung herself onto his back and snuggled close. "Did you miss Juvia?"

"Not at all," he grunted. "And you're strangling me." He managed to pull her off and turned to face her, panting slightly. "What's with you today? You basically ignore me, and then suddenly you're all over me again. Make up your mind already."

"Okay!" Juvia chirped, attaching herself to Gray in a manner similar to a leech latching onto its prey. "Juvia will stay very close to Gray-sama!"

"Not what I meant," he puffed. "Little help?" Lucy shook her head, holding back laughter.

"There's no way I'm getting in the middle of this. I'm gonna go get a drink." She walked away, abandoning Gray next to the request board. Natsu, meanwhile, had wandered off and gotten involved in the still-ongoing dogs-versus-cats debate. The vote was three against one for cats.

"Juvia, let go of me," Gray ordered futilely. She shook her head and, if anything, held on tighter. Her face was buried deep in Gray's chest. "Come on, Juvia. Just get off me already," he said, gentler this time. The lonely set of her shoulders sent shivers of anxiety down his spine.

"Juvia won't let go," she mumbled stubbornly. "Juvia won't let go, because–" She caught herself with a gasp and bit her lip. "Juvia won't let go," she repeated softly. "She won't let go of Gray-sama."

Gray stared down at the top of her head. It struck him that it was immensely vulnerable, that small head. "Juvia, just let go of me. Please." The blue head shook, back and forth. Her slender arms tightened around him, keeping his arms pinned to his sides.

Gray sighed and reached behind him to pry her hands apart. At first she resisted, but gradually, her grip slackened, and her arms swung down to touch her sides. She stepped away from him, head bowed. Her hair hung in a silky blue curtain that hid her face.

He reached out, slowly, and patted her head. She flinched. Steeling himself, he stepped forward and tucked her into him, one arm around her waist, the other resting on the back of her head. He tipped his chin down so it covered her head and touched his fingers. He listened to her breathing as it sped up. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, noticing as her fingers curled in his shirt. "This isn't like you."

Her voice came slowly but surely, muffled by his shirt. "Juvia is fine. There is nothing wrong."

"You can tell me, you know." He listened for her response.

Nothing.

"Juvia can't," a tiny whisper informed him, so soft he nearly mistook it for an errant breeze. "Juvia couldn't possibly tell Gray-sama." Frustration welled up inside of him. She would cling to him every day, shamelessly declare her love for him in public, act like an idiot and embarrass them both for no good reason, but she wouldn't trust him with her problems?

"What–"

Juvia pulled away from him and smiled brightly. "Juvia can't tell Gray-sama what's wrong, because there is nothing wrong with Juvia!" She flexed her bicep for him to see. "Juvia is perfectly fine!" A sly grin took over, and she leaned forward to hug Gray again. "Was Gray-sama worried about Juvia?"

"As if," he snorted. "I was just indulging you for a little while. Now get off!"

"Gray-sama, you're so shy," Juvia cooed, letting him shake her off and stalk away grumpily.

If anyone had been watching Juvia at that precise moment, they might have seen the way her smile faded and her eyes closed. If they had sharp eyes, perhaps they would have seen her lips moving silently. And if they had been very, very good at reading lips, they may have understood the wordless prayer she released into the world. However, they would not have known that this prayer was not meant to come true, and they would not have seen the way it drifted aimlessly, unable to find its way to some benevolent god.

But none of that matters, because no one was watching. And no one saw Juvia's defeated prayer for life.

As she turned away, it evaporated.

 **I have to say, I am immensely satisfied with that ending. Is that just me? Thanks for reading. Review, follow, favorite!**


	2. The First Step

**Okay, so it seems that a number of people were confused as to the status of this fic. To clear it up: Evaporating is going to have many chapters, and is in no way a oneshot.**

 **Right, to the next item on the agenda. Here's the deal. I have serious doubt in my ability to consistently update on a specific day, so I think what I'll do is say that my technical update day will be Sunday. However, if I can't manage to drag my lazy ass to the computer in time to update then, I'll update twice the next week to even it out. Haha my magical planning skills. I have a terrible feeling I will crash and burn and make people hate me.**

 **Well.** **Before I start babbling about nonsense, I'm going to end this Author's Note. Enjoy chapter two of Evaporating!**

 _I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing, always forever fading away and receding farther and father into the background._

Makarov entered the enormous, hollowed-out tree without knocking. "Porlyusica? Are you here?"

"What do you want?" the irritable old woman grumbled from a corner. She stood over a table, sorting through bundles of herbs. "I'm busy."

"I need your help," Makarov said, settling down on a stump. His old friend snorted.

"Of course you do. Why else would you be here?" He ignored the jab.

"Do you remember Juvia Loxar?" he asked her.

"Blue hair, water mage, always talks in the third person, madly in love with Gray Fullbuster," Porlyusica rattled off, not looking up from her task. "And I suppose you're asking me because she's dying of fatal injuries from some mission to save the world from destruction and you want me to heal her."

"She is dying," Makarov said shortly. "But if it were just wounds, I would have Wendy handle it." He ran a hand over his balding scalp. "Are you aware that Juvia is actually made of water? Her whole body." Porlyusica's ears perked up despite her. She couldn't help it – she found such unique medical conditions utterly fascinating. "And now she's evaporating."

Slowly, so as not to let Makarov see her interest, she allowed her hands to stop moving. Her back was still to him. "And you want me to find a cure."

"Yes. She claims there's no way, but I can't sit by and do nothing while one of my children dies." He stood, and bowed low, bending as far as his old body would allow. "Please, Porlyusica." The old woman turned deliberately to face him. She wouldn't have asked him to do such a thing – she had already decided she would help.

"I suppose, if you're willing to go this far," she said carelessly, sweeping past Makarov. "I'll see what I can do. Bring the girl here in three days."

* * *

Juvia walked down the path that led to Fairy Hills, shading her eyes with a hand. She did her best to ignore the sharp sting along her knuckles, but it was no use. Whether she noticed it or not, she knew she was dying.

No, not dying. She didn't like saying it like that. It tasted wrong on her tongue. She didn't feel like she was dying. It was more the feeling of disappearing, as though she were dissipating smoke. It wasn't a physical sensation, but rather, simply the knowledge that as she walked, little pieces of her were breaking away from her skin and dissolving into the air. She supposed, in fact, that people were inhaling those little pieces of her.

Juvia wondered if Gray had breathed any of her in when they were hugging earlier. The thought of bits of her body being inside of him made her shiver with happiness.

She arrived at the large dormitory building and sighed at the relief the shade brought to her hand. The stinging had become a faint burning, and it was traveling down the back of her hand into her wrist. As she paused to let her skin cool, she looked up into the sky. The cool blue reminded her of home.

Juvia blinked. "Juvia had forgotten," she muttered to herself, turning away and entering the women's dormitory. "She still has to tell them."

In her room, the blue-haired girl sat on her bed with a piece of paper and a pen. "But what should Juvia say? She can't tell them through a letter so easily!" She flopped back on the bed, dropping the pen and paper. "No, no, no. Juvia can't go. Gray-sama is here. Juvia doesn't want to disappear far away from Gray-sama." She closed her eyes, thinking.

Abruptly, she sat up. Leaning over to pick up her would-be letter, she uncapped the pen and began to write. When she was finished, she ran outside and deposited the letter in the mailbox. Then she slipped back inside.

* * *

~THREE DAYS LATER~

Gray was not watching the doors. He wasn't even looking at anything near them. In fact, he was facing the opposite direction. But that didn't stop him from listening for the sounds of Juvia entering the guild. "Ridiculous," he muttered to no one in particular. There had to be something wrong with him. Juvia could take care of herself. She didn't need him to worry about her. Besides, doing that would just encourage her further, which was something he didn't need. To top it all off, it wasn't any of his business what was going on with her. Maybe she was just tired.

"Has anyone seen Juvia today?" the master called from the second floor balcony. "I have something I need her to do."

There was a general chorus of no's and Makarov sighed. Porlyusica was bound to get angry if he took much longer.

"Master, is there something wrong with Juvia?" Lucy called from the bar. "She wasn't acting like herself a few days ago, and she hasn't been to the guild since." Maybe it was his imagination, but Gray could have sworn the lines in Makarov's face deepened, as they did when something when was weighing on him.

"No, she's perfectly fine. I just have a special errand for her to run," he said, coming down the stairs and taking up his usual position on the bar. Gray got up from his table with a sigh and ambled over to the request board. He hadn't ended up taking a job the day before, and he was starting to run low on cash.

Ten minutes later, he was still looking for something interesting. "What's with these jobs?" he muttered disgustedly. "Babysitting, finding a lost puppy, delivering a package? Where are all the good jobs?"

Mira noticed his plight and came over to help him. "Ah, you see, a lot of people took jobs yesterday, so for now all that's left is the boring ones. But if you're short on money, you might as well take a few of these. It's better than nothing, and the pay isn't terrible." She smiled at him. "And anyway, someone should do them, or they'll sit there for the rest of time."

Gray scowled and tore off three at random. "I'll do these," he grunted, stomping away.

"Thanks, Gray!" Mira called sweetly after him.

Still fuming, he nearly trampled Juvia as he left the guild. She blinked in surprise. "Gray-sama!" Gray glanced at her, debating the necessity of apologizing. "Good morning," Juvia said, beaming at him. He squinted at her. Something was different about her.

"Your cheeks are kinda red," he observed. Juvia put a hand to her normally pale skin, looking at her feet.

"Ah… Juvia's skin is sensitive to the sun," she said quietly. Before Gray could reply, the master noticed her.

"Juvia! Come here, there's something I need you to do!" he shouted. Juvia glanced up at him, then looked at Gray from the corner of her eye. He was staring straight ahead, clearly bored.

"Ah, yes, Juvia is coming!" she called out, hurrying into the guild. Makarov hopped off the bar when she reached him.

"Right then, let's go." Juvia frowned in confusion.

"What are we doing?"

Makarov led her back out of the guild. Gray was nowhere to be seen. "We're paying Porlyusica a visit," he said in a hushed voice. "She's agreed to help you with your…condition."

"But–"

"Just be quiet and come with me," he commanded sharply. "You didn't really think you could tell me about this and then expect me to sit back and do nothing, did you?" His tone softened. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"Juvia is grateful that you wish to help her," the young woman said, after a long pause. They entered the forest where Porlyusica made her home, and Juvia closed her eyes to listen for the sounds of water. A faint trickling sound from the west caught her ear, and she smiled involuntarily. "But Juvia is ready to go. She has lived for a long time already."

Fairy Tail's master snorted. "Say that when you're my age."

The sounds of the forest filled the silence as they walked. The leaves rustled softly in the breeze, letting in shafts of sunlight to pierce the forest floor. Ancient roots snaked across the ground, coated in spongy green moss. Birds called out to each other in short trills and flew overhead, flashing bright colors.

"We're here," Makarov announced suddenly, stopping in the midst of a collection of particularly old trees. He approached one and walked up the few steps leading to an ornately carved door. His fist knocked against it in three short, hard raps, before he pushed it open. "Porlyusica, I brought her."

"Good," said a female voice. An old woman emerged from inside the tree. Juvia was fairly sure she'd seen her before, when she was caring for some of the others. She was an old friend of the master's, a healer, named Porlyusica. "Don't just stand there, girl, come in," she snapped at Juvia.

"Juvia is sorry," she murmured, coming forward nervously. Come to think of it, she'd heard that Porlyusica didn't like people.

"Just sit there," Porlyusica ordered her as she stepped into the tree, pointing to a stump that seemed to serve as a seat. Juvia sat obediently, looking around the room. It was sparsely furnished, with a few stump-seats, a long table in one corner, and a thick carpet on the floor. Small windows were cut into the trunk here and there. Porlyusica was rummaging through the herbs strewn across the table, her back to Juvia. Finally, she turned around and stared at the younger woman. Juvia fidgeted uncomfortably. Porlyusica had piercing crimson eyes that seemed as though they could see straight through to your soul. "So, Makarov tells me you're evaporating."

"Yes, Juvia is."

Porlyusica grunted. "Well, no need to look so gloomy. I'm going to do everything I can to help you." Juvia stiffened instinctively at the word 'gloomy'. "So, do you know anything about this condition?"

"Juvia has heard that this has happened to other people like Juvia, who are made of water. But no one has ever found a cure." Porlyusica frowned.

"Does exposing yourself to water do anything?"

Juvia shook her head. "Not as far as Juvia is aware. It may slow the process down temporarily, but after Juvia loses contact with the water, she is back where she started." Porlyusica's frown deepened.

"Why now?" she wondered, mostly to herself.

"What?" Juvia asked, surprised.

"I don't understand why it would suddenly begin now. Why not when you were born? Water is always evaporating, even underground."

"Ah," Juvia breathed. She hadn't expected anyone to notice. Not so quickly, anyway. "Juvia can explain."

 **Cliffhangers are my guilty pleasure. Anyway, I just realized I didn't do the disclaimer last chapter. Oops. I don't own Fairy Tail, guys. Although wouldn't it be great if I was Mashima in disguise, planting my plans for Gruvia on FanFiction? I wonder... ;)**

 **So, remember to review,** **favorite, follow, and all that jazz! I love getting your reviews, and the stuff you guys say in them is pure ego-steroids. Like, seriously. (I really shouldn't be typing 'like' into my sentences, but screw it.) I adore you guys.**

 **Theories, anyone? What do you think the cure is (there is going to be one!)? If your idea is really good, I might even change my plan and use that instead. Leave a review and let me know. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Tears and Visitors

**Heya, me again. Time for updates! I'm going shopping today, so I'm in an abnormally cheerful mood. Bear with me.**

 **I was told that I should do longer updates. So I am. At least, I think this is longer than the last two – I'll have to check the word count.**

 **But anyway. Enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

 _Lie, not for saving the truth, but for saving a true person. -Vishnu Rajan_

* * *

Gray sighed and collapsed into a seat. How could he be this tired after a few minor jobs? He should have still had plenty of energy, but instead he was wiped. "Hey, Gray," Lucy said, sitting across from him. Erza slid onto the bench next to her with a plate of cake.

"Did you go on any jobs today?" she asked, stabbing a forkful.

"Unfortunately," he groaned. "What about you two?"

"We went to exorcise a ghost in Acalypha," Lucy said. "But it turned out to be just a couple of kids trying to scare their friends. What a waste of time." She stretched and leaned her elbows on the table. "So, did Juvia come to the guild today? She was acting weird yesterday, right?"

Gray shrugged indifferently. "She was here in the morning, but then the master dragged her off somewhere. He said something about an errand."

"Hmm," Lucy said thoughtfully. "Something's weird. I'm worried about her."

"What for?" Gray asked, closing his eyes. "I'm sure she's fine. If it were anything to worry about, she'd tell us."

"Really? You think so?" Lucy asked. Gray cracked an eye to see her giving him a meaningful look. He glanced at Erza for backup, but she was staring intently at her empty plate.

"Lucy's right. Something's off about this."

Gray threw up his hands. "Not you too." He looked between them. "Guys. Come on. We're a family. If there was something wrong, Juvia would tell us what's going on. And since she hasn't said anything, it means nothing's wrong. You two are just bored."

Lucy frowned. "I don't think so."

"Gray, think about this for a minute," Erza said, leaning forward. "Do you really believe that Juvia would come straight out and tell everyone something was wrong with her if she thought all it would do is make us worried and upset." No, he didn't. That didn't sound a bit like Juvia, and they both knew it. Erza saw the change in his expression and pressed on. "And hasn't she been acting strange these past few days? There's got to be something going on."

Gray growled in frustration. "And what if you two are right? What if there is something wrong with her? Are you planning to force her to tell you? Because, for your information, I already tried asking her, and she completely shut me out. So good luck getting her to talk to you when she won't even tell me what the problem is."

Lucy and Erza leaned forward simultaneously, matching sly smiles wreathing their faces. "Oh," Erza murmured, drawing the word out. "I see now."

Gray blinked, bewildered. "See what?"

"You're sulking because she wouldn't tell you what was wrong," Lucy crowed triumphantly. "You're actually really worried, aren't you?"

"Wha– That's ridiculous," Gray scoffed. "She's probably just upset because something stupid, like…" He trailed off, unsure of what she would get upset about. "I don't know, but it must have been something silly. Maybe her cat died. Anyway, there's nothing to worry about. Just give it a few days and she'll be fine."

He got up, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and slouched away from the table. Lucy and Erza watched him go quietly. "If he's so sure about it, I guess we should just let him be for now," Lucy mused. Erza nodded her agreement, and the two turned to a different topic of conversation.

Gray, meanwhile, had resettled at the bar and was glowering at the counter. "What's the matter, Gray?" Mira asked, looking down at him in mild concern.

"Nothing," he muttered. "I think I'll go home and take a nap." Just as he got up, he bumped into someone approaching the bar. "Ah, sorry–" Gray broke off mid sentence, surprised. He didn't recognize the guy standing in front of him, which was fairly unusual, but there was something familiar about his face.

"My bad," he said good-naturedly, flashing white teeth in a brief smile. He stuck out his hand. "I'm Jace. Nice to meet you." Gray shook his hand, trying to subtly give him a once-over. He had short blue hair that was so light it was almost white. His eyes were dark and friendly, a heavy contrast to his pale skin, and he wore jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"I'm Gray," he said. "Sorry about that." He paused. "I haven't seen you around before." Jace smiled again, making Gray stare. His teeth really were white, and straight. Gray wondered how you got teeth that perfect.

"Yeah, I'm just looking for someone. Maybe you know–"

"Hey, Ice Princess! Let's have a fight!" Natsu roared across the guild, interrupting Jace. Gray gritted his teeth.

"Sorry, I have to go bash that idiot's skull in," he growled, already walking away. As he went he shed his shirt. "You damn Flame Brain! I'm going to crush you!"

Mira watched from behind the bar, amused. "Sorry about them," she said to Jace. "They're a bit hot-headed. Can I help you?"

* * *

Porlyusica watched Juvia gravely, not missing the way her hands were twisted together nervously in her lap or the sad distance in her dark eyes. "Actually, it's Juvia's fault," she explained, with a short, self-deprecating laugh. "Juvia is disappearing because the rain stopped."

"What rain?"

"The rain produced by Juvia's magic. That's why Juvia is known as the Rain Woman." A faint sort of nostalgia crept stealthily into her voice. "Before Juvia joined Fairy Tail, she was very, very alone. Except for the rain. It always rained around Juvia. Did you know, before Juvia met Gray-sama, she didn't know what sunlight looked like? Because all she had ever seen were cloudy skies and rain, always the rain. Her magic produced some sort of side effect, and so she was kept safe by the magic rain."

"So you have to be constantly rained on by this 'side effect'?" Porlyusica asked, leaning forward. Juvia shook her head.

"Juvia probably would have gotten sick and died if that were true. Occasionally stepping out into the rain is enough to replenish Juvia's body." A pregnant silence filled the hollow tree. Porlyusica closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead tiredly.

"So?" she said finally. "What's the problem?"

"You see… Juvia is too happy to make the rain fall." Juvia bit her lip, begging her tears to stay put. Why cry over something that had brought her so much joy?

Intense red eyes opened and stared into deep blue ones. "I was afraid it was something like that," the old woman sighed. "You won't make it rain, not even to save your life? There's no Fairy Tail in the afterlife, you know."

"It's not a matter of will or will not. Juvia has tried, once, to bring the rain," the girl mumbled, dropping her gaze to her feet. "Around the time of the Grand Magic Games, she thought it might be helpful to be able to call the rain at will, so she tried. And it wouldn't come. She spent hours, sitting on the grass behind Fairy Hills, attempting to make it rain." A bitter smile snaked across her lips. "In the end, Juvia couldn't summon even a wisp of a cloud."

Porlyusica stared again at the girl sitting across from her. She was born with water magic that guaranteed you either a long life of misery or a short one of joy. "What a curse the gods have bestowed upon you," she whispered, too softly for Juvia to hear. Silence fell between them once again.

"Well," she said, louder, "I'll–"

"Porlyusica-san…" Juvia interrupted, "Juvia is deeply grateful that you have offered to help Juvia, but…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly, her eyes opened and she spoke. "Juvia doesn't want to worry about this. You see, the time Juvia has spent with Fairy Tail – with Gray-sama – is the greatest happiness Juvia has ever felt in her whole life. She wouldn't trade it for a thousand years of life if it meant living it alone." As the words spilled out of her mouth, her eyes lifted to meet Porlyusica's steadily. "Juvia doesn't think she is cursed. In fact, she believes she was blessed. Juvia has gotten so much time with the people she loves more than anything else in the world. To Juvia, that is what matters the most."

Porlyusica's stern, uptight expression softened into one that could almost be described as compassionate. "You say that, but why are you crying?"

"What?" Juvia lifted her fingertips to her cheeks. They came away wet. "Juvia is… Why?" Her vision began to blur, and she let out a weak chuckle. "That's strange… Juvia never meant to cry… How is it that she is? Juvia really…really…meant what she said."

"Sometimes, your body will tell you things your mind cannot," Porlyusica mused, almost talking to herself. "Even if you really think that this is okay the way it is, that you're ready to let go, part of you isn't." The woman in front of her faded to patches of color. Juvia wiped her eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop. She sniffled and buried her face in her hands.

 _Humans_ , Porlyusica thought to herself. _Always so emotional. It's disgusting._

Hesitantly, she reached out and gave Juvia's back a sharp pat. "What…" Juvia looked up to see Porlyusica pointedly turn her gaze away, looking almost guilty. This simple gesture only made Juvia cry harder. Huge tears slid down her cheeks and pooled at her chin, dripping from there to the floor. A puddle formed between her feet. "Juvia really wanted…to stay with Gray-sama a little longer," she sobbed. "One week…one day…even one minute more than this!"

"Don't give up just yet, girl," Porlyusica commanded, standing so abruptly her stump tipped over. "I won't let you vanish so easily!" She turned her back on the bawling Juvia and paused. Her lips pressed together into a thin, nearly invisible line. Her shoulders pulled back and taught, and she swept to her table. "I'm going to save you, so stop crying," she snapped, sorting through the herbs she had already picked to pieces in hopes of an answer. She brushed them all to the floor in one quick motion and pulled a stack of thick books toward her. "Honestly, humans are such pathetic creatures."

* * *

By the time Gray and Natsu's fight had ended in their 3,874th tie, the sun was beginning to set and the guild was mostly empty. Jace had left too, Gray noticed as he looked around. He wondered absent-mindedly if he had managed to find the person he was looking for. Bored, Gray decided to go home.

Not looking where he was going, he ran right into Juvia on her way into the guild. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. Her chin jabbed his shoulder, and he winced. "Sorry," he said. "I wasn't paying attention." His brow furrowed as he looked down at Juvia's pale face. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Juvia mumbled dully. Her eyes seemed to focus and she blinked. "Gray-sama! Juvia is so sorry! She was distracted!" There was definitely something weird going on for her to not have noticed him right in front of her. And her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, as though she had been crying. Her cheeks were flushed, which was unusual too. Her skin was always so white, any color was odd. But recently, her skin had been red a lot.

"Juvia, are you sure everything's okay? If there's something wrong, I'll listen." If she had had any tears left to cry, Juvia would have broken into a fresh round of bawling. Her beloved Gray-sama was worried about her. He was even offering to listen to her problems.

"Ah, but, Juvia is just fine! There's nothing wrong."

"Then why do you look like you've been crying?" Gray asked tensely, grabbing her wrist as she tried to back away.

"Well, Juvia… Um, that is… Earlier, you see, Juvia ate a…a chili pepper."

"A chili pepper," Gray repeated flatly.

"Yes! It was so spicy, her eyes began to water and before she knew it, Juvia was crying," she ad-libbed. "But Juvia is fine now, so Gray-sama doesn't need to worry." She smiled brightly at him.

Gray wanted to punch a wall. She was such a terrible liar, it was almost painful to watch. A part of him was tempted to force her to tell him, but he got the feeling that wouldn't budge her on this. And besides, she'd probably twist it into something weird.

"Well, it's getting late, so you should go home," Gray muttered, brushing a hand over his face. "Want me to walk you?" Juvia nodded eagerly, grabbing his arm and dragging him out the door.

"Juvia would love that!"

The sun had nearly disappeared entirely by then, and the clouds above the horizon were stained red and orange. Juvia watched the ground ahead of her carefully, avoiding spots of fading sunlight. Gray was too preoccupied by counting the many injuries he had received from Natsu to notice. He was sure he had given the pink-haired dimwit more than he had gotten.

The path to Fairy Hills was short, and they arrived at the dorm much faster than Juvia would have liked. Standing at the entrance, Gray yawned as he waved Juvia off, wincing when it pulled on a sore spot. His job done, he turned and started on his way home, thinking about Juvia's face when he ran into her. Her eyes were so empty, like someone had dug around inside and pulled out the hope.

 **How was that? I was rereading and honestly, I really want to write the whole thing over from scratch. But who knows, maybe that's just me.**

 **Remember to review, favorite and follow!**


	4. Remember Me

**Hi there, me again. I never really know what to say in these, but I like having the little introduction. There are something like 20 days of school left, and I'm so psyched. Next year is high school, which is kinda scary (I'm not good with new places) and I'll probably get lost a lot. As in, daily. I'm hoping to finish this over the summer since I'll have a lot to do next year. We'll see – it's pretty early to be making predictions.**

 **So anyway, about the chapter. There's some secrets hidden in here, little stuff you have to look for. Review and leave your ideas as to what it is below! I'm a sucker for reviews.**

 **Without further ado, chapter four!**

* * *

 _They say abandonment is a wound that never heals. I say only that an abandoned child never forgets. - Mario Balotelli_

* * *

The next morning, Juvia's body was heavy. She didn't want to expend the energy necessary to drag herself out of bed. Her eyes were sore from the previous day's tears, too.

Gray's rare gentle smile flashed into her head, and she reluctantly rolled out of bed, landing on the floor with a thump.

In the shower, she stared at her skin. She had once been told she had pretty skin – it was smooth, and pale, almost pure white. But now it was sort of transparent, a thin film stretched too tightly over her muscles and bones. Her fingertips were beginning to fade and blur around the edges.

Juvia wondered how long it would take for her whole hand to disappear. Would she remember what it had looked like after it was gone?

* * *

Gray walked into the guild to see Juvia sitting at her favorite table, laughing and talking with Gajeel and Levy. She spotted him immediately and rushed over. "Good morning, Gray-sama! Thank you for walking Juvia home last night!" He nodded.

"Yeah, no problem." He joined the table of three, sliding onto the bench next to Gajeel. "What's up with you guys?"

Levy launched into an animated description of a strange text in an ancient language that she'd discovered on her latest job. Gajeel, surprisingly, listened intently, leaning forward on his elbows. "So what's it about?" he asked. "You translate it yet?" Levy shook her head.

"Maybe. I have a vague idea of a few lines, but it's tough. I'm not even sure if I got it right."

"Well, what d'you think it's about?" Gajeel pressed.

"Some sort of ritualistic, tribal magic ceremony. But I don't know what it's for yet." She sighed. "It's so frustrating." Gajeel grinned at her, baring sharp ivory canines.

"You'll figure it out, shrimp."

"Don't call me shrimp!" Levy huffed, pouting and crossing her arms. He reached across the table to pat her unruly blue head.

"Yeah, yeah."

Juvia watched the two wistfully, stifling a sigh as it attempted to make its escape. "How nice," she murmured wistfully. "Juvia wishes Gray-sama would flirt with her." Gajeel threw his head back laughing, while Levy blushed fierily and Gray looked away, uncomfortable.

Suddenly Juvia's eyes widened and she stared intently at something over Gray's shoulder. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was perched on the edge of her seat, straining for a better look. "What–" he started, but she was already rocketing out of her seat with a gasp and darting towards the open guild doors. "Juvia?" Gray called after her, utterly bewildered.

She wasn't listening. The world narrowed to a single point as she skidded haphazardly into the street and threw herself forward into the arms of a tall guy standing near the guild. "I missed you," she breathed into his collarbone, closing her eyes contentedly.

He chuckled, his chest vibrating against her cheek. "I missed you too, Juvia. Have you been okay?" The air left her lungs in one huge sigh, her body going limp against his. His warmth soaked through her skin, heating the hidden corners of her body that couldn't seem to get warm lately.

"Mm," she mumbled in assent. "I'm glad you came."

"Let's go inside," he said. He tugged her by the hand into the guild, where the entire current population of the room gaped at the pair. Gray approached them, frowning.

"Jace?" he said, raising an eyebrow and glancing between him and Juvia. The way she leaned into his side made his jaw clench. "You know each other?" Jace seemed to find this amusing.

"You could say that." He turned to Juvia and smiled. "You feel better now that we're inside? You didn't look so good out there."

She nodded, her gaze flicking to Gray and back. "Juvia was feeling a bit hot outside," she said. "Jace, come with Juvia to get something to drink, okay?" She dragged him away to the bar before he could protest. "Juvia will tell you later," she whispered in Jace's ear. " And she hasn't told anyone in the guild except the master. She doesn't want to make them worry for nothing."

Jace looked into her face, searching it for a trace of something, anything. Juvia had changed, somehow. It felt different, in the way she smiled, or the cool brush of her hand against his. "You're sure you don't want to say anything?" he asked finally. She nodded firmly.

"Juvia is positive. Anyway, what about Mama and Papa? Are they coming?" A cloud passed over Jace's face.

"Mom's not…doing so great, lately. Dad wanted to come, but taking care of Mom…came first." Juvia looked down at her feet. It wasn't like she hadn't known. Her mother had been sickly since Juvia was little, and it became a common practice that they her father would miss some event of Juvia's because her mother wasn't feeling well.

It wasn't like Juvia had expected any different, just because this time the 'event' was her pending death.

After all, who would abandon someone who could be saved in favor of someone who could not?

"Juvia."

"Juvia doesn't mind, Jace. Mama is more important."

"No one is more important than you, Juvia," Jace said quietly. "You are precious."

"Juvia knew you would say that," the young woman said, tapping a finger against the back of his hand. Just then, Mira came over to them, smiling widely.

"Juvia, why didn't you ever tell me you had such a wonderful younger brother?" she demanded cheerfully. "He's so sweet, coming all this way to visit you." Jace grinned.

"Yeah, Juvia, I hope you're grateful. I was really busy at home, you know."

Juvia pouted. "Too busy for poor lonely Juvia?" He broke out into laughter and patted the top of her head, pulling her close.

"Never."

"Aw," Mira cooed, covering her mouth with her hands. "You two are so cute together. I'd be jealous if I didn't have my own adorable siblings."

On the other side of the guild, something crashed and Elfman bellowed, "Like a _man_!" Mira's smile didn't waver in the slightest.

"Thanks for helping me out yesterday," Jace said to Mira. "I don't know what I would have done without you." He glanced down at Juvia. "She told me how to find you, since you weren't here when I came yesterday." Juvia nodded.

"Do you want a tour?" Mira offered. "Since you're here and all."

"Juvia and I have some stuff to catch up on, so I think we're going to find somewhere to talk," Jace said. "But thanks for the offer." Mira smiled.

"Anytime."

As they walked toward the doors, Juvia's gaze fell on Gray, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, eyes closed. "Hey," he said casually. Jace nodded at him even though he couldn't see. Juvia tugged her arm out of Jace's grasp and approached Gray cautiously. His eyes snapped open when she stood next to him.

"Gray-sama?" Juvia said softly, leaning around to meet his gaze. He seemed a little off. It showed through in the tightness of his shoulders, and the bones in his hand that pressed against the skin, trying to get out. And he was wearing a shirt. That was rare. Gray looked at her without blinking.

"What?"

"Will you go on a job with Juvia tomorrow?"

Gray jerked his chin at Jace, who was waiting patiently in the doorway. "What about him?"

"Jace has something to do while he's here, so Juvia will be by herself tomorrow." It was only a tiny lie. Jace liked to explore new towns and get the feeling of a place. It was the perfect excuse to separate for a day.

Gray heaved a long sigh. "Yeah, whatever. I'll pick one out, so meet me here at 8 tomorrow morning." He slouched away before Juvia could reply, leaving her to beam at his retreating back.

"You guys close?" Jace asked when she returned to his side. Juvia smiled.

"Not at all. Gray-sama is always bothered by Juvia." Jace frowned.

"Really? That's weird."

Juvia nodded and continued, "He thinks Juvia is too clingy. Gray-sama always gets upset when Juvia hugs him."

Jace laughed. "Who are you, and what have you done with my sister?" he teased. "I've never seen you being friendly with anyone outside our family."

"To Juvia, everyone in Fairy Tail is family," she said simply.

Jace stared at his older sister for a long time. "Oh yeah?" he said finally. "I'm glad." Juvia smiled again, but then she was distracted by a long strip of shade along the side of the street where the buildings blocked the sun and dragged Jace into it with her. "Juvia, are you okay?" he asked, searching her face. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. "Your cheeks are red."

"Jace," she said, staring straight ahead and pulling him along with her. "Juvia is starting to disappear."

"You mean…" Jace abruptly yanked Juvia off the main road, into a narrow alley. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Juvia didn't want anyone to overhear."

"No, that's not– I mean, why didn't you write it in the letter?" Juvia sighed and stared at the uneven cobblestones beneath her feet.

"What good would that have done? Juvia would have just made you worry more. Juvia doesn't want to see you sad." She reached up and touched his cheek in a sisterly caress. "This is better."

"Dad would have come if we had known," Jace muttered. He wrapped her in a sudden, jerky hug and squeezed her tightly. "He should have come. You're his only daughter, Goddamn it. He told me it was nothing, that I shouldn't worry. That stupid bastard…"

Juvia didn't recognize the trembling in Jace's chest. She had never seen him like this before, not even when their mother almost died. But she knew the taste of tears on her lips, and she remembered the jolting pain of a trapped sob. She held Jace tightly, eyes jammed shut. He buried his face in her neck, and she could feel him biting his lip to keep from making a sound.

"Papa loves Mama a lot," she whispered. "Sometimes Juvia thinks they would have been happier without children." Jace's grip on Juvia's back tightened. "But Juvia loves Mama and Papa a lot, and she knows they love Juvia and Jace too. You can't know what might have been – you can only know what is, and remember to be grateful what you have. No matter what, you have Juvia, and Juvia has you, and that is more than enough."

"But you're going to be gone soon," Jace whispered. His voice cracked on the word _gone_. "What am I supposed to do then?"

"You're going to remember," she breathed. "Remember Juvia. Remember that Juvia loves you. Juvia will never leave you, Jace."

"Stupid," he laughed, choking on his tears. "What are you getting all embarrassing on me for?" He pulled back, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry for freaking out all of a sudden." Juvia laced her arm through his and pressed herself into his body, absorbing his warmth. Jace was her other half, the piece that kept her breathing when there was nothing to live for. No matter how many years passed, no matter who she fell in love with, that would never change.

"Just don't cry, okay? Or Juvia will have to send you home to Mama and Papa." Jace rolled his eyes, but Juvia could see the anxiety that lurked behind the flippant gesture.

"We should go somewhere indoors," he said, squinting up and the brightness showing past the buildings that kept them in the dark. "How about your apartment?"

"Juvia doesn't know if you'll be allowed in," she said doubtfully. "Juvia lives in the girl's dorm for Fairy Tail guild members."

"Well, let's try," Jace said, leading her back to the main street. "I don't really want to hang out in a public place right now." Juvia agreed wholeheartedly. Jace's eyes and cheeks were flushed red and there was a damp patch on her shoulder where his cheek had rested. They would attract attention no matter where they went.

As it turned out, Jace easily bypassed Fairy Hills' security as soon as they were assured that he was Juvia's brother. She led him by the hand to her room, and together they collapsed on the bed. "So tired," Jace moaned. "Even though I didn't do anything today."

"Crying takes a lot out of you," Juvia murmured absently, playing with a strand of his bluish hair.

"Could you stop talking about that?" Jace asked, his cheeks going pink. "It's crazy embarrassing." Juvia giggled and rolled onto her stomach, poking Jace's forehead.

"Isn't it Juvia's job to embarrass you, as the older sister?"

He grabbed her hand and held it in front of his face, keeping her from reaching him. "No, you're supposed to be nice to me." Juvia splayed her fingers as she struggled to break Jace's grip. He stared at the slender digits, his eyes darkening. "Your hands…"

"Hm?" Juvia realized with a start what he was talking about, and her playful spirit left her with a whoosh. "Oh. You mean how Juvia's fingers have started turning see-through." During the day, her whole hand had turned fuzzy. She could almost see Jace's face through her fingers.

"Damn it," Jace cursed under his breath. "Damn it!"

"Juvia should start wearing gloves," his sister mused, staring regretfully at her hand. "Or else Gray-sama might notice."

 **No school for me tomorrow :) Memorial Day is a wonderful thing. I'm thinking I'll do an extra update tomorrow just cuz. Sound good? Remember to review, favorite and follow! I love hearing from all of you. Oh, almost forgot – did anyone see it? There was something sort of obvious and something else not so obvious. Let me know in a review!**


	5. Blue Dresses and Bad Dreams

**Sorry it's a little late, everyone. I forgot about this until just now. I'm caught up to myself now, so here's where my updating frequency and reliability will be put to the test. Also, this chapter is a little short, sorry. It's mostly just some fluff, but there's some angst and stuff mixed in. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _We are weighed down, every moment, by the conception and sensation of Time. And there are but two means of escaping and forgetting this nightmare: pleasure and work. Pleasure consumes us. Work strengthens us. Let us choose._

* * *

The next morning, Juvia woke up early. It was the day of her date – 'job request' – with Gray, and she had to get ready. Jace snored on the other side of her bed. Juvia smiled down at his sleeping face. The worry from the day before had been wiped from his expression by sleep and he looked the way he had when they were kids, innocent and carefree.

Once she was ready, Juvia wrote a quick note telling Jace where she was going and that he should take the day to explore and left the apartment. She got to the guild at 7:45, expecting to wait for at least half an hour, and was surprised to see Gray was already there, his hands stuffed in his pockets. The morning was warm, and he wore a loose tank top and shorts. He was looking in the opposite direction of where Juvia stood, and so he was completely taken off-guard when she jumped at him, shrieking, "Gray-sama~!"

They tumbled to the ground, Gray on the bottom. "Ouch," he groaned, rubbing his elbow. He hadn't been able to get his hands out of his pockets in time and had to use his elbows to keep from hitting his head. "What the hell, Ju–"

The words dissolved on his tongue as he looked at her and saw what she was wearing. Unaware, she leaned forward with a cheerful smile. "Good morning, Gray-sama!"

"Yeah…" Gray mumbled, pushing her off gently and getting to his feet. He offered her a hand, which she took with alarming speed. She was wearing white wrist-length gloves. As she brushed herself off, Gray stared vacantly at her, not quite believing his eyes.

The dress was low-cut across the bust and tight in the waist and butt, displaying an hourglass figure Gray had always pointedly ignored. It was short, too, making it seem as though her slim legs went on for miles. Shades of blue faded from a navy so dark it looked almost black at the hem to a bluish-white at the neckline. The hem was loose and fluttered around her thighs, catching attention instantly. Her silky blue hair was tied into simple ponytail at the crown of her head, the tips brushing tantalizingly over her bare collarbone.

Well, even if he didn't feel anything romantic for Juvia, he was still a guy, after all.

"So what's the job, Gray-sama?" Juvia asked, completely oblivious to Gray's inner thoughts.

"Oh, uh…" He dug the sheet out of his back pocket and held it up for her to read. "It's a request for someone to save a town from some monster. It's about an hour-long train ride from here, so we should get going."

"Right!" Juvia agreed, smiling happily. They started down the street, Gray struggling to keep his eyes on anything but her. It wasn't helping that she was walking a little bit in front of him, affording him an excellent view of her butt. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one staring at the oblivious water mage. On both sides of the street, men observed her with heavy desire burning in their eyes. Gray gritted his teeth. It couldn't be helped.

"Juvia," he said, stepping forward and slipped a hand around her elbow. "Slow down a little."

"Gray-sama?" Juvia gasped, her gaze jolting wildly from his skin on hers to his face, which was turned resolutely forward. "Gray-sama, is something wrong?" Gray shot a glare at one guy who nearly walked into a pole trying to get a better look at Juvia.

"No, nothing's wrong. Just…uh…" He realized suddenly that he was being oddly protective of Juvia. Well, no, it wasn't really that strange. She was his guild mate. They were practically family. Obviously he would want to keep her safe from strangers. That had to explain his urge to punch every last male being on that street in the face right then. "It's crowded, so…you know… I want to, um, make sure we don't get separated."

Magnolia wasn't a large town, and its residents preferred to go out in the afternoons and evenings. The majority of the people on the streets were tourists, and Magnolia didn't get that many of those. The street was anything but 'crowded'.

Juvia just beamed. "Gray-sama," she murmured, snuggling close to him and pressing her cheek against his shoulder. "Thank you for coming with Juvia today."

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. Sure." Gray was understandably distracted by Juvia's small hand in his. When had she… He sighed. Juvia would be Juvia. "But I'm glad to see you're back to normal," he said thoughtlessly. "You had me worried."

"Juvia…didn't want Gray-sama to worry about her," Juvia mumbled under her breath, squeezing Gray's hand tightly as they stepped into the station. "Juvia is sorry."

"Huh?" Gray said, leaning down closer to her. A train had passed by, drowning out her words. Juvia smiled and took the opportunity to plant a kiss on the soft skin between his ear and jaw.

"Juvia loves you, Gray-sama," she shouted into the roar of a new train pulling into the station. "Juvia will always love you."

Gray turned away, his hand slipping out of Juvia's as they boarded the train. Juvia stared at her gloved fingers sadly as she followed the ice mage to a seat in the back of the car. Without his warmth, the air felt cold, even though it was summer.

They sat in silence across from each other. The quiet filled the air between them like molasses, slow and thick and heavy. It was suffocating. Juvia closed her eyes.

"So, uh, did you always wear gloves?" Gray asked abruptly, cutting a narrow hole in the silence. Juvia blinked slowly.

"No… Juvia thought she would try it. Does it look good?"

"Yeah, it suits you, I guess," he said, scratching his head. His eyes stared out the window so he didn't have to meet her dark blue gaze. "But aren't you hot? It's pretty hot today, even in shorts."

"Juvia is naturally cool, so she is fine with the heat." She looked down at her lap. "Gray-sama, Juvia–"

"Sorry, Juvia," Gray said. "I didn't get that much sleep last night, so do you mind if I sleep now? I'm exhausted."

"Of course!" she exclaimed. "Juvia is so sorry! If you want, you may use Juvia's lap as a pillow!"

He grimaced. "I'm good, thanks." The hole in the silence closed, and once again Juvia struggled to breathe through the oppressive atmosphere. Her secret pressed on her, clogging her lungs. It was screaming, deafening in the soundlessness between them. She wanted the words out of her head. She wanted to tell him.

Juvia's lips parted just as Gray snored softly. She smiled faintly and clasped her hands in her lap. He must have been really tired to fall asleep that quickly. A burning sting on her thigh tore her attention from Gray's face. A beam of sunlight shot through the window, stabbing her bare thigh. Juvia scooted over, but it was worse the farther from the window she got. Pressing herself to the wall didn't work either. She stared longingly at Gray's seat, enshrouded in cool shade. Would he be angry if she just…?

* * *

Gray awoke with a jolt when the train came to a stop. "Fir Station, Fir Station," a monotone voice called over the speakers. Gray sighed and leaned back in the seat, rolling his neck. Their station was the next stop. He glanced at where Juvia had been sitting and realized the seat was empty. "Juvia?" he called, looking around. Where had she disappeared to while he was asleep? Gray tried to stand, only to realize that his lap was extraordinarily heavy.

A small blue head rested on his thigh, eyes closed. Her lips were pinched shut, and as he watched, she frowned. "Juvia?"' Gray repeated, tapping her shoulder carefully. She shifted slightly, but she showed no signs of waking. A tiny sound escaped her lips that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. "Juvia." Hesitantly, Gray reached out to touch her hair. "It's okay," he murmured vaguely, not really sure what to do. "I'm here."

"It's too bright," Juvia breathed. "It's hot." White teeth appeared and gnawed on her lip anxiously.

Nervous, Gray nudged her shoulder again, harder than before. "Juvia, wake up." She jerked awake and off his lap with a gasp.

"Gray…sama?" Wide dark eyes stared into his, flooded with unreadable secrets and impossible fears.

"Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost."

Juvia dropped her gaze to her feet. "Juvia did see a ghost," she whispered.

"What?" Gray leaned forward. "Seriously, what happened? What were you dreaming about?" She shook her head vehemently.

"Juvia won't say it. Juvia won't say it," she repeated feverishly. "Juvia can't say it." Gray grabbed her gloved hand and squeezed. It was so light and small in his, it almost seemed weightless. Juvia's shoulders trembled. "Gray-sama can't know. Not ever, ever."

Gray wanted to shout. He wanted to roar. What was so wrong with him? Was he such a bad friend that she couldn't even tell him what her dream was about? Jace's arm around her shoulders slipped into his head, taunting him. On her tiptoes, her mouth to his ear. She trusts him with her secrets.

He settled for shaking Juvia's fragile body. She felt like a rag doll, loose and breakable. "Cut the bullshit, Juvia! What the hell is this big secret of yours? Spit it the hell out already!"

The shattered glass in her eyes sliced deep into his skin, opening him up and letting the silence in. It spread through his veins, chilling his blood into a hard sort of cold nothing, moving sluggishly, words iced over in the back of his throat, falling to the tips of his fingers where they hung, weighing him down.

"White Pine Station, White Pine," the voice over the speakers droned. The train slowed to a screechy halt in the station and the doors opened. Wordlessly, Juvia took Gray's hand and pulled him off the train.

"What are you–"

"We'll be late. Let's just go." She didn't once look back as they left the train station and entered the small town of White Pine. "Please, Gray-sama?"

"Yeah." He was so wrapped up in her dream, he didn't even notice her words.

 _We._

 **Again, sorry for the short chapter. Oh, before I forget, I should mention something I said in last week's update. A few people spotted one of the clues, but no one got the other one. Apparently, it wasn't as obvious as I thought, which makes sense, since I wrote it in and everything. But I guess I'll tell you, since it's less of a clue and more of a character-building thing.**

 _She wasn't listening. The world narrowed to a single point as she skidded haphazardly into the street and threw herself forward into the arms of a tall guy standing near the guild. "I missed you," she breathed into his collarbone, closing her eyes contentedly._

 _He chuckled, his chest vibrating against her cheek. "I missed you too, Juvia. Have you been okay?" The air left her body in one huge sigh, her body going limp against his. His warmth soaked through her skin, heating the hidden corners of her body that couldn't seem to get warm lately._

 _"Mm," she mumbled in assent. "I'm glad you came."_

 **Does anyone see it? She's not talking in third person.**

 **Remember, review, favorite and follow!**


	6. Jealousy TROUBLEs

**Hey, guys. I'm so sorry this is late – there's been a lot of crap in my life lately, so I don't really have any time for stuff right now. That's also why this chapter is reeeeeeally short. Sorry! I'll make sure to publish an extra long chapter on Sunday. Or not. I tend to break promises like that. I'll try my best. Enjoy chapter 6 (short as it may be)! Oh, and I'm really proud of the quote this time. I think it fits Juvia perfectly in this scene.**

* * *

 _Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies. - Elizabeth Bowen_

* * *

Juvia marched through the streets of White Pine, her thoughts a blurry haze. The dream was haunting her, flickering in the edges of her vision. She could have sworn there was steam wafting from her skin, but when she turned her head to look, it was gone. The only part of her body that felt real, solid, was the hand gripping Gray's wrist tightly.

"Hey, Juvia?"

"What is it, Gray-sama?"

The ice mage jogged a little to catch up to her so he wasn't trailing behind. "Do you know where we're going?"

Juvia pulled up short and looked around. They were in what appeared to be downtown, although it wasn't much more than a few cafes and little souvenir shops. "Juvia thinks…this is the right direction…" she said doubtfully.

"The client said to meet in the coffee shop on the corner of Main Street and Rowan, right?" Gray said, searching for a street sign. "Over there." He pointed to a narrow, dim storefront across the street. Dirty white letters above the window read White Pine Coffee. "Let's go, we don't want to be late." Juvia nodded and crossed the street with him, blinking hard to chase away the bright lights dancing in the corners of her eyes.

A bell rang over their heads as they stepped into the dusty coffee shop. All the tables were empty, except for one in the far corner that was occupied by a man in dark sunglasses. Juvia approached him cautiously. "Sorry to bother you," she said softly. "Are you the one who sent out a job request to Fairy Tail?" The man frowned up at her.

"What would I do that for?"

"Ah, Juvia is terribly sorry!" she exclaimed, backing away and bowing. Someone laughed from the shadowy counter.

"You're adorable, aren't you?" Gray was immediately on guard, moving in front of Juvia and setting his fist in his palm. A figure hopped off the counter and sauntered toward them, a Cheshire cat grin spreading across their face. "Relax, sweetie. I'm the one who sent out that request. Thanks for coming."

Gray eyed the woman who emerged into the dim lighting with suspicion, loosening up slightly but not dropping his hands. "Okay," he said slowly. "Any explanations, or should we get right to it?" The woman blatantly looked him up and down, her gaze lingering on his torso, and licked her lips.

"No, I'm ready to get started," she purred.

Every hair on Juvia's body stood up on end. _Love rival_ , a voice hissed in her head. This woman was a threat. Juvia appraised her from her position behind Gray. Long, tanned legs stretched out from under a pair of impossibly tight black shorts. A white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off that looked at least two sizes too small outlined a figure that rivaled Juvia's. Her eyes were the clear blue of tropical oceans, framed by long auburn lashes the same color as her thick hair. She had a straight nose and full red lips. The longer she looked, the more Juvia was convinced: this woman was TROUBLE with a capital everything.

"I'm Lisbeth," TROUBLE said, stepping forward to wrap a hand around Gray's forearm. "Let's be friends." Juvia's eyes slitted. A woman other than herself was touching her Gray-sama. And now this woman was running her manicured talons along his arm. And Gray wasn't saying a word.

"Juvia would like some details before beginning," she announced loudly, glaring daggers at the TROUBLE that had just become a CATASTROPHE. Lisbeth the man-stealer smiled with red lips back at her.

"There's something that's living in the sewers. We're not sure what it is, but we'll pay you whatever you want if you get rid of it. It's only eaten pets and the like so far, but it's only a matter of time until it develops a taste for people. It was spotted in this area yesterday so it should still be around here."

"Where is the nearest sewer entrance?" Juvia demanded. The CATASTROPHE smirked.

"Just outside the shop, to the left. You'll spot it pretty quick." Juvia turned to her partner.

"Gray-sama, come with Juvia. Juvia wants to finish this quickly."

Gray glanced at Lisbeth, who was still glued to his arm. She didn't seem inclined to let go any time soon. "Why don't we stay a little longer, get a coffee or something?" he suggested, not wanting to spend the next ten minutes prying the tenacious woman from him. Once she let go of her own free will, they could make a run for it.

Juvia scowled, not caring what kind of lines it would leave on her face. She would be gone soon, anyway. "Juvia doesn't drink coffee," she said tersely. "If Gray-sama wants to stay here, then Juvia will do the job by herself." She left the shop, slamming the door so hard years of dust colonies were detached from the window and drifted to the floor in a cloud.

"What the hell?" Gray muttered, staring perplexedly after her.

"Ignore her," Lisbeth said, pressing herself into Gray's arm. "She's just jealous. It's obvious that girl is madly in love with you. Oh, oops," she giggled. "You didn't know, did you? Sorry."

Gray stared at her blankly. "Do I look stupid to you?" he asked. "Of course I know. She's told me countless times. I get at least three confessions a day from her."

"Wh- What does that mean?" Lisbeth stammered, looking dumbfounded.

"It doesn't mean anything," Gray said, wrenching his arm out of her grip. "But I'll tell you this: I'm not interested." He headed for the door, stopping halfway into the street. "I'll be back for my money later," he called, before letting the door swing shut behind him, dislodging another few years of dust.

* * *

Juvia trudged through the sewer, listening to the sludgy water swish and gurgle past. Luckily, there was a narrow maintenance path along the side of the tunnel, so she was spared the horror of wading through the thigh-deep slop. Nothing could protect her from the stench, though – a combination of human excrement, rotten fish, and week-old vomit. Juvia had gagged when she first dropped down from the street above, overpowered by the smell.

But she could have dealt with anything if Gray had come with her. "Gray-sama," Juvia sighed.

"What?"

"Why didn't you come with Juvia? You said–" Juvia pivoted to stare at the man standing behind her. "Gray-sama?!" He cracked a smile.

"Hey there."

"B-But, Juvia thought–"

"You thought wrong," Gray said, shrugging. "Now come on, we've got a monster to catch." He walked past Juvia, and then stopped and looked back. "You coming or what? I'll leave you behind."

"Juvia is coming!" she declared hastily, lunging forward to join Gray. He laughed.

"Then let's go."

 **Again, I apologize for the lateness and the length. I'll do my best to make sure Sunday's update is on time and long. Thanks for being patient! To pass the time, I suggest writing long, thoughtful reviews... I love reading those!**


	7. To Tell or Not to Tell

**I felt obligated to write you guys a fight scene, but I should warn you: this is my greatest weakness. I suck at this stuff, so try not to hold it against me. You can skip it if you want.**

 **I want to say thank you to all the people who reviewed last time. Your support was awesome, and it really helped me out. Love ya ;)**

 **Today's chapter is both on time and long, so let's hear a massive round of applause for yours truly! Yeah, I know, I'm incredible. (No one needs to know this was mostly written today...)**

 **I kinda struggled with the quote for this chapter, but we'll see. Maybe it fits, maybe it doesn't. I have more to say about that at the bottom.**

* * *

 _As happens with a person who loves a thing too much, it destroys them. Oscar Wilde said, "You destroy the thing that you love." It's the other way_ _around. What you love destroys you. - George Plimpton_

* * *

They found the monster about half a mile from the coffee shop. It was sleeping in the middle of the sewer, blocking the flow of the waste. "What is it?" Juvia whispered, craning her neck. It was hard to tell, since it had curled itself into a tight ball.

"Whatever it is, that thing is big," Gray whispered back. "It's taking up the whole space." The sewer was a couple yards wide, and the murky water ran at least two and a half feet deep, but the monster filled the space easily, rising to brush the low ceiling. Suddenly, a deafening rumbling shook the tunnel. Juvia hunched her shoulders and screwed up her eyes until it faded away. Gray was staring at the sleeping creature. "I think it just snored," he said. Juvia took a step forward cautiously, listening. She could hear its breathing.

"What do you want to do about it?" she asked, turning back to meet Gray's eyes. "What's the plan?"

"It'll be easier to take down if it's asleep, so let's try an ambush. You go in from the side, attack its flank, and I'll go from the front. Okay?" Juvia nodded.

"Yes, Gray-sama!"

"Can't you…" Gray sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Ah, never mind. Let's just do it." Juvia shot a confused glance at his turned back before obediently moving to her assigned station.

"Ready?" Gray mouthed at her from his ice floe in the middle of the sewer. Juvia copied the action. He held up three fingers, counting down the seconds.

 _Three… Two… One._

Gray lunged, leaping off his platform and forming an enormous glittering lance. It landed on the monster's forehead, pointed edge gleaming murderously, and–

Bounced off.

The ice lance landed in the sewer with a splash and disappeared. Gray and Juvia stared at the monster. "What–"

A deafening roar drowned out whatever expletives might have been about to spew out of Gray's mouth, shaking the floor under Juvia's feet and almost reversing the flow of the sewage. The previous noise had been like the mewl of a kitten compared to the enraged bellow coming out of the monster's gaping maw.

Although, Juvia noted in a strange moment of detachedness, the monster had in fact a very small mouth for monster of that size.

"Juvia!" Gray shouted, back on his platform. "Get its attention! I'll try to get it from a blind spot!"

"Right!" Juvia called back, jerked back to reality. She sucked in a deep breath, thought for a moment, and then shrieked, "OVER HERE, MONSTER-CREATURE-THING! JUVIA IS OVER HERE! COME AND GET JUVIA, SMELLY UGLY SEWER-DWELLER!" The monster's head swiveled on its neck so fast Juvia pondered for a moment whether sewer monsters could get whiplash.

The monster was lion-shaped, with a long, sleek body and a feline head. However, its hide was made of some sort of dull black material, and it had no mane. Tiny golden eyes glowered at Juvia, and the small mouth was tightly shut. The monster growled experimentally at Juvia.

"Bad kitty," Juvia said automatically. The creature frowned at her, if enormous lion-things could frown. "Bad kitty," Juvia repeated. This time the monster snarled, revealing vicious yellow teeth and black gums.

It jerked suddenly, and Gray could be heard on the other side of it, cursing. "Goddamn it! Why the hell can't I stab this thing?" The monster twisted the other way to growl menacingly at Gray. It didn't have enough space to actually turn its body in the sewer, and it couldn't stand all the way up either. It took a snap at Gray's head, but he managed to dodge it and leapt onto the monster's side. Juvia was already running around to join him, hopping from the makeshift platform in the sewer to the maintenance path on the other side.

"Gray-sama!" she shouted. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" He didn't exactly look fine – he was struggling to keep his grip on the monster's smooth hide. "But we need a new plan. Trying to go through the outside isn't working." Juvia frowned. Where were they supposed to attack if striking the outside was useless?

The monster roared again, killing another thousand of Juvia's braincells. Gray had to resist the urge to clap his hands over his ears like a little kid. The inside of the monster's mouth was a mottled pink, a contrast to the black of its hide. Randomly, Juvia wondered if the different color meant that the inside of the mouth was made of something different than the outer coat.

She blinked. "Gray-sama! Juvia has an idea!" she yelled to Gray, who was clinging to the monster's side for dear life as it tried to throw him off.

"Well, hurry it up, then!" he replied distractedly. "Little busy here!"

"Juvia will get it to open its mouth, so attack there when Juvia says!" The water mage shot a jet of water at the monster's face before Gray could protest. It hit the beast square on the nose, more than a bit shooting up its left nostril. The monster snorted, shaking its head back and forth vigorously. Baleful eyes locked on Juvia's defiant figure and somehow, something managed to connect her to the water in the creature's minuscule brain. Disproportionately small jaws unlocked and another roar tore through the sewer, threatening to collapse the ceiling. As the monster's roar died out and it tried to close its maw, it found that it was unable to do so.

Water chains kept the monster's mouth wide open, exposing its weakness. Juvia grimaced as she fought the beast, trying to keep its mouth open as wide as possible. "Gray-sama, now!"

Gray scrambled along the monster's curved flank, his mind racing. What should he attack with? The lance hadn't worked. The hammer had just shattered like a glass vase dropped on a marble floor. No time left for thinking – he was at the monster's neck. He had to strike.

"Ice-Make: Cold Excalibur!" Gray bellowed. He buried the sword to the hilt in the slimy pink roof of the monster's mouth and held on tight as the creature jerked and writhed in its death throes. Juvia screamed his name.

"Get out of there, Gray-sama! Juvia can't hold it much longer!" His legs propelled him backwards into the sewer, where he landed with a splash that coated his face in sewage. Above him, the monster's lifeless corpse swayed dangerously.

"Juvia!" Gray shouted, scrambling onto the maintenance path. "We've gotta get out of here! That thing's coming down!" Juvia nodded and followed Gray as he raced back the way they had come. Behind them, a wave of discharge and other nastiness surged through the tunnel, chasing them and splashing their heels. Juvia started laughing at the absurdity of the situation – they were running away from sewer water – and pretty soon, Gray had been infected by the mood and they were gasping for breath and clutching their sides as they slowed to a jog.

"Juvia thinks… This is the right spot…" she wheezed, stopping under an exit that led to the street above. Gray pulled himself up the ladder and pushed aside the cover. His head came back down into the dank tunnel.

"Yeah, this is it," he said, offering Juvia a hand. "Let's go." As Juvia took his hand, her vision split and whirled, as though she were looking through a kaleidoscope and she'd just given it a sharp twist. Her stomach churned, and it took all she had not to vomit right there. "Juvia?" Gray's voice was distant and tinny, like he was in a recording. "Juvia, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she managed to whisper. "Juvia is…fine." She could feel the blood draining out of her face as her cheeks went cold and clammy. "Just… Please help Juvia get out of here…" Gray swept her up and over his shoulder and scaled the ladder at speeds that would have impressed a professional rock climber. Finally out in the fresh air, he laid her down on the ground.

"Feel better?" he asked. Juvia closed her eyes. Now that the nausea-inducing stench was gone, she did feel somewhat better. But she knew that wasn't the problem. She had used up too much energy earlier, fighting the monster. Evaporating was weakening her, so the more she did, the worse it would get. And now she was exhausted. She wasn't sure she'd be able to get up by herself.

"Juvia just…needs to rest a little while. She will be fine soon, and then Gray-sama and Juvia can go home. Jace will be waiting…"

"Shut up," Gray said, not unkindly. "We'll stay here for today and go back tomorrow." A strand of hair that had escaped Juvia's ponytail lay limply across her nose, and he brushed it away in an absent gesture.

"No, Juvia has to go home. She has to talk to Porlyusica-san soon." Gray blinked.

"Porlyusica? Why?"

"Porlyusica-san said she would help Juvia…" was the last thing Juvia murmured before she fell asleep.

"What the hell?" Gray muttered, lifting her up off the pavement. "If you need help, you should say so, idiot." Her head lolled against his forearm, and her warm cheek pressed into his skin. "How am I supposed to protect you if I don't know what I'm protecting you from?"

* * *

Juvia woke up, for once, to a pleasantly cool sensation. A low rumble buzzed in her ear, and she glanced to the side to see the very muscular, very bare chest of a sleeping Gray. Heat spread from the crown of her head to the tips of her toes. She glanced up. He was asleep, his jaw leaning against his fist, his elbow balanced on the arm of the seat. The rumble had been his faint snoring. Gratefully, Juvia noticed this train had window shades and someone had pulled theirs down.

She sat up and took stock of their surroundings. They were on a train trundling through the nondescript countryside. The short, round woman who came down the aisle with a cart of drinks told Juvia they were about fifteen minutes from Magnolia. Juvia bought two bottles of water and opened one with a pop. When she had drunk half, she put the cap back on and turned to Gray. It really was a shame to wake him, but she had to soon. "Gray-sama," she murmured, touching his shoulder. He grumbled and shifted, but didn't open his eyes. "Gray-sama, the train has almost reached Magnolia." Oh, she wanted so badly to kiss him awake, to climb into his lap and–

Gray stretched and yawned cavernously. "Sorry, I fell asleep." Juvia sighed silently and offered him the unopened bottle of water. "Oh, thanks." He smiled slightly at her, and something in her heart flinched. She wanted to tell him to stop making her love him when she would be gone so soon. Instead she leaned back against the threadbare seat and closed her eyes. "So, what was it you needed to speak with Porlyusica about?"

"What?' Juvia's eyes popped open and she stared at Gray's hard expression. "Juvia said something like that?" He just met her gaze pointedly. "But, Juvia doesn't even know Porlyusica-san. You must have misheard."

"Porlyusica is a pretty unique name," he said. "Stop pretending and tell me the truth, Juvia." The way he said her name sent shivers down her spine.

"Juvia is telling the truth," she lied softly. "Juvia doesn't know what you're talking about, Gray-sama."

"Like hell you don't," he said, just as quietly. "I'm tired of playing these games with you, Juvia. If something's wrong, you have to tell me."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why is it that you care so much, Gray-sama?" Juvia asked, her eyes closed again. "What makes you want to know so badly?"

"You're my friend and my guildmate," he said levelly. "Of course I care."

"Then why haven't the others asked Juvia what is wrong? Why is it only Gray-sama who is so persistent?" She sounded agitated now, her fingers gripping the armrest in a chokehold.

"I don't know!" he exploded. "I just do, okay? It bothers me to think that you don't think you can trust me with this! I want to know what's bothering you. I want to help you with it. I hate thinking of you struggling all by yourself."

"There's nothing you can do." The raw hurt in her voice was the only thing that kept Gray from breaking something. As it was, the water bottle in his hand was crushed into an unrecognizable ball, water leaking out between his fingers. "No one can help Juvia."

"But you said Porlyusica–"

"She is trying," Juvia said slowly, "But no one knows how to save Juvia anymore. This is the end."

"What are you talking about?" Gray hated how desperate he sounded. "What do you mean, _end_? What the fuck is going on?"

"Magnolia Station, Magnolia."

Juvia darted out of her seat as the train slowed, slipping out between the doors almost before they even opened, her blue dress swishing behind her. Gray stared after her, his mouth sour with the taste of too many unanswered questions.

* * *

Of all the things, she'd forgotten her keys. Juvia knocked on the door again, praying Jace had gotten back already. But the minutes ticked by, and no one answered the door. Back to the wall, she slid down to sit on the floor, head in her hands.

There wasn't a word in any language anywhere that was adequate to describe how much of an idiot she was. "Moron," she whispered through her tears. "Stupid. Dolt. Idiot. Imbecile. Fool. Idiot…"

When Jace found her an hour later, she had collapsed onto her side in front the door and curled up into the fetal position. He didn't say anything, just picked her up and brought her into the apartment. After tucking her into her bed, he brought her a glass of the sweet iced tea she had been saving in the fridge.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Of course," he said simply. The silence that fell between them was comforting and familiar, like an old blanket you've had since childhood. Jace stroked Juvia's hair once and got up to put the empty glass in the sink.

"Should I have told him?"

Jace paused on the threshold of Juvia's room. "About the thing?"

"Mm."

"If you were him, would you want him to tell you?"

Would she? How would she handle knowing the one she loved more than life itself was disappearing?

She would go looking for a cure.

"No, I wouldn't want that," she sighed. "If there was nothing I could do, I wouldn't want him to tell me."

Jace slid into the bed with her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You told _me_."

Juvia cast a sulky glance at him from under her lashes. "But Jace is Juvia's brother. You're different - you have the right to know. If she hadn't told you, you'd be at home right now, completely unaware that your older sister is vanishing." His grip on her arm tightened.

"True. But Gray is here in the same town as you, and he has no idea what's going on. Don't you think he'd be miserable if you disappeared without giving him the chance to try to help you?"

"Gray-sama will forget Juvia quickly," she murmured, pressing her cheek against Jace's shoulder. "He will be alright without Juvia." The sadness in her voice at the thought of being forgotten twisted Jace's stomach into knots.

"You were out on a job with him today, right?" he asked, changing the subject. "You okay?"

"Juvia is okay."

The lie was bitter on her tongue and stung when she swallowed.

 **I like that ending line. Okay, so about the quote. I feel that's more of just a general Gruvia quote. Doesn't it fit them (especially in this situation)? But yeah. Who do you think was right – George Plimpton or Oscar Wilde? Personally, I think it's true both ways.**

 **See you next week! Remember to drop me a review and favorite & follow!**


	8. Will

**I kind of can't believe it's 8:42 AM on a Sunday and I'm awake and not lying half-asleep in bed. This is either a miracle or a nightmare. Anyhow, here I am! Huffah for new chapters! This one is long, so you're welcome. I'm not really sure I like it. It's kinda meh. But I'll probably make it worse if I spend too much time on it, so Imma just post it and get it over with.**

 **Tomorrow is my last day of school! YES! (It's on a Monday, though...) Still, YES! Summer vacation! And that means I'll have lots of time to post stuff! Yay! (Well, yay for you guys. Posting stuff is a lot of work for me.)**

 **Aaaaaaanyway, I'm rambling. Sorry. I have a lot of early morning energy for some reason. But seriously, I'll stop now. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 _Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. - Paul Coelho_

* * *

Juvia felt as though she should be crying, but she couldn't seem to find the energy. Porlyusica glanced over at her periodically, her sharp eyes wary. "You're not going get weepy on me again, are you?" she asked for the third time in the last two minutes.

"Juvia is okay, Porlyusica-san. Juvia has had enough crying to last her a lifetime. More than her fair share, really." She chuckled wryly at the irony. She had been allotted lifetime's worth of tears, but only a fraction of a lifetime.

Porlyusica didn't say that she probably would have been more comfortable had Juvia been bawling hysterically. The abrupt calm was unnerving.

Really, Jace had been much more panicked by it than she had, Juvia thought, recalling the events of the morning.

* * *

"Juvia, are you going to the guild today?" Juvia rubbed her eyes sleepily, glancing at the time on the clock. 7:30 AM. Jace smiled at her from his seat in her armchair. He was munching on a bagel and flipping through one of her favorite trashy romance novels.

"Juvia thinks she will go shopping today," she mused, pushing herself up from the bed. She swung her legs over the side and braced herself for the early-morning chill that would freeze the soles of her feet. Oddly enough, she couldn't feel anything from her feet. Not cold, not heat, not the sensation of touch, even when she pressed them into the floor. "Jace," she whispered. He glanced up at her.

"What's the matter? Do I have to come with you or so–" The pain in Juvia's expression said everything he didn't want to hear. "No. No, Juvia, no no no. You can't already be–" He lunged from the chair, reaching for his older sister blindly. Jace collapsed on his knees in front of her. "Where? Where is it?" He dragged fearful hands down her bare arms, searching for the source of his panic. "What can I do? How do I make it stop?" he begged. His teeth pulled his lower lip into his mouth and released it with a pop. Juvia thought she saw the red shine of blood.

"Jace, stop," Juvia breathed. "It's okay. Just calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down when my sister can't stand up?" he exploded, pushing himself to his feet and running his fingers through his ice-blue hair. "I can see through your legs, Goddamn it!"

"Jace, come here," Juvia said softly. When he only continued to pace, she sighed. "Jace. Please come over here. I can't go over there to you." Jace stopped pacing, his back to Juvia. A funny choking sound escaped his throat, like he was attempting to cough up a hairball. That sound, more than anything else, made Juvia want to wail. She hated seeing her brother cry. She hated making her brother cry. "Jace, come here," she repeated.

He scrubbed his face with the back of a hand and returned to sit by Juvia's faded feet. "I didn't think it would hurt this much," he mumbled, his voice roughened by unshed tears. Juvia stroked his hair gently, like she used to do in the nights he couldn't sleep because their mother was screaming in pain.

"You will be okay," she said confidently. "I know you will." His eyes closed, and he leaned his cheek against the side of the bed.

"I don't know how the world will keep turning without you in it, Vivi," Jace muttered, using his old nickname for her. "There's no way I'll be alright." Juvia smiled a secret little smile.

"Yes, you will. You will be more than alright, JJ." Before he could ask how, she removed her fingers from his hair. "Will you carry Juvia to Porlyusica-san's house? It's probably best for Juvia to stay there from now on. You can stay here as long as you want, though."

Jace brought her, arguing the whole way. "I still don't see why I can't stay with you."

"Porlyusica-san doesn't like humans," Juvia informed him. "You're lucky if she even lets you inside."

* * *

Porlyusica cast another suspicious glance at Juvia, who was staring out the roughly cut window at the slowly darkening forest and humming tunelessly. She suspected the girl was in shock. She was dying – if she wasn't crying at this point, there was definitely something wrong. The older woman briefly considered snapping her out of it, but the consequences were messy, and there was no real benefit for either of them if Juvia had a nervous breakdown.

No, certainly not.

"What were you doing yesterday?" she asked, stripping dried leaves from a stem.

"Juvia went out on a job with Gray-sama," Juvia answered, smiling at the window. Porlyusica would have slapped her if her hands hadn't been full.

"Is there really a brain in that skull?" she grumbled. The brittle stalk snapped between her fingers. "Why would you do that when you should be avoiding sunlight at all costs? Do you have no sense of self-preservation?"

"Juvia wanted to go on a job with Gray-sama before she disappears," the younger woman said simply. "Juvia doesn't regret doing it."

* * *

Gray had arrived at the guild at five in the morning and was still there, twelve hours later, waiting for Juvia to show her face. She would have to eventually, he reasoned, and then he could corner her and make her spill whatever it was that she was refusing to tell him.

Unfortunately, spending twelve hours at the guild meant that he had nothing to do for half the day but ask himself why he had turned into some sort of stalker just to get one girl's secret. A girl who, he might add, was not so long ago the last person he'd be caught dead waiting for.

Mira handed him his eighteenth glass of water with a smile. "Waiting for someone, Gray?"

"No," he muttered, gulping down half of the water in one swig. "Why do you ask?" She giggled lightly.

"Oh, well, it's just that you've been here since dawn and haven't moved from that stool once in all that time. And you stripped all the way down to your underwear, which you haven't done in a long time. You do that when you're stressed." Gray cursed the childhood he had spent with Mirajane Strauss. She read him way too well.

The sound of the enormous guild door slamming open echoed through the hall, silencing every mouth instantly. Gray's eyes narrowed at the figure stalking towards him. "Jace," he greeted coolly. Jace stared him down wordlessly, his expression blank, his eyes empty. Gray stared back, struggling to keep his own expression neutral. Finally Jace sighed.

"Gray. I need to talk to you." He waved briefly at Mira and walked away, not waiting to make sure Gray followed him. He did, of course – Jace was possibly the closest person to Juvia, and if anyone knew what was happening to her, he would.

Jace marched down the street quickly, and Gray had to jog to catch up to him. "So, what did you want to say?" he asked, trying to catch a glimpse of Jace's face. He just kept walking.

"Not here," he muttered. "A little farther."

They stopped at the river and sat on the embankment, watching the water run past tranquilly. "Okay, so start talking," Gray said, not looking at Jace. He'd decided he didn't want to see whatever expression the other man was making.

"I'm a mage like you and Juvia," Jace began. Gray wanted to punch him. He'd been dragged away to the river to listen to some rant about being a mage? Screw that. "I use illusion magic." He snapped his fingers and held out his palm. Two tiny figures danced on his palm, smiling at each other. They grew until they were life-sized, dressed in formal wear and leaning forward to whisper in each other's ears as they waltzed along the river. Gray stared, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. The male dancer had his face, and the girl he was dancing with was Juvia. She laughed, throwing back her head, and Gray saw the tenderness in his own eyes.

"What the hell is this?" he grated, and watched as the two disappeared. Jace shrugged.

"I just told you. I'm an illusionist. That was an illusion I created." He leaned back on the grass, pillowing his head on his arms. "When she was younger, Juvia was always alone. The other kids hated her because she was 'gloomy.'" Jace snorted. "She was miserable. That was when I first discovered my magic, actually. All I wanted was a way to cheer her up. So I started creating little worlds for her. An illusion where she was the beloved princess of a faraway kingdom, or where she was a pretty fairy with a thousand fairy friends. I thought it would help her, but she just got more distant. She wasn't interested in real people – all she wanted was to play in her illusion world. I had no idea what I was doing to her. All I knew was I wanted her to smile."

Gray wanted to interrupt to ask just what his relationship with Juvia was, but the distance in Jace's eyes wrapped around his tongue and held it still.

"We would spend hours on the playground behind our school together, just so Juvia could lose herself in a fantasy I created. I watched as pieces of her reality disappeared into the void she was fighting so desperately, and I stood by while she ate and slept less and less. The bullying only got worse, of course, and she sank deeper into the hole we were digging."

Jace took a long, deep breath. "I was afraid that if I let Juvia keep going, her mind would vanish altogether, and I would be left with the hollow shell of the girl I adored since I first met her.

"I was terrified, so I abandoned her and ran away from home."

* * *

The thing Juvia hated most about not having legs was the empty hours she couldn't fill. Her mind got bored and wandered the old, unused paths into her past. It brought her through times she wished she could eradicate from history; it reminded her of all the things she had to cry about. Juvia had already had enough crying.

 _"Why won't Mommy stop screaming, Vivi?" Jace whispered, his tiny body trembling in Juvia's thin arms. She tugged the heavy blanket over his shoulders and tucked the edges under his arms. He was so fragile, she thought he might break under her touch. She had seen so many broken things already – it never took much._

 _"Mama's in a lot of pain right now," Juvia whispered back, brushing her little brother's hair back from his forehead soothingly. "The medicine isn't working well enough, and the sickness is hurting her very much. Go to sleep, JJ. It'll be alright in the morning."_

 _"Why isn't the medicine working?" Jace wanted to know. Juvia sighed._

 _"Because we can't afford the special medicine Mama needs," she murmured. "Now go to sleep, or I'll put carrots in your lunch tomorrow." Jace frowned at his sister through the dark._

 _"No carrots."_

 _"Then go to bed." Juvia poked his cheek. "Hurry up." He snuggled closer to her and faked a snore. She giggled softly and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Jace. Remember, every morning is the start of another day we'll be together."_

 _She was awake until dawn came behind the heavy gray clouds, listening to the broken sobbing of her mother and the harsh, frantic whispers of her father._

* * *

 _"Jace," Juvia called. "Jace ,where'd you go? It's time for dinner." She wandered through the small house on the hill, searching for her little brother. A narrow crease of worry lined her forehead. Jace had been acting strangely that day, not meeting her eyes, barely listening to her when she spoke. "Jace?" she said, poking her head into the only room she had yet to search – their shared bedroom. The air felt cold, and the bed looked wrong, empty. The sheets were made neatly. She hadn't made the sheets that morning, and Jace only ever did it when he had done something bad. "Jace?" Juvia repeated, her voice rising in frequency. She crossed the room to fling open the door to the closet. "Are you hiding? Come out already!"_

 _She tore through the room, ripping the sheets off the bed and pulling the drawers out of the dresser. "Jace, where are you? Jace!"_

 _Juvia sat slumped in the middle of the room, panting and crying. "Jace, come back. I need you, JJ. Where did you go?"_

 _Outside, the rain poured down on the lonely house on the hill._

* * *

 _"Juvia!"_

 _"I'm sorry, Papa. I didn't know Mama was sleeping." The anger on her father's face faded as he exhaled, but the lines of age seemed to deepen. His shoulders, no longer puffed with irritation, slumped pitifully._

 _"Where is Jace? Don't you two always play together?"_

 _Juvia stared at the chipped wood floorboards, fighting the tears that surged up her throat. Swallowing with difficulty, she mumbled, "He's been gone for a week, Papa."_

 _Her father sighed tiredly. "I can't hear you when you don't speak up, Juvia. Look at me and repeat that."_

 _The sense of wrong exploded in Juvia's heart, shoving the words out of her mouth. "Jace is gone!" she screamed. Her father jerked back, startled. "Jace hasn't been home in a week, and I'm the only one who noticed! What is wrong with you? What is your son to you? Don't you care?" Silence rang in Juvia's ears, tempered only by the drumming of rain on the roof. When she closed her eyes, raindrops ran like tears down the backs of her eyelids._

 _A high-pitched scream of pain came from upstairs, and rage settled heavily over her father's face. He turned wordlessly and hurried upstairs, taking the steps three at a time._

 _Juvia stumbled down the hallway and out into the rain, breathing unevenly. Water trickled down her shirt and soaked her to the bone, mingling with the empty tears streaking her finally understood that she meant absolutely nothing to the world, and as she became one with the rain, her heart went numb._

* * *

 _"Juvia, meet your new little brother," Juvia's mother whispered. "Isn't he beautiful?"_

 _Juvia stared, perplexed. She didn't understand how this potato-shaped bundle of squirming pink something was supposed to be beautiful. Mama often said she was beautiful – did that mean she looked like that? The little girl screwed up her nose in disgust. If that was the case, she'd rather be ugly._

 _"Why doesn't he look like you or Papa?" Juvia asked. "I look like Mama, but he doesn't look like anyone."_

 _"Jace's mama and papa died in an accident. We're adopting him, so now we're his family. That means Juvia, you're his big sister. You have to take care of him, okay?" Her mother coughed into her arm and then smiled at her. "Jace is your little brother now."_

 _Adopting. Juvia rolled the word around her mouth silently, testing it with her teeth and tongue. Big sister. Little brother. She liked the way they tasted. From now on, she was a big sister. Big sisters took care of their little brothers. Juvia would take care of Jace. That was the way it would be._

* * *

"Juvia, drink this," Porlyusica ordered, holding out a beaker of something steaming and bubbling. It was a strange shade of green, but as Juvia watched, it turned a sickly orange. She eyed it with trepidation.

"Will this cure Juvia?"

Porlyusica grunted noncommittally. When her patient continued to cast frightened glances at the admittedly suspicious concoction, she snapped, "Just drink it, for Mavis' sake!" Bravely, Juvia accepted the beaker and swallowed the peculiar orange liquid. It fizzed going down, but surprisingly it had no flavor. In fact, it didn't have much of an effect at all. It wasn't until ten minutes later that she started feeling vilely nauseous. She nearly stained the crisp white sheets of the bed orange, but Porlyusica had the foresight to shove a bucket at her, and her stomach overturned into the metal pail.

Juvia placed the bucket carefully on the floor and picked up the half-empty glass of water. Once she had rinsed out her mouth, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep. Ten minutes later, her sour-faced doctor shook her awake from her uneasy doze to push another beaker into her hand. This one looked harmless enough – still and clear – but the smell rising from it made her reach for her bucket. "Drink," Porlyusica barked. Juvia pinched her nose and downed it in one gulp, immediately chasing it with the rest of her water. A sickly sweet aftertaste with undertones of bitterness clung to her tongue.

"Can Juvia have more water?" she croaked, holding out the empty glass. Silently, Porlyusica handed her a full one and two square pills. Juvia groaned at the sight of the pink pills.

"Juvia can't take anymore!" she wailed. "Please give Juvia a break!"

"Do you want to live?" Porlyusica asked sharply. "Because the whining that's coming out of your throat is saying that you're ready to give up!"

Somewhere in her heart, Juvia's fear took control. "There's no point!" she shouted back. "Juvia is going to disappear, and there is no one who can save her! Juvia is tired of hoping! How is Juvia supposed to fix crushed hopes if she can't even stand up?"

"Humans are all the same," Porlyusica sneered, turning her back to the girl lying helplessly in bed. "Never willing to try because of their stupid fears. Always so ready to give up. Well, you know what?" The medicinal specialist spun on her heel, her red eyes blazing with fury. "I'm not like you and the rest of your kind. I am not going to give up on you, even if you want to die!"

For an endless moment the ever calm and collected Porlyusica stood, cheeks flushed, chest heaving, before a stunned Juvia. The older woman straightened, tugging the edge of her cloak, and turned away. "Just shut up and let me help you." She picked up a book and flipped the page, searching for another recipe to try.

"Thank you," a tiny voice whispered behind her. "Thank you for believing in Juvia."

In answer, Porlyusica thrust the pills at her again.

 **I'm going to be continuing this whole let's-have-a-peeksie-into-Juvia's-past theme next chapter, so look forward to that. What did you think of the chapter? Good? Anything I should consider? Your feedback is awesome, people, so feel free to leave me a review! Love ya, see you next week!**


	9. Memories

**If you are reading this and it is not yet Sunday, June 28th, 2015, then you are one lucky duck. I'm probably not going to be able to update this Sunday because I'm going on a trip tomorrow and Sunday is the day I get home. I don't think I'll have much writing time over the trip either, so I'm doing an early update this week. I know, I know. I'm a veritable goddess. Yes, thank you, thank you.**

 **That came off as extremely conceited. I apologize; I'm just glad that I managed to get this done. I have packing to do, but I did it! Huffah for me!**

 **Righty-ho. Time to shut up. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 _I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine for the rest of my life. - Conor Oberst_

* * *

"You…abandoned her?" Gray echoed. "Where did you go?" His stomach twisted into knots at the thought of a friendless, lonely, forgotten Juvia sitting at home by herself. "How could you just leave like that?"

Jace stared at the ground. "It was the second hardest thing I've ever done."

"What was the hardest?" Gray asked automatically. Jace's eyes darkened.

"Coming back."

For a moment, Gray tried to imagine if he left Fairy Tail without a second glance. Simply walked away from his friends, his family, his life. Even if it was for their well-being, the pain of leaving behind everything he loved tore into his heart.

And then he imagined returning.

"How did you do it?" he asked. "If I were you, I don't think I could've ever gone back. How did you manage it?"

Jace smiled as though someone had pointed a gun to his head and said, _Do it, or else_. He said nothing, just clapped his hands once.

The river disappeared. It was replaced by a rough wooden table, and the grass under Gray became hard and uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat and glanced around. "Jace…?" Beside him sat a boy, no more than ten years old, slumped limply on the table. Empty beer mugs clustered around him, some tipped on their sides. One was clenched in the boy's fist, still half-full.

"Juvia…" he mumbled, and Gray blinked. The ice-blue hair and dark eyes clicked, and he realized the boy next to him was Jace as a kid. He was in an illusion. But it wasn't a simple illusion. It was a memory.

Jace lifted his chin from the table to take another gulp of beer, the amber liquid spilling onto his chin. Gray reached out to take the tankard away from him, but his hand passed right through it as though it wasn't even there. Jace didn't even notice. "Juvia," he breathed again, and when he blinked, his cheek shone wetly.

A tall, muscular woman approached the table, hands on her hips. "You gonna pay for those, kid?" she demanded. Her voice was rough and deep, like a man's. Gray blinked. Probably because she was a man. Looking around again, he discovered that he was in a tranny bar. Fantastic.

"Shut up," Jace snarled, surging up from his seat unsteadily. Gray was pretty sure the kid was drunk. His eyes were bloodshot and wild, and even though she – he? It? – was at least twice his size, the tranny took a step backward. "I don't wanna hear y'r shit righ' now, so jus' keep y'r mouth shut," he slurred. Yeah, he was definitely wasted out of his mind.

The tranny finally remembered that she could snap Jace in half with one hand and leaned forward. "The only reason you're not dead right now is because you owe me more than I could sell you for on the black market, understand? You might want to watch who you talk to with that filthy little mouth of yours, you little–"

She was cut off when a jet of water struck her squarely between the eyes and sent her flying into the bar, displacing several bar stool-occupants in the process. Gray and Jace gaped at the lithe, pale figure stalking past them, her arm shimmering blue. She pushed the metal tip of her dripping pink umbrella into the tranny's solar plexus, making her gasp and writhe in pain. "The only reason you're not dead right now," she said crisply to the half-conscious tranny, "is because you deserve to be tortured _slowly_ and _painfully_ " – she drew out the words as though they were a delicacy she wanted to savor – "until you're nothing but a pathetic, limp lump of meat begging for your life." She paused to smile coldly, sharp enough to cut a hole in a sheet of metal. "Understand?" As she turned away, she tossed over her shoulder, "You might want to watch who you talk to with that filthy little mouth of yours."

Dimly, Gray still remembered what Juvia had been like when she was in Phantom Lord. Her dark eyes were hollow and cruel, and she never smiled. Her skin was paler somehow, as someone had drained all of the blood out of her body and left the white husk behind. Every aspect of her, every nuance, radiated malice and despair.

Looking at the girl in front of him, Gray thought that the Juvia of Phantom Lord was a sweet, joyful person compared to the girl who had been abandoned by her only friend.

"Juvia," Jace whispered. She stared back at him like one might stare at a stranger who said hello to them on the street. "Juvia, I'm so–" He broke off when she opened the blue purse hanging from her wrist and pulled out a matching wallet. She extracted a thick wad of bills from it and dropped them carelessly on the table. "What are you doing?"

"It's raining," she said, lifting a hand to touch the teru teru bozu hanging from her collar. "If you're going to leave, wait until it stops."

"Juvia, wait," Jace begged, stumbling after her on unstable legs as she headed for the door. His hands shook. "Juvia, let me explain–"

"Juvia is sorry, Jace," she said, turning back to look at him. Her eyes were still empty, her face still expressionless. "Juvia didn't know that you were unhappy being with her." She turned away again. "Juvia only wanted you to be happy."

Just as she reached the door, Jace lunged and tackled her around the waist, sending them both to the sticky bar floor. He buried his face in Juvia's shoulder and held her tightly. "I'm so sorry, Juvia. I messed up."

"Let go," Juvia said.

"I left because I was scared for you. You were so absorbed in the illusions I made for you, I thought one day you just wouldn't come back, and it would be my fault. I was a coward, and I'm so sorry. I love you, Vivi."

Inexplicable anger surged in Gray's stomach. Only the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to the illusion kept him from tearing Jace off of Juvia and punching him in the nose. Well, that, and the fact that he had no idea why he wanted to do it so badly.

Juvia's eyes softened a little, a fraction of the distance disappearing. It was just a fraction, but Gray could see the difference.

"It's okay, Jace. I love you too."

* * *

It took every ounce of Gray's strength not to murder Jace when the illusion faded and vanished. He was back on the riverbank, sitting next present-day Jace. Jace was staring at him thoughtfully. Gray's blood boiled.

"I've never seen someone move around during an illusion before," he said, when Gray did nothing but glare murderously at the burbling water passing by.

"What?" Gray said distractedly. "What did I do?"

Jace pointed at the pile of fabric between them with a badly-hidden smile. Gray felt himself flush – his stripping habit had always been pretty embarrassing, more so when it happened around people not in the guild. And– Yep. He'd taken off his pants too. Thank Mavis his underwear had stayed on.

"Oops," he said weakly, pulling his pants on. Jace chuckled.

"So. What'd you think?"

Fresh anger replaced the stale, half-forgotten grouchiness simmering somewhere in the pit of his stomach. The thought of what she said made him feel nauseous. "Are you two dating or something?"

Jace stared at him. Then he burst out laughing. "Dating…Juvia…?" he gasped. "Are you…for real?"

"I'm missing the joke here," Gray snapped. "What is it?"

Jace leaned casually on Gray's shoulder, catching his breath. "I haven't laughed that hard in ages," he chuckled. "Sorry, it's just, there are so many things wrong with that."

"So tell me," Gray said impatiently. Jace scrutinized his face.

"You really don't know, do you? I thought she'd tell you."

"Tell me what?" Gray exploded. "Are you married to her sister or something? Is she secretly your mother? What is it?"

Jace made a face. "Ew, no. But the first one was kind of close. Juvia is my adoptive older sister."

The only sound was of the river rushing past and the wind in the grass. Overhead, the sun shone brightly, smiling down on the earth.

"What."

"Not only that, but I don't swing that way," Jace continued, his eyes sparkling mischievously. He wasn't disappointed – Gray shot to his feet, his expression a mixture of panic and surprise.

"You're– Seriously?"

Jace grinned, flashing his pearly whites. "One hundred percent serious. Relax, I won't attack you or anything." Gray sank back to the ground, scooting over a foot or two. Jace eyed the distance and smirked. Gray shrugged and crossed his arms.

"Sorry, you just surprised me. So, you're Juvia's gay brother, huh?"

Jace laughed. "That's me. Which is why it's so funny to see you jealous of me."

Gray stared blankly at him. "When did that happen?"

Jace raised an eyebrow. "You looked about ready to tear me limb from limb when you heard Juvia tell me she loves me."

"Well–" Gray paused. "That's because..." He snapped his mouth closed. "It's just that–"

"Go on," Jace pressed, smiling a little. Gray scratched his head uncomfortably. He wasn't entirely sure why he had reacted so violently to those three words. Probably because Juvia was his guild mate, and he was protective of her.

 _But that doesn't really explain it_ , a soft voice whispered in the back of his head. _Why would it bother you if she loves her childhood friend?_

 _"Juvia loves you, Gray-sama."_

"You're lucky, you know?" Gray blurted out. Jace looked surprised. He probably did too. That wasn't what he had meant to say.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah… Um, well, it's just…" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Because, you've got Juvia. My sister… She died. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"It's complicated," Gray said, staring out at the horizon, where the sun was slowly disappearing. It would be dark soon. "But basically, she's gone. Even I don't really know what happened. I have a brother, an adoptive one, and everyone at Fairy Tail, but it's like…" He searched for the right words. He wanted to say this right. "There's this one space that no one else can really fill. She's gone, and the spot she occupied once upon a time is empty. And that's something that never really goes away."

He glanced over at Jace after a minute, surprised by his silence, and blinked. Jace had a hand cupped over his mouth, his eyes staring out past the river. Tears leaked out onto his cheeks, streaking his skin. "Hey, you okay?" Gray asked, a little frantic. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I was just trying to explain–"

"Sorry," Jace said shakily. "I'm fine. It's because I was trying to imagine how it'll be after Juvia's gone, and I just crying. Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out." Gray dug around in his pockets and came up with an old tissue. He handed it to Jace, who smiled weakly and wiped his face.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Gray said, patting Jace's shoulder. "I totally understand. But you know, Juvia's gonna be around for a long time. You don't have to worry about that until…" He trailed off when Jace bit his lip, his eyes shining. "What?" A deep, heavy sense of foreboding settled in the back of his throat, suffocating him. "What am I missing here?"

Jace sniffed and apologized silently to his sister. No matter what she thought she wanted, it was time to give up her secret. Gray deserved – needed – to know.

But it wasn't his place to tell.

"Juvia's staying at Porlyusica's place," he said, standing up. "If you want answers, that's where you'll find them."

Gray stood too, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Thanks," he said. The last light of the day caught the chiseled planes of his face, and Jace almost smiled. His sister had good taste.

"Sure," Jace replied. "Oh, and Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad Juvia has friends like you."

* * *

 **I like this chapter a lot. I got a couple reviews saying people wanted to see more of Jace and Gray talking about the past (which I was planning on anyway) so here you are. Hope you liked it. Oh, yeah, and I guess Jace is gay now. I don't really know how that happened. I just thought it would be cool. And I'm not trying to make Gray seem homophobic or anything, he just strikes me as the kind of guy who would kind of go 'whoa' when someone told him they were gay. Idk, but it's in there now and I don't feel like changing it.**

 **Hmm, what else? The quote doesn't really fit, sorry. It struck me, and I couldn't find a good quote for this chapter, so that happened. Whatever, it's a fantastic quote. Good for you, Conor Oberst (no clue who he actually is).**

 **Remember to review, favorite and follow! I love hearing from all of you!**


	10. Forget Me

**Sorry I didn't update sooner! It's been a relatively busy day for me. Dunno if anyone cares, but the US won the women's World Cup against Japan today. Go US (sorry Japan)! I'm wearing makeup for the first time in forever, and my hair (for once) is cooperating and not getting in my face. It's a good day.**

 **So this chapter is kinda all over the place. I've been having a weird sort of mental block on this and this chapter is the result. Don't judge – I haven't been required to use my brain in like two or three weeks and it's beginning to transform into mush. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

 _This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes_

* * *

Juvia was going to have to kill her brother. Or at least permanently maim him. After all, if it wasn't for him, Gray wouldn't be sitting awkwardly on one of Porlyusica's stumps and staring much too directly at her. Juvia shifted uncomfortably, looking anywhere and everywhere except at the love of her life.

He had showed up ten minutes earlier, hands in his pockets, the picture of a casual visitor. Porlyusica had taken one look at him, heaved a long sigh, and said, "You might as well come in then." The old woman wasn't in the mood to argue pointlessly with someone who was clearly determined to make his way inside.

And that led them to the present. Juvia shifted her weight for the fifth time. "Gray-sama–"

"Mavis, do you have to call me that?" Gray burst out. "We're friends, right? Just call me by my name like any normal friend."

At this, Juvia looked at him levelly, even as joy coursed through her veins. She was pretty sure it was the first time he had acknowledged their relationship as anything more than guild mates. "Juvia does not want to be a 'normal friend' to you, Gray-sama."

He sighed exasperatedly and ran his hand through his hair. "Fine, whatever." They sat in silence, the only sounds being the quiet swish of turning pages. After a full three empty minutes, Porlyusica snapped her book shut. Juvia jumped, startled. She had been focusing intently on the place where a splotchy red stain had taken up residence on the otherwise pristine white sheets. It was from Porlyusica's latest, and in Juvia's humble opinion, most vile concoction, when Juvia had spat out the first sip almost before it touched her tastebuds. Porlyusica force-fed her the rest, and she could still taste the bile that had risen after she swallowed.

"Gray Fullbuster," Porlyusica said. He nodded, a shallow furrow forming between his brows. "You're here." He nodded again, looking even more confused. However, Juvia had spent quite a few consecutive hours with this woman, and she saw with dawning horror where she was leading them. "You're here," Porlyusica repeated, "Which means one of two things."

Juvia shut her eyes tightly and prayed with every fiber of her being. She didn't believe in God or any other divine being, but she prayed anyway.

 _Dear Lord, Buddha-sama, First Master, anyone, please. Please don't let Gray-sama find out. Please, please, please. Please grant this wish._

"Either you know, or you're here for answers," Porlyusica continued, looking straight at Gray. "Now, tell me, which is it?"

 _Please, please, please please pleasepleaseplease._

A warm hand gripped her elbow, dragging her eyes open. Juvia realized her lips had been moving silently with each word and forced them to stop. "Juvia," he said, his voice a low rumble that buzzed in her fading fingertips.

"Gray-sama, Juvia–"

"Tell me what's going on," he interrupted, his tone commanding. But there was a pleading note in his eyes that knocked Juvia off-balance. Never had she seen him so unsure of himself, so hesitant. He looked almost…scared. Afraid that she wouldn't tell him, or maybe afraid that she would.

Juvia lifted her hands from where they were twisted in the sheets to examine them. They were almost entirely gone, only a faint outline and her memory reminding her that they had once been complete, healthy, even pretty hands. She frowned at her transparent fingers. If she squinted, she could almost imagine she could see the particles breaking away and floating off into space, leaving nothing but a hole behind. "Have you ever wondered what would happen if, one day, you simply vanished?" she asked Gray, who was staring in shock at her hands – or rather, through them.

"Juvia, your– You– What–" he choked out, reaching out blindly as if to touch her and reassure himself she was really there. Juvia laid her ghostly fingers over his wrist, making him freeze.

"What do you think would happen?" she pressed softly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why she was so calm. Just before, she had been so panicked, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. "Do you think your friends would look for you, or would they think you had died on a job? Would they wonder if you had decided to leave, or if someone had threatened you?" Her voice dropped lower. "Would they forget about you?"

"No one would forget," Gray said, his voice loud in the muffled silence. "No one would ever forget if one of us suddenly disappeared, Juvia." His dark eyes bored into Juvia's, trying to make her understand. But she shook her head; he was the one who didn't understand.

"They have to forget," she whispered. "All of you have to forget Juvia. The days you knew Juvia will be nothing more than a faraway dream. You won't search. You won't mourn. Everyone in Fairy Tail will smile and laugh and be happy, because that is what Juvia loves most about all of you."

"Why?" Gray asked, his voice strangled. "Why can I see through you?" Juvia held up her palm to the light. Once, the delicate bones of her fingers would have shown through her translucent skin, but now all she saw was bright light and a misty outline of what used to be her hand.

"Water evaporates," she said simply. "When there is nothing to protect it from the open air, all water will disperse and vanish in time. Juvia is no different."

Gray stood so abruptly the stump he was sitting on tipped over. He spun around, turned back, and stared at his hands helplessly. He needed to do something, anything. Restless energy was eating him from the inside out, and the patient calm on Juvia's face was only making it worse. "I have to– You can't just– It's not– Fuck!" He whirled and slammed out of Porlyusica's small house, his mind empty. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what he was doing. The only thought coursing through him was of Juvia's hands. He ran through the clearing and deeper into the woods, not knowing anything but the simple fact that he had to – just had to – save her.

"Somehow, that was just what Juvia expected," the young woman breathed, wondering at herself. How was it possible for someone to be so calm one moment and so broken in the next? Frozen, bitter tears pooled in her eyes, making her bit her lip and hold her breath. She wouldn't cry, wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't. She was done pitying herself. Now it was time for her to be strong; she had to remember what was important.

They must not cry. The faces of her friends – Gajeel, Lucy, Erza, Natsu, Mira, Levy, Wendy, Elfman, Cana, Gray – those faces were meant to smile. Juvia would not change that, no matter what. Fairy Tail was everything to her. Even if it meant they forgot her, even if it meant forgetting herself, she would not hesitate to ensure their happiness.

Her eyes dry, Juvia turned back to the window. The clearing was dark now, and clouds blanketed the silken night sky. She closed her eyes.

 _Please, Mavis, let them forget. Let them be happy._

* * *

Gray bent over, hands on his knees, his breath coming in heavy pants. He didn't know how far he'd run, but it was fully dark by now, clouds hiding the moon and even the stars. He could barely see his hands in front of him. Straightening up, he turned in a circle, straining to see something. Nothing appeared through the black, and he dropped to the ground.

 _Water evaporates._

"Fuck that," he said aloud, a little reassured at the sound of his own voice. "Fuck that. Why should Juvia have to disappear? There's no way I'm gonna sit by and let that happen. Not a chance in fucking hell."

 _What do you think would happen?_

"No, no, no. Fuck no. It's not happening. I won't let it."

 _All of you have to forget Juvia._

"Forget how?' he asked the dark forest hoarsely. "How am I supposed to forget you when you've always been right there?"

 _You won't search. You won't mourn._

"Stop," Gray whispered to the echo of her voice bouncing off the walls of his skull. "This isn't fucking funny, Juvia."

 _Everyone in Fairy Tail will smile and laugh and be happy, because that is what Juvia loves most about all of you._

* * *

A light hand on his shoulder made him look up, an irrational voice in his mind whispering, _Juvia._

Porlyusica's solemn red eyes scowled down at him. "Get up," she said. "We're going back."

He stood slowly, his joints protesting wearily. He stumbled after Porlyusica, squinting until his eyes adjusted to the brightness of her lantern. "When did it start?" he asked.

"About a week ago. She'll be lucky to last another, at this rate. Although, without her legs she can't go off on any more jobs with irresponsible young men." The sour note in Porlyusica's voice was evident. Gray grimaced.

"I never would've agreed if–"

"No," the old woman sighed. "You wouldn't have. But she never would have told you without a push. You ought to be grateful to that brother of hers – it would've taken at least another week for you to find out otherwise." The lantern bobbed along in front of them, illuminating the narrow path. Gray had to focus hard on the ground in front of him to keep from tripping over roots.

"I just don't get it. Why not tell me? Wouldn't it be better if I knew? I could help her." Porlyusica snorted.

"You're dumber than I thought. You ought to know that girl better by now." She stopped and turned to face him, holding the lantern high between them. "She loves you, doesn't she?" Gray nodded slowly. "And she wants to be around you as much as possible." Gray nodded again. "So why would she tell you she's got a problem if she knows that you'd just run off looking for a cure?"

"But what if I found a way to save her?" Gray countered. "Isn't it worth letting me go?"

Porlyusica sighed. "That girl doesn't think there's a point to looking for something that simply isn't there." She turned away and began walking away, leaving Gray slack-jawed and frozen. "I'll leave you behind," Porlyusica said, snapping him out of his reverie. He jogged after her.

"But– You're trying to save her, aren't you?" There had to be a way to fix Juvia. Some way to make her whole again. She couldn't be past saving – she just couldn't. He couldn't picture a Fairy Tail without Juvia. Somehow, she'd snuck in and inserted herself so firmly in his life that it would take an apocalypse to shake her loose. Her presence was as familiar as if he had known her his whole life. Without it, he might lose himself. Nothing would ever be right.

"Trying isn't the same as doing, brat." Frustration and desperation warred on Porlyusica's face as she turned back to glance at him. "I'm _trying_ , but so far nothing is _working_."

* * *

They entered the hollow tree in silence. Porlyusica went straight back to her table, which was strewn with various plants and herbs and stoppered bottles of strange liquids. Gray loitered in the entranceway, sort of afraid to face Juvia after running out earlier.

"She's asleep," Porlyusica said, her back still turned toward him. "She spent all day testing different cures. She won't wake up anytime soon." Gray pondered the hint of softness in her words as he cautiously approached Juvia's bedside. Her eyes closed, she looked so…at peace. Gray couldn't remember the last time he had seen her with that expression when she was awake. Maybe never. But there were still signs of her troubles – faint lines around her mouth and eyes, furrows that had been dug by anxiety and sadness. As he watched, she frowned and turned onto her side. She mumbled something incomprehensible to herself, screwing up her nose like she smelled something bad. Gray cracked a smile. It was almost…cute.

 _…Cute._

No.

No, no, no.

Absolutely not.

 _No._

"You look like someone just told you you're pregnant," Porlyusica remarked dryly, observing from her stool beside the experiment table. Gray closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm just… Thinking."

"She loves you a lot, you know."

"Yeah, I kn– What?" He blinked at the grouchy old woman. She scowled back at him.

"Don't give me 'what'. If you don't know that girl's head-over-heels in love with you a thousand times over, you're thicker than a brick and deaf as a rock. She never stops talking about you. Adding that honorific and everything. It's annoying as hell."

Gray groaned. "You're telling me. I'm the one who gets molested on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure I'd notice even if I were dead. I was just surprised you brought it up."

Porlyusica shrugged carelessly. "I brought it up because I don't think you've gotten it through your thick skull yet, and I don't want you to realize once it's too late. She loves you more than life itself, boy. One of the few redeeming factors of the human race, that kind of love. Annoys the bejeezus out of me."

"I know she loves me," Gray said quietly. "How could I not?"

"How indeed?" Porlyusica muttered irritably. Gray didn't reply. His fingers twisted together unconsciously, and his eyes followed the tangle of Juvia's hair from her scalp to where it rested gently on her shoulder. He listened carefully to the soft sound of her breathing and wondered if he could stop her from vanishing if he just held onto that sound. If he could keep the sound of her life in his head, would it keep her there, whole and real and alive?

He leaned forward onto the bed, letting his hand wander out and find her slender, cool arm, He ran his fingers over the smooth skin, tracing his way down to her misty palms. He stopped at her wrist and held it loosely, caressing the blue veins peeking out from under the pale skin. That was how he fell asleep, almost, but not quite, holding Juvia's crippled hand.

* * *

She smelled like spring rain, cool and a little bit sweet. It was odd, what one noticed about the complete strangers standing in front of you in line for a bagel. Her bright blue hair cascaded in shining waves just past her shoulders, swaying when she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She wore all blue, too – blue dress, blue tights, blue boots, blue hat – but she carried a frilly pink umbrella. No matter how long he examined her, Gray couldn't quite get a read on this girl.

The line moved and the girl stepped forward. Gray followed her, blinking hard. The air around her was distorted – no, that wasn't right. There was something in the air.

It was raining.

A heavy grey raincloud floated above the girl's head, its dark underbelly pregnant with water. It released its load seemingly endlessly on the girl, but she seemed unconcerned. She simply lifted the pink umbrella and opened it above her head, twirling it idly back and forth.

Gray reached out hesitantly to tap her shoulder. There was something familiar about this girl. The rain stung his skin as though it were salt water on an open wound. He flinched, but pushed forward and tapped the girl quickly on the shoulder, withdrawing his hand speedily.

Time slowed as she turned around to face him. Her dark eyes looked into his expectantly, and he almost choked as he inhaled.

He could see through her to the back of the person behind her. She rippled and undulated as though she were a cloud of smoke pressed into human form. She smiled happily at him and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Her lips moved silently again and again.

The low chatter of the cafe fell away and the world became nothing more than endless black. The thought crossed Gray's mind that if there was nothing in outer space except the darkness, that was what it would look like.

"Gray-sama," the girl said lightly, still beaming at him like he was the best thing she'd seen all day. "Gray-sama, Juvia loves you."

 _Juvia._

"Juvia, I'm going to save you, just–" Gray cut off to watch in silent horror as tendrils curled away from Juvia's ethereal body, floating away and evaporating into nothing. "Wait," he tried to shout, but it came out as more of a strangled whisper. "Juvia, hang on a little longer, I'll–"

"Gray-sama, Juvia loves you." She smiled even wider, reaching out to touch Gray's hand. Her fingers passed through his like she wasn't there, and still she smiled. "You have to forget now."

"No."

"Gray-sama, please forget Juvia. Juvia wants you to be happy without her. Please." The incessant smile bored into his eyes, searing his retinas and blinding him until all he could see was burning white. "Gray-sama."

He groped for something, anything to hold onto. The light was making him dizzy and more than a little nauseous, and it felt like the ground beneath his feet was shaking. "Gray-sama!"

A flash of cold and wet wiped the strange white world away and sent Gray shooting to his feet, spluttering and coughing. "What…the hell?" he gasped, wiping water out of his eyes. Something metal and hard thwacked him upside the head, making him stagger backwards. He knocked into the stump he'd been sitting on and tumbled to the floor. He lay there spreadeagled, wondering what sort of nasty karma this was.

"Awake yet?" an all-too-familiar voice growled from somewhere above him, and he opened his eyes to see Porlyusica standing over him, wielding a metal bucket.

"Unfortunately," Gray replied sourly. "What kind of wake-up call was that? Couldn't you have called my name or something?" Porlyusica snorted.

"Call his name, he says. We tried that, as well as half a dozen other things. Do you have a stomach of steel or something? Most people would wake up after being force-fed slug pellets."

Gray shuddered. That explained the nausea. "You're like a walking safety hazard or something. I don't even want to know what slug pellets are, let alone what else you did to me."

"Good morning, Gray-sama," Juvia's voice said softly. Gray paused in his efforts to drag himself onto his feet.

"Um… Yeah. Hi." He averted his eyes from the bed, unsure of how he was supposed to face Juvia after his whole freak out the night before. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Time for you to get off your ass and do something useful," Porlyusica grumbled, setting her bucket down and moving back to her table. It was even more of a mess than it had been the last time he had seen it, and Gray wondered if she had slept at all.

"Um… Juvia would like to ask you for a favor, Gray-sama." He glanced up at Juvia, who was sitting up and looking out the window, facing away from him. "Would you go to the guild and tell everyone what's going on? Juvia would like them to know."

Gray frowned and finished getting up. "Yeah, but… Are you sure you want to tell them? You were so adamant about keeping it a secret from everyone possible before." She shook her head quickly, never looking away from the clearing beyond the glass.

"Juvia is sure. She is ready to tell them now, only…" She sighed. "Juvia's legs have stopped working, so she can't go herself. Which is why Juvia is asking Gray-sama."

Gray shoved his hands into the depths of his pockets. "I'll tell them for you. But you have to promise me something."

Juvia turned to face him, her brows drawn together. "What is it?" Gray took a long, deep breath.

"Swear you won't go anywhere while I'm gone."

Juvia smiled sadly. "Juvia can't go anywhere anymore, Gray-sama. But Juvia promises."

Gray nodded grimly once before slipping out the door. Juvia watched him leave the clearing, his shoulders hunched against the wind, and pondered the meaning of the simple promise.

 _Swear you won't go anywhere while I'm gone._

She gasped and buried her face in her hands, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

He hadn't meant getting up and leaving.

"Juvia promises," she whispered, bending forward so her nose touched the blanket. It smelled like old fabric and salt. "Juvia promises she won't disappear while Gray-sama isn't here."

* * *

Gray paused outside the entrance to the guild hall. She'd said she was ready, but…

But.

He didn't know if he was ready.

Saying the words out loud would make it real in a way that Juvia's transparent fingers hadn't.

He didn't want it to be real.

"You're the one who wanted to know," he reminded himself aloud, gritting his teeth. "No turning back now." Gray stepped forward and pushed through the wide wooden doors, just in time to get hit by Natsu, who came flying at him at the speed of sound. They toppled to the ground in a mess of flailing limbs and curses. "You asshole," Gray growled, shoving Natsu off his stomach.

"Haha, my bad, Gray," Natsu chuckled apologetically. "I was fighting with Gajeel and he hit me harder than I thought he would." This said, he whirled to shout at the culprit. "Hey bastard! I'm gonna get you back for that!" He tried to scramble to his feet, but Gray grabbed him by his scarf and pulled him back to the floor. "What, you wanna fight too?" Natsu demanded, a bright glow in his cheeks.

"No, idiot," Gray grumbled, getting to his feet and brushing himself off. "I have something to talk to everyone about. It's important."

Natsu recognized the serious gleam in Gray's eyes and stood too. "Okay, I'm listening."

Gray closed his eyes and drew in a lungful of air.

Ready or not, it was time to tell them.

After all, it would be a lot harder to save Juvia by himself.

* * *

 **So thoughts? Review and I'll love you for eternity :) Well, that's a lie. I'll love you for about ten seconds (maybe even a whole minute if you review real good) before my thoughts move on to other things. But I really appreciate the reviews!**


	11. Hope

**So I was actually going to post this yesterday, but then the server died or something and then I had something to do and by the time I got home I really didn't feel like redoing all this. But at least I'm not updating late or anything. Speaking of updates, there'll probably only be something like five more chapters, give or take one or two. I'm not planning on making this as long as Just Friends.**

 **Oh, and one last note: there are two quotes this time, because I really couldn't decide. So now that all that's been said, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 _We women love longest even when all hope is gone. - Jane Austen_

 _Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity. - Robert Green Ingersoll_

* * *

Gray had to say, he'd expected yelling. It had been his reaction, after all – shouting was easier than trying to process the fact that someone he cared about was disappearing before his very eyes. It was also easier than trying to process the fact that Juvia was someone he cared about. Of course, she was his guild mate, and everyone in the guild was like family, but everyone has family members they simply don't like. And generally, stalkers are not one's favorite people.

But Juvia was different. Juvia wasn't just that creeper that followed him everywhere and tried to get him to look at her naked (it happened more frequently than Gray liked to admit). Juvia was just…Juvia. And that made it all the more unbearable.

So Gray hadn't expected the entire group of people around him (some of the noisiest people he knew) to go silent and stare at their feet as if wondering whether they too would start to vanish. He nudged Natsu and got no reaction. "Um… Lucy?" he tried. Nothing.

"How long?" someone asked. Gray jumped, startled.

"What?"

Levy looked him directly in the eye and repeated, "How long until she's completely gone?"

"Porlyusica said at this rate, another week at most." Gray looked around the circle. "I need your help to find a way to save her."

"Of course we'll help," Lucy said, her gaze still focused on her shoes. "I just…can't believe she didn't tell us." Natsu and Wendy nodded their agreement. "I mean, we're her friends, right? Aren't you supposed to tell your friends about this sort of stuff?"

"She wouldn't," Gajeel said abruptly. "Juvia's never been like that. She keeps the important stuff to herself." He shrugged carelessly, even though the expression on his face was anything but disinterested. With his pierced, hairless brows drawn together, he resembled a very frightening, very angry thundercloud. "Being in a dark guild like Phantom'll do that to you."

But for Juvia, Gray was sure, it had started long before she joined Phantom Lord. It wasn't that she didn't like to confide in her friends – she'd never really had friends to confide in.

"Do you think I could do something with my healing magic?" Wendy asked, her eyes lighting up. Gray frowned doubtfully.

"Maybe, but I think Porlyusica would have already asked you to help if she thought you could." The little girl deflated, and Natsu patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.

"We'll figure it out, Wendy. Don't worry, I know you'll be able to help Juvia." His brows drew together suddenly, and Gray could almost see the lightbulb go off above his head. "Gray, what if you freeze her somehow with your ice magic? Like, make her outermost layer into ice." The whole group seemed to brighten at this suggestion, but Gray was already shaking his head.

"I can't freeze people. I could stick her in a block of ice, but that would melt pretty fast and I'm not sure she'd be able to survive anyway, since there'd be no oxygen. It wouldn't work out." He sighed. "I think the best plan is to travel around to as many towns as we can and see if we can find out anything about this. I bet there are other people this has happened to that could help us." Everyone nodded and slowly the cluster dispersed as they pulled away in twos and threes to discuss the search. Gray was about to follow Lucy and Natsu when a small hand tugged on his wrist. He glanced down at Levy. "What?"

She glanced around, then whispered, "I think I know of a way to save her."

Gray blinked. "Why didn't you say so before? Hey–" He raised his voice to call the others back, but Levy clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Wait!" she hissed frantically. "Just hold on a second." She released him and sighed heavily, pulling an enormous leather-bound tome from her bag. "Remember how I was telling you about this book before?" Gray squinted at the elaborate squiggles and patterns that wrapped around the spine and the cover.

"No." Levy heaved another sigh of frustration.

"Well, I did. Pay attention now, okay?" Gray nodded, mystified. "This book seems to be some sort of record of a certain tribe's magical practices and ceremonies." Gray fought to hold back a yawn. All he got was that it was really old and full of boring ceremonial crap. He didn't get what that had to with Juvia.

Levy noticed his wandering attention and pinched his arm. Hard. "Ow!" Gray hissed, swatting away her hand. "What was that for?"

"I told you to pay attention," she huffed. "Anyway, I'm not really sure yet what sort of ceremonies they were, but the important part is what the tribe called themselves." She opened the book, flipping pages carefully until she found the one she wanted. "There, look." She circled a collection of squiggles and dots with her fingertip, glancing at Gray impatiently. He nodded obediently like he understood. "In their language, it would have been pronounced something like–" She broke off to make a strange series of indistinguishable guttural noises. "Roughly translated, it means People of the Rain."

Finally understanding dawned. "So you think they were a tribe of people like Juvia," Gray said. Levy snapped the book shut, sending up a cloud of dust which she expertly avoided.

"Right, but I don't have any proof yet. This is one of the hardest things I've ever translated – their language was extremely complex. In fact," she added, her tone brightening and rapidly gaining excitement, "They may have been the first tribe in Fiore to create their own written and spoken language. You might even say they were–" Now it was Gray's turn to cover Levy's mouth.

"I get it, Levy. So that's why you didn't want to tell the others." She nodded.

"It very well could be completely unrelated. I don't want to get everyone's hopes up. But, Gray, in case it does have something to do with Juvia's condition, I want you to do me a favor."

"Anything," he replied immediately. "Just say the word."

"I got this book in a town to the north called Oak. I need you to go there and investigate this tribe and any possibility of a cure for Juvia."

Gray frowned. _A town called Oak…_ He blinked. "Wasn't Oak…" Levy cocked her head to one side.

"Wasn't Oak what?" He shook his head.

"It was on the tip of my tongue, but I forget now. It just sounds familiar. Anyway, I'm on it. Can I get there by train?" Levy nodded.

"It's about half a day by train from Magnolia. You should be there by tonight if you catch the train leaving at noon."

"Alright, thanks. So, just to make sure, I should ask around about that People of the Rain tribe and about Juvia's condition, right?"

Levy nodded again. "Actually, I think I'm going to go with you. There's something I want to confirm."

"You should stay here," Gray argued. "You need to work on translating that book, not running all over Fiore looking for crap. That's my job." Levy scrunched up her nose at him.

"And who says I can't do both? I don't trust you to be able to find this stuff out for me, so I have to do it myself. And that means I'm coming with you." They scowled at each other for a moment before Levy added, "You can't stop me from going, you know. I can go with or without you, but in the end I'm still going."

"Fine," Gray growled. "But whatever you're confirming better be important. Juvia's life is at stake here, and I'm not just saying that to be dramatic. If it turns out this textbook of yours could save her, but you were too busy doing other shit to translate it, I won't forgive you."

"What's this about not forgiving the shrimp?" Gajeel rumbled threateningly, leaning over Levy's spiky blue head.

"Hey!" she snapped. "I'm not a shrimp, and I'm not your elbow-rest either! Get off!"

She was ignored.

"It's nothing," Gray muttered, turning away. "Levy, if you're getting a ticket, you might want to hurry up. It's almost time for the train to leave."

"Hold it!" Gajeel called, grabbing his shoulder. "Where are you two going?"

"Oak," Gray replied. "And I'm kind of in a hurry. Let go." Gajeel released him and turned to Levy.

"What was he talking about before?"

Gray didn't hear what she said in response, because he was already leaving the guild. He was going to have to rush if he wanted to make it in time.

* * *

Juvia sighed, not noticing the way Porlyusica's long, thin fingers twitched. She wanted to get up. Her skin itched, like something was crawling across her shoulders and down her arms. She blinked, and then blinked again.

The sun was shining outside. _Blink._ She wanted to go outside and lie in the sun. _Blink._ She leaned toward the window, reaching out to touch the glass. _Blink._ Her hands weren't there. She couldn't feel anything through her phantom fingertips. _Blink._

Juvia sighed, not noticing Porlyusica's sharp intake of breath. She wanted to do something. Play a game, talk to someone, write a poem… Anything to make time pass a little faster. Anything to make Gray show up a little sooner.

Juvia sighed.

The only thing that saved her from Porlyusica's wrath was the door as it flew open. Gray walked in, shirtless and sweaty. "Hey."

Juvia flung herself off the bed, forgetting in her joy that she couldn't use her legs. She tumbled to the floor, sliding to a stop by Gray's feet. Slightly embarrassed, she avoided Gray's eyes as she looked up. "Welcome back, Gray-sama!"

This time, Gray was the one to heave a sigh. "Honestly, you… Think a little before you go throwing yourself all over the place, will you?" He reached down and, before Juvia could react, lifted her from the floor by her arms, supporting her with one arm under her thighs.

"G-Gray-sama?" Juvia squeaked, too surprised to take advantage of the situation. Gray grinned at her, trying not to notice that their faces were closer than he'd expected. He was sort of enjoying the faint blush that painted her cheekbones. He so rarely got to see her being anything but completely obsessed with him. Suddenly Juvia squirmed and almost lost her balance, falling forward and catching herself on Gray's shoulders.

She smelled like spring rain, cool and a little bit sweet. Gray frowned. It was the exact same scent as in his dream. Come to think of it, was it normal to have senses besides sight in a dream? He wasn't sure.

Juvia, meanwhile, was about to start hyperventilating. Her nose hovered centimeters from Gray's smooth, creamy skin, and she wondered if he would taste as delicious as he smelled. It was a tantalizing combination of sweat and something uniquely Gray, minty and bittersweet.

"Juvia," Gray said very slowly in her ear, sending shivers down her spine, "Did you just…lick me?"

Juvia blinked. "No…?" she lied hesitantly. Gray grunted and unceremoniously tossed her onto the bed, breaking the moment. Juvia pouted. "That hurt, Gray-sama!" He ignored her and turned to Porlyusica, who was pointedly bent over her worktable, not paying attention to either of them.

"I'm going out of town for a few days to dig up some information," he said.

Juvia's playful pout faded. This was exactly why she didn't want to tell him. "Didn't Juvia tell you already? There's nothing you can do. Going won't change anything; staying won't change anything. Crying won't fix it. Shouting won't make it stop. No matter what you do, no matter who you ask or beg or threaten for information, there's point, because _there is no cure_."

"How are you so sure?" Gray shot back, undeterred. "You haven't looked everywhere yet! You haven't even bothered to do anything to save yourself, Juvia, because you don't think you can! You won't even let the people who care about you look for a way to help you! Is that what you really want? You want everyone to sit by and let you go just like that, without doing anything to save you? That's not fucking _fair_!"

For an endless moment, Juvia was silent. Her voice was steady when she asked, "Gray-sama, what is hope?"

"What?"

"What does the word 'hope' mean to you?" She paused as if waiting for an answer, but when none came, she continued, "To Juvia, hope is only a beautiful, wonderful lie."

"I don't get it," Gray snapped. "Juvia, you're not making sense. Listen–"

"Gray, you're the one not listening. Be quiet and try to understand." Porlyusica's voice was soft, but it echoed in Gray's ears.

"But–"

"Juvia has looked," the delicate figure sprawled on the bed murmured, interrupting Gray's protests. "Juvia has been looking since she was young, ever since she found out about her condition. Juvia has looked everywhere." She drew herself up into a sitting position and raised her clear dark eyes to meet Gray's. "Gray-sama, please believe that Juvia has tried everything and been disappointed every time. Hope is the worst traitor Juvia has ever met." She gave a soft, bitter laugh. "Hope is the reason Juvia refuses to think about a cure. Because hope _isn't_ fair. Because in the end, hope will be what breaks your soul."

Her voice was very, very quiet, nothing more than a light breath, as she said, "Juvia doesn't want to see Gray-sama hope."

* * *

"I'm still going."

* * *

"Juvia knows."

* * *

Porlyusica was beginning to wonder how much longer the two would continue to stare each other down and if she would have to get involved when the door to her home opened for the second time that day. Jace stood on the doorstep, glancing around cautiously. His eyes widened when he spotted Porlyusica (the memories of the day before were still very fresh in his mind).

"Um, good morning," he said. She nodded, waving him in silently. He stepped in and saw Gray and Juvia locking eyes. Neither of them seemed to have even registered his entrance. Porlyusica approached Jace, her usual scowl in place.

"Good morning," she intoned. "I assume you're here to visit your sister." When he nodded hesitantly, she snapped over her shoulder, "Juvia! Your brother's here!"

Juvia blinked hard and looked at the pair standing by the door. "Jace!" she exclaimed. "You came to visit me?"

"Yeah," he said with a gentle smile. "But it looks like Gray got here before me." At that, the ice mage turned away.

"I'm leaving. I have a train to catch."

"Gray-sama!" Juvia called as he moved towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Oak," he replied, glancing over his shoulder. "Why?" The stillness in Juvia's expression was almost frightening. Out of the corner of his eye, Gray noticed Jace looked like Gray had just announced he was off on quick journey to Hell.

"Jace," Juvia said slowly, "Would you please go with him?" Gray frowned, but Jace only nodded.

"Yeah. I'll take him."

Without another word, Jace grabbed Gray's wrist and dragged him out of the tree. "Wait, what? Why are you coming too? What the hell was that all about?"

Jace didn't make a sound until they had bought tickets and caught the train (just barely). "Who told you about Oak?"

Gray cocked an eyebrow, thoroughly irritated. "No one told me anything about the place. Levy said there might be something important there, so I said I'd check it out."

"It's a waste of time," Jace snapped. "Don't you think we would have started looking there?"

Gray blinked, startled. "Well, I don't know much about the place, except Levy got some sorta book there that might have some clues. I kinda figured most people wouldn't be able to translate that thing, so I didn't think you would've known about it."

Jace stared at him for a moment before asking, "You mean you didn't know Juvia and I grew up there?"

Gray stared back. "Really? You did?" Jace sighed and leaned back against the seat, closing his eyes.

"Sorry about that. Home is…a sensitive topic." Gray didn't respond. He was trying to remember why Oak sounded so familiar. He was sure Juvia had never mentioned her hometown to him or anyone else while he was in earshot. But for some reason, it still felt connected to her.

"Is there something else I'm missing?" he asked Jace, who cracked one eye to peer at him. "Like… I don't know, I just get the feeling there's more to this place than being the town you grew up in." Jace examined Gray's shoes.

"Oak doesn't have an official town guild like Magnolia does," he said, never taking his eyes off the floor. His white-blue hair fell down over his forehead and tangled in his lashes. "But a few years ago, there was a dark guild that had a base there."

"Phantom Lord," Gray filled in quietly. "That's why the name of the town was so familiar."

"Juvia joined when she turned fifteen," Jace said. "Six months after she brought me home. I just woke up one day and she said, ' _I'm joining Phantom Lord today_.' I didn't know what to say to her, or how I was supposed to react. I ended up just staring at her like an idiot until she left the room."

"Why did she join?"

"Money," Jace answered simply. "We needed the cash to pay for my mom's medication. We weren't poor or anything, but the stuff was killer expensive, and we couldn't afford it if my dad was the only one working. But after she joined, she just…changed. Something about that place made her empty and cold, and it was like she wasn't Juvia anymore. She barely talked to me, and she acted like our parents didn't exist. She came home less and less, and then I started hearing stuff about the Element Four. It was honestly kind of scary."

"But then she joined Fairy Tail, and now she's happy, right?" Gray hadn't meant his statement to be a question, but suddenly he wanted reassurance. Was Juvia happy? "I mean, she's dy–" He bit his lip. "Disappearing." That would certainly be enough to depress him.

Jace gave a short bark of laughter. "Well, I guess you could say the whole reason she's evaporating is because she's happy. Did she tell you the reason this is happening?" Gray shook his head. As Jace explained, his eyes widened and his fingers curled into a fist. His nails dug into his palm, forming deep crescent moon-shaped indents in his skin.

"That's crazy," Gray growled. "What kind of a sick curse is that? It's like God is telling her she's not allowed to be happy!"

"I know how you feel," Jace said, "But calm down a little, okay? You're turning the train into a freezer." Gray realized he could see his breath, and Jace had his arms crossed tightly over his chest as if to ward off the cold. Ice crystals crackled as they formed on the edges of the windows. With a conscious effort, he halted the flow of cold seeping from his body.

"Sorry," he managed. "I don't usually do that." Jace blew into his cupped hands and smiled at Gray.

"Nah, it's fine. Actually, I'm glad you got mad for Juvia. Proves you care a lot about her." He glanced out the window at the grassy flatlands rushing past and turned back to Gray. "So, you said you have an adopted brother, right? What's he like?"

"Lyon? He's…" Gray paused. "He's pretty crazy. He's one of the stronger members of Lamia Scale. Oh, and… He's head over heels for your sister," Gray finished with a grimace. Jace stared at him, his eyes wider than Gray had thought physically possible.

"Someone likes my nutball of an older sister?" Gray laughed.

"Believe it or not, he really does. Maybe because she's never stalked him or tried to flash him or anything. Or maybe it's because he's equally insane." He exhaled, smiling. "He and I were both students of the same woman when we were kids. We were both orphans, and Ur was like our mother. So naturally, we were 'brothers'." Jace leaned forward, interest in his eyes.

"So why'd you two join different guilds? Did you get into some sort of argument or something?" When Gray's expression clouded over, he held up his hands. "Oh, my bad. You don't have to answer if it's a touchy subject–"

"No, it's fine," Gray said, forcing a smile. "See, we parted ways after Ur died. He resented me for a long time after because he thought it was my fault. Well, I suppose he wasn't really wrong." Gray glanced up at Jace, who looked shaken. "Want to know?"

"Only if you don't mind telling," Jace said softly.

"Before I met Ur, the town I lived in was attacked by Deliora, a demon from the book of Zeref. You've heard of it, right?" Jace nodded. "My parents were killed along with the rest of the people living there and the town was destroyed. I always hated how powerless I was. And I despised that demon more than anything else for taking away my family. So when I heard that Deliora had appeared in a town close to where Ur, Lyon and I were living in the mountains, the sky falling couldn't have stopped me from going. It was suicide, of course – I was just an inexperienced kid trying to fight one of Zeref's demons. Ur tried to stop me, but I wouldn't listen. So she followed me." Gray stared blankly out the window, unseeing. "Long story short, she sacrificed herself to save our lives by using a forbidden ice make technique that transformed her body into an indestructible ice block that imprisoned Deliora. But Lyon didn't know that was what happened. He thought she simply died. So he blamed me for years after that, and honestly, I blamed myself. Anyway, we met again by coincidence and eventually managed to sort everything out."

"Wow," Jace breathed. "That's…intense."

"You could say that," Gray agreed. "Anyway, he ended up joining Lamia with a couple of his friends. I see him once in a while on jobs or when we decide to meet up." He stretched his hands toward the ceiling of the train, rolling his shoulders until he heard a satisfying pop. "Been a while since I told anyone that story. What do you want to do now? I'd nap, but I think I'm too keyed up to be able to sleep right now." It was true; he was practically bouncing in place. His fingers tapped out an erratic rhythm on his knees, his heels knocking on the floor in time.

"Want to play a game?" Jace suggested. "Like hangman or something."

Gray grinned. "You're on. But we don't have any paper. Or anything to write with."

"Please," Jace scoffed. "Just watch." He twisted in his seat to face the person sitting behind him and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, clearly surprised. Jace flashed a thousand-watt smile at her. "Sorry to bother you, but would you happen to have any paper and something to write with? My friend and I are bored, so we were going to play a game."

She nodded eagerly, spiky hair bobbing. "Of course! Just a second." Gray rolled his eyes when Jace turned back around, a notebook and pen in hand.

"You are unbelievable."

A smug smile spread across Jace's face. "Why, thank you."

They ended up playing hangman for three hours. It was starting to get dark by the time Gray finally managed to figure out that the word Jace had chosen was pshaw, and the stars came out while he attempted to confirm that it really was a word.

"I'm telling you, no matter how many people you ask, no one's going to have a dictionary on hand," Jace said, amusement evident in his voice.

"I haven't asked everyone in this car yet," he growled, stalking past Jace to the seat behind him. "Hey, do you have a dictionary with you?"

The girl Jace had borrowed paper from looked up from the thick book she was reading with a smile. "Sure, hang– Gray?"

Gray groaned. "Of course it's you. Normal people don't bring dictionaries with them on the train." Levy scowled.

"That's rude. Do you want to borrow it or not?"

"It'll probably be faster to ask you. Is 'pshaw' a word?"

Levy shrugged. "Of course. It's an exclamation that expresses contempt or impatience. It can also be used as a verb. Why do you ask?"

"Pshaw," Gray spat, disgusted. "I don't believe it." A sudden movement in his peripheral vision had him turning to see a slumped, pathetic lump of black fabric in the corner of the seat facing Levy's. "Is that…Gajeel?" Levy sighed.

"Unfortunately. He's as bad as Natsu with traveling."

"Suckers," Gray snickered. This wasn't the first time he had been extremely thankful for his travel-safe brand of magic.

The loudspeaker crackled and a female voice announced, "Next stop, Oak station. Next stop, Oak station."

As the train began to slow, Gray gritted his teeth against the surge of anxiety flooding his mind. What was he going to do if he couldn't find a way to at least slow down the process? What was he supposed to do if he couldn't save Juvia, and she vanished? What if he hoped, and that hope let him down?

Screw hope, he decided. He wasn't going to hope, because he didn't need it. He was going to find a way to save Juvia, whether hope liked it or not.

* * *

 **Screw hope indeed. I don't really know where that little nugget of wisdom came from, but you're welcome. Oh, btw, veracity means truthfulness. And in case anyone was wondering, 'pshaw' really is a word. Google says so (and so does autocorrect). Idk if anyone noticed, but there was a lot of sighing in this chapter. Like, _a lot_ a lot. So if you were one of the people who didn't notice my sloppiness, please pretend I never mentioned it and go on your ignorant, blissful way (ignorant as in ignorance is bliss, not ignorant as in stupid). If you noticed and were like, _question mark_ , I apologize. That was sloppy of me. And no, I'm not going to fix it, because I'm sloppy _and_ lazy, and that's the way I like it. Well, maybe not the sloppy part, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it. xP**

 **Remember to review, follow and favorite! I will send you a telepathic thank-you note. They light up and everything.**


	12. Meet the Loxars

**Don't kill me. I have a valid excuse for this pathetic chapter. I have been killer busy for the past week, and I'm going to be killer busy the rest of this one. I kind of doubt my update will be on time next Sunday. 6 relatives in my house + summer campx2 =NO TIME FOR ANYTHING. That's why this chapter is short as well as late. I'll do my best to be on time this Sunday.**

* * *

 _The reason I always try to meet and know the parents better is because it helps me forgive their children. - Louis Johannot_

* * *

"So… Why are we here, exactly?" Gray stared at the plain blue-painted door of the small white house, bewildered. Jace had led them through the streets of Oak, refusing to tell them where they were going and why, only repeating that he had something to do.

Jace looked vaguely constipated as he reached out to ring the doorbell. "I need to talk to someone," he mumbled, dropping his hand. His arm flopped to hang loosely by his side. It sort of reminded Gray of one of Happy's raw fish. Behind them, Gajeel grunted impatiently, and Levy elbowed him in the ribs.

They waited a full minute before Jace rang the doorbell again. Thirty seconds later, he pressed the button again and held it for a long moment. Ten seconds after that, he jabbed the bell in rapid succession until the a loud click sounded from somewhere behind the door. He let his hand fall, and waited. Slowly, the blue door creaked open just enough for a thin, balding man with chunky glasses and pasty skin to peer out. His watery eyes widened a fraction when he saw Jace. "What are you doing here? I thought you went to see Juvia."

Jace stepped forward and put a hand on the door, pushing it open farther. "We need to talk, Dad."

Gray blinked. His head tilted to one side, and then the other. His gaze flicked back and forth between the man and Jace until he was thoroughly dizzy. "No way," he mumbled. "No freaking way."

"Dude," Gajeel muttered, "He looks nothing like Juvia. Like, at all. Except they're both pale as ghosts."

Levy stepped forward bravely. "Hello, Mr. Loxar," she said cheerfully. "We're guildmates of Juvia's. It's a pleasure to meet you." Juvia's father glanced down at her and then looked back at Jace as though she had never spoken.

"Whatever it is, you'll have to make it quick. Rose is having a hard time of it right now." He adjusted his glasses nervously. "Your friends–" He said the word like one might say, 'your sweaty gym socks'– "Will have to wait outside."

Jace opened his mouth, but Gray was faster. He stepped calmly past Jace, he leaned down so his eyes were inches from the shorter man's thick glasses. His pale blue eyes looked blurry and huge through the lenses. "Tell me something, old man," he said softly.

"I'm not afraid of you, you hooligan!" Juvia's biological father declared loudly. "You guild members are nothing but trouble! Especially the ones from that Fairy Tail–" The wall of the house shook when Gray's fist slammed into it, barely missing the right side of the older man's face. The wood beneath his hand cracked and splintered.

"Let me rephrase," Gray said silkily. "Are you left-handed or right-handed?"

"R-right-handed," Juvia's father managed shakily.

"I see. So you must like your right hand quite a lot. You use it frequently, don't you?" He leaned even closer. "You wouldn't want anything to happen to that precious hand of yours, would you?" A tiny rodent-like squeak of terror escaped the other man's mouth. Gray grinned slowly, but the fierce expression disappeared quickly. "Now tell me this – when's the last time you talked to your daughter?"

"Eh? Ah, well, um… That is…" Juvia's father struggled as he attempted to remember, or perhaps to decide whether or not to lie. "I– I can't quite remember…"

"She's dying," Gray snapped. "And here you are, telling your son that he better make it snappy if he wants to talk to you about something important, because your wife is feeling sick. Is that right?"

"My wife is extremely ill! I won't permit strangers to come to my house and guilt me into letting them inside. My wife is very fragile, and your very presence could send her into a fit–"

"Oh, stuff it, old man," Levy snapped. "Gray just said Juvia is dying. Do you even have ears, or is it that you're so busy listening to your own pompous self that you can't spare five minutes of your life to worry about your only daughter?" The man was clearly taken aback. Levy drew herself up to her full five feet two inches and puffed out her chest. The ends of her hair quivered with anger. "Dig the clay out of your ears and listen closely, because I'm going to say something important now and if you don't hear every fucking word I say, so help me God, I will get this metalhead–" She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Gajeel, who grinned and licked his lips– "to tear you limb from fucking limb. Understand?" Juvia's father nodded frantically. "Your daughter's body is evaporating. In about a week, she will be completely gone. You're aware that this has always been a possibility?"

"Yes," he whimpered. "We've always known. We never kept it from Juvia, either. But there's no way to stop it–"

"Shut up. I didn't ask. Does the phrase 'People of the Rain' mean anything to you?" Gray glanced sharply at Levy. She was staring directly into the eyes of the pathetic man before her, unwavering and unafraid. "Does it?" He shook his head. "Have you ever heard of or met a man named Howard Riedel?" He began to shake his head again and then paused. "Well?" Levy prompted.

"The name sounds familiar, but I can't think where– No, I can!" he exclaimed quickly when Levy's normally friendly eyes narrowed dangerously. "He came to our house years ago, when Juvia was still a small child."

"What did he want?"

"I don't remember, exactly… He said he was a witch doctor, and that he had heard of Juvia's condition. He said he could cure her."

"What?" Gray exploded, jerking forward. "What do you mean? Explain yourself!"

"Cool it," Gajeel growled, grabbing Gray by the arm and pulling him backward. "If he could have really cured her, we wouldn't be here right now. The guy was a quack."

"No," Jace said softly. "Not exactly." All of them turned to stare at him. "See, Juvia didn't always have the rain to protect her. About a year after she was born, she started to evaporate. I've heard this story more times than I can count. Mom and Dad looked everywhere, took her to every doctor in the area. They put up a job on the Phantom Lord board, and even begged traveling mages to take a look at her. But no one could do anything. One mage said that she had seen her friend disappear before her eyes the very same way, and that there had been nothing anyone could do about it. My parents were giving up hope fast, and on the day Juvia was about to vanish completely, Howard Riedel showed up."

When Jace stopped talking, Levy prompted, "And then? What happened after? What did he do?"

"I don't know," Jace said. "The only ones who know what happened are Riedel and my mom. Dad left the room."

Gray squared his shoulders. "That settles it, then. We're going in."

"I won't allow it!"

"Dad, move aside," Jace commanded gently. "This is for Juvia's sake. Please let us talk to Mom." The short man crossed his arms and did his best to look intimidating.

"I will not endanger my wife so these strangers can try to do the impossible! You all must leave now!"

Gray grimaced when the door flew backwards into the man's face, knocking him off his feet and sending him tumbling down the hallway behind him. The door itself swung crazily on one hinge, the other one having been torn off the doorjamb with the force of Gajeel's kick.

The iron dragon slayer grunted and pushed through the doorway into the dim house. "Damn old fucker. No wonder Juvia turned out so weird."

Jace sighed and followed suit, stepping carefully over the prostrate body of his father, muttering, "He was just asking for that one. I can't even feel sorry for him." Gray and Levy exchanged looks and then they too walked into the house. Gray really hoped they hadn't just killed Juvia's father.

Gray's first impression of the place was that it was dusty beyond belief. It was hard to imagine people really lived there. Even the floors were carpeted in a thin layer of dust. Levy coughed as she walked through the kitchen. "This place is disgusting," she complained. "Haven't they ever heard of cleaning?"

"Dad's never cared about that stuff," Jace explained from the head of their exploration party. "He's never really been able to focus on anything but my mother's illness."

Gajeel shrugged. "I don't really see what's wrong with it. It's not like you can't live here. A little bit of dust never killed anyone."

Levy rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"The stairs are this way," Jace called, disappearing down a hallway. Gray, Levy and Gajeel trailed after him, the latter two bickering quietly. The stairs groaned as Gray climbed them, reminding him of the way the floorboards of the house he lived in with Ur and Lyon had always creaked ominously in the summer. The sound made him a little sad.

As they approached the room that held the answers to saving Juvia, Levy and Gajeel's voices grew even more hushed and then stopped altogether. Gray's stomach churned uncomfortably, and anxiety began setting in with a vengeance.

 _No expectations_ , he reminded himself silently. _No hoping. Absolutely not._

What he found behind the door blew any expectations he might've had completely out of the water.

* * *

 **Idk why Levy's so violent in this. She and Juvia aren't even close friends. Or why I made Juvia's dad a complete nutbag on legs. Whatevs, it's all good.**

 **So. Yeah. Reviews are good. Favorites & follows are good too. Bye.**


	13. Forgotten

**Oooooh this is really late this time. Haha sorryyyyyyyyy... Ugh, not functioning. I got like zero sleep yesterday and it's already 11:30... Huffah. Not.**

 **Yeah, sorry. This chapter is both delayed and short (like last chapter, if I recall correctly... I wonder how that happened...). And so, um, yeah. Btw, the quote this chapter kinda sucks. I mean, it's a good quote, but the relevancy is low. Sorry. Again, I'm not really functioning right now. I'm actually typing this with one hand, so that tells you something right there. Typos are bound to be in there somewhere. Don't tell me – I don't want to know.**

 **Oh, something kinda important – I'm going on a trip tomorrow for a couple days, so I won't be home until Saturday afternoonish. Depending on my mood, I may or may not take my computer. So if I do, and you're reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy really really lucky, I will update on Sunday. Even if I don't, there is a sliver of a chance I will update Sunday anyway, but it's more likely that I'll clone a leopard, so we'll see. Summer has made me lazy as hell.**

* * *

 _Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne_

* * *

Long blue hair flowed across the pillow like a river in motion, spiraling away from a woman's face. Her hands were clasped over her stomach, pale fingers tightly interlocked. She wore a long white nightgown that did nothing to hide the painfully thin lines of her body. She frowned in her sleep, her lips pursed thoughtfully. Her eyes were closed, but Gray knew if they were open, they would be a deep, dark blue.

"Juvia?" Levy gasped. She darted forward to stand with Jace at the woman's bedside. "Isn't this Juvia?"

"No, it's not," Jace, Gajeel, and Gray murmured in unison. They all stared at what seemed to be the face of a woman who had come into their lives only to turn them upside down.

"Her nose is all wrong," Gray said. "Juvia's nose is short, but she has a longer, thinner nose."

"Too wrinkly," Gajeel added. "Juvia's skin is smoother, or just like, younger. This lady is too old."

"This is Rose," Jace said softly. "Juvia's biological mother and my adoptive one."

Before anyone could speak, she opened her mouth and began to scream.

* * *

Juvia gagged on Porlyusica's latest concoction as she tried to swallow. "Just what are you putting in this stuff?" she asked, coughing. Porlyusica passed her a glass of water unsympathetically.

"Are you questioning my skills as a healer, missy? I put whatever I see fit in my medicines, and you can shut up and drink up like a good girl."

Juvia huffed as she went back to her table and crossed her arms over her chest. She was bored out of her skull. It had only been about a day since Gray had last come to visit her, but it might as well have been eons. She had nothing to do but sleep and drink Porlyusica's nasty 'medicines'. At this rate, she'd lose her mind before she could evaporate fully. Juvia longed for her collection of romance books, stacked neatly underneath the bed in her apartment. She'd tried to broach the subject to Porlyusica, but the older woman's only reply had been that she didn't have the time to worry about keeping Juvia entertained.

"Juvia!" The door slammed open, making Porlyusica growl, and in strode someone Juvia hadn't expected to see.

"Lyon-sama," she said, her brows lifted in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area and heard about your condition at the guild. How are you doing?" Lyon knelt by the bed, his normally sharp features even more pinched with concern. He reached for Juvia's hand.

"Oh," she said, sliding her phantom fingers away from his and tucking them away where he couldn't see. "Juvia sees. How did you get here?"

He glanced back at the doorway. "One of your guild members guided me."

Cana gave a friendly wave from the entrance, grinning widely. "Hey, Juvia. 'Sup?"

Juvia felt herself tear up and bit her lip. "Cana, Juvia has missed you," she mumbled. Cana laughed, stepping farther into the depths of the tree.

"What's with you? It's only been a week or so since we last talked. No need to get so down about it." Juvia stretched out her arms like a child and Cana obligingly bent down to hug her, ruffling her blue hair in the process. "You're not going anywhere, you hear me?" she whispered fiercely in Juvia's ear. "No one is going to let you leave on your own."

"Juvia is glad you're here, Cana," Juvia murmured in reply, pulling back and quickly hiding her hands under the sheets so Lyon couldn't see them. "Juvia has been so bored." She forced a tight smile, and Cana cocked her head.

"What, you don't have anything to do?" A mischievous grin crossed her lips. "How about I bring you some booze and we have a drinking party?"

"Don't even think about it, child of Gildarts. You're pushing your luck just being here."

"Hah? Don't tell what to do, old bag. I'm visiting my sick friend."

Porlyusica sniffed, clearly irked. "I am the one healing your sick friend, and you are currently standing in my house, so I would watch your mouth, girl. I could throw you out of here before you even knew what was happening. My patient, my house, my rules. Don't make me repeat myself."

As Cana and Porlyusica fell deeper into their bickering match, Juvia sighed in resignation and Lyon ignored the two completely. "So, how's it been going? I mean, putting aside the whole evaporating business. How've you been since the last time we met."

Juvia smiled. "Juvia has been having a lot of fun. The other day, she went on a job with Gray-sama in a neighboring town." She went on to describe the monster and the battle in detail. Lyon was a good listener. He reacted just the right way at all the appropriate places. He watched Juvia as she spoke, smiling faintly the whole time. Juvia couldn't help smiling too. She was at ease with Lyon in a way she was with few other people. When she was done, Lyon chuckled lightly and sat back on his heels.

"Wow, sounds like you did have fun." Suddenly, his eyes twinkled in that way they did when he was about reveal something deliciously awful. "I just remembered I brought you something good to cheer you up." He reached into his pocket and slowly withdrew a piece of paper. Juvia blinked.

"Is that paper…important?" Lyon's smug grin widened.

"Gray would murder me if he found out I gave this to you, but it's too awesome not to." He held out the rectangular sheet for Juvia to see. "Behold, the almighty Gray Fullbuster in all his childhood glory."

It was a photograph, and Juvia's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she strained to get a better look. Her breathing was too fast, almost hyperventilation, but she couldn't help it – the sight before her was simply too wonderful.

"That's…Gray-sama, isn't it?" She just had to make sure, because even if the small boy sleeping soundly in his equally small bed looked just like her beloved, there was a chance this was someone else entirely. Some people looked very different from how they had appeared as children.

"Definitely Gray," Lyon confirmed, his grin spreading so far Juvia feared it would fall off his face. "Ultear took this one of the first nights Gray was with us. Cute, isn't he?"

Cute didn't even begin to describe the way young Gray looked, sleeping so defenselessly, huddled tightly in the thick blankets. Juvia could almost hear the sounds of his breathing, soft in the small room. She nearly reached out for the picture, but she caught herself at the last moment.

"Can Juvia…have this?" she asked, peeking from under her lashes at Lyon. His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink and he set it down on the blanket, just above Juvia's knee.

"Yeah, sure. I brought it for you."

"Thank you," she whispered, her gaze glued to the image. "Juvia will treasure this forever."

"I'm tired of this!" Porlyusica roared abruptly. "Both of you out! And don't bother coming back!" She grabbed Lyon by the collar and tossed him out the door, shoving Cana out after him.

"Cana!" Juvia shouted. "Please bring Juvia her books! They're under Juvia's bed!"

"Gotcha!" Cana called back, just before Porlyusica shut the door on her.

* * *

As the scream shattered the silence in the room, a lot of things happened at once. Levy shot backwards like an arrow, lost her footing, and fell on her butt with all the grace of a tripped rhino. Gajeel automatically moved to shield her, putting his muscular body between her small frame and the screaming woman on the bed. Gray crouched low to the floor, his instincts telling him to defend himself from something but not knowing what that something was.

Jace reached out and grasped his mother's thin hand. "It's okay," he soothed softly. "You're okay. I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you. Everything is alright." Slowly her shrieks quieted and then stopped altogether. "Mom?"

"Is that you, Jace?" From his position on the floor, Gray couldn't see the woman's face, but it sounded like she was smiling. She had that kind of voice, one that told others what was going through her mind without even a glance at her expression. Juvia did, too. "I must have been dreaming again. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Mom. It's not your fault." Jace glanced down at Gray. "I have some people I want you to meet."

"Are they your friends?" Rose asked, ample curiosity coloring her tone. Gray stood and approached the bed, his eyes focused on the wall just behind it the whole time. He affixed a smile to his face and did his best to look friendly.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Gray Fullbuster, a friend of Juvia's."

Too late did he see the warning in Jace's dark eyes.

"Juvia?" Rose sounded genuinely puzzled. "Who is that?"

"Huh?" Gray spun to stare at Jace, searching for some sort of hint that this was a joke in his expression. He'd give anything for this to be a joke. Bottomless sad eyes stared back. He turned back to look at Rose. He didn't want to see Jace make that face. This was all wrong. "What are you talking about? Juvia's your daughter, isn't she?"

"I don't know anyone named Juvia," Rose said, that same puzzled tone seeping through into her expression. "I don't have a daughter, either." She coughed. "I'm sorry, it seems like there's been some sort of mistake. Is this a prank?"

Gray took a step backward. His knees shook, threatening to dump him on the floor. "Why…"

Jace grabbed his elbow and towed him to the other side of the room. "Take a deep breath and calm down." Gray did as he said, if only because he couldn't think of any other way to make the world stop tilting. He felt sick.

"What the hell is going on?" he managed finally, when his feet felt stable again. "Why doesn't she remember Juvia?"

"My mother has been sick for a long time," Jace began softly. "She had trouble giving birth to Juvia, and nearly died in the process. The doctors told her she could never give birth again. But she wanted another child desperately, so she and my father adopted me from an orphanage. After that her health started to decline. She barely had the strength to get out of bed, and awful pains wracked her body. But we didn't have the money to buy the meds she needed then, so all we could give her were cheap painkillers and the like. Once Juvia started pulling in work at Phantom Lord, we could afford the actual medication, and Mom started getting better. But those meds have some serious drawbacks. They're crazy strong, but after a certain period of time, if the illness is still in the body, they become much less effective. And they have an awful side effect."

"Memory loss."

"Yeah. It's a specific kind of memory loss. It begins as short-term memory loss, erasing memories of people the patient has spent the least amount of time with recently. Juvia was almost never home, like I told you, and it was rare that she visited with Mom for more than a few minutes. She was one of the first people to go.

"After short-term comes the long-term memories. You start forgetting family members in the same way you forgot distant friends and such in the first stage. Juvia and Mom never spent a whole lot of time together after Mom got sick, because Juvia had to look after me and Mom wash't well enough to talk most of the time."

"So Juvia was just wiped from your mom's existence? Just like that?" The snap of Gray's fingers was a harsh, loud sound in the small room. "The daughter that she gave up her future children for? Gone that easily?"

"There's nothing easy about it for any of us," Jace said, turning away. "But this is reality, and reality has a nasty habit of being hard."

"Does Juvia know?"

Jace turned back and leveled his dark gaze at Gray. He didn't hesitate as he said, "Yeah, she knows."

White-hot rage boiled in Gray's chest. "Fucking–"

A large, strong hand clamped firmly over Gray's mouth. "Stop," Gajeel muttered. "You're starting to freak Juvia's old lady out. Just calm down a second." Gray wanted to scream. Gajeel had known Juvia since they'd been in Phantom Lord together. Didn't it piss him off? Wasn't he itching to punch someone in the face? All Gray wanted was to find the god that had decided they would turn Juvia's life into a shithole of misery and make sure that god never walked again.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I want to rip something to shreds, but now's not the time. There's something more important we gotta do."

What in Satan's name was more important than permanently maiming whoever had hurt Juvia?

"We need to find out if she remembers anything that could help us save Juvia," Levy said, coming around to stand in front of Gray, hands on her minuscule hips. "What's important right now isn't what we can't change."

Gray tore away from Gajeel wordlessly and stormed past Levy towards the dresser standing near the bed. His eyes swept over the top briefly; he snatched up a round object and marched back to the bed. Rose watched him with anxious eyes. "Are you alright?"

Gray thrust the object in his hand out above her face so she could see it. "That's the face of your daughter," he said roughly. His hands were shaking. "But she has a shorter nose and younger skin. Her name is Juvia."

Rose stared into the hand mirror for a very, very long time. Gray didn't notice the ache in his arm; he was watching her expression carefully. After a full five minutes had passed, Rose's blank expression began to crack. Her lower lip trembled. Tears welled in her eyes and dripped down her temples.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I don't know that girl."

 **Hahaha, did I get you? Raise your hand if you thought she was going to remember Juvia (no, seriously, raise 'em high. I'll see it). But nope! Also, this disease is completely made up. I have no clue if there is a real disease with symptoms like these. Just in case someone felt like wasting their time trying to figure out what disease Juvia's mom has. I think I'll dub it "That Disease That Juvia's Mom Has", or maybe, "Caused By Childbirth Disease". My creative skills amaze even me.**

 **Oh lookie, it's 11:45. Time sure does fly when you're sharing your own unique version of crazy with the** **interwebs.**

 **Can we talk about how much I hate autocorrect for a second? It changed 'lookie' – oh my fucking god it did it again – into 'kookie' at least five times. And it made interwebs two words. I am pissed.**


	14. Yeah, He's Really That Oblivious

**Before anyone reaches for their knives, I can explain. Well, sort of. I was on vacation a couple states away for a week and staying in a house with the shittiest wifi (do you think I swear too much? I think I might swear too much) that I have ever experienced. I was regularly kicked off for no reason and half the time couldn't even connect in the first place. It was hell (I need internet to survive) but I lived, and I'm back, and obviously that does not completely excuse me since I wasn't on vacation the whole time I wasn't updating. I'm really sorry, I just wasn't feeling it. But I think this chapter is decently long, so here's hoping that makes up for it. I should really go to bed before I become nocturnal (I haven't gone to bed** **before midnight for the past week or two at least) since school starts in two weeks, and that would be troublesome. I will try to finish this before school starts, but I can't really promise anything since my promises are worth crap anyway.**

 **So before I kill you all of boredom with my rambling and excuses, feel free to move and actually read the chapter. Oh yeah, before you go, I feel I should acknowledge the very sweet review I got from somebody not logged in asking if I'm okay (as you can see, the answer is yes). Thanks so much for your concern!**

 **Okay, for reals this time, enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

 _Sometimes it is better to be clueless about what is happening around you than to know every bit of information that would silently kill you. - Unknown_

 _Isn't it funny how obvious and oblivious are so similar? - Unknown_

 _He seemed as oblivious to it as he probably was to the meaning of the word. - Melody Malone_

* * *

Gray hadn't even realized he had started to shake until Jace grabbed his arm. Jace's grip was very steady compared to Gray's trembling limbs, and a little bit of sanity returned to him as he calmed down. He lowered the mirror carefully and put it back where he had found it.

"No, it was my fault," he said, struggling to keep his voice from cracking. "I apologize for my behavior."

Jace's iron-tight grip loosened.

"Okay, well, Gray and I are going to go see the sights, visit some places, get some dirt," Levy announced suddenly, her voice too loud for the small room. She sidled in front of Gray, took hold of his free arm, and tugged him toward the doorway with a gentle insistence and a strength that belied her toothpick-thin wrists.

"What?" Gajeel frowned at Gray, as if this was his fault. Well, in a way, maybe it was. "I'm coming with you."

Levy shook her head, biting back a satisfied smile. "No you're not. You get to stay here and talk to Rose for a bit." She waved cheerily. "Bye!"

The door shut behind them before Gray even realized they were out of the room. Levy kept a firm grip on his arm, not quite pulling him through the house and onto the street. "Levy?"

"Yeah?" She didn't turn back to look at him, focusing entirely on a piece of paper she held in front of her. She paused at a street sign and peered at the writing on it for a moment before taking a left. "What's up, Gray?" she asked when he didn't say anything. He wasn't even sure what he had wanted to say.

"Um… Could you let go now? I feel like a little kid getting dragged around by his overprotective mother."

Levy glanced back at him to give him the full effect of her dramatic eye roll. "I don't trust you not to run off the first chance you get. It's not bundles of fun for me either."

Gray sighed heavily. "I swear not to leave your side without your permission. Is that good enough?"

She huffed impatiently. "Yeah, yeah, alright. As long as you promise. For Mavis's sake," she grumbled, releasing Gray's wrist and clenching and unclenching her fingers. Gray massaged his wrist as he sped up a little to walk side by side with the smaller mage.

"So where are we going?" He looked over her shoulder at the hand-drawn map in her hand. Levy folded it and stuck in her pocket.

"A flea market. We're almost there – it's just around the corner."

They took another left and stepped into utter chaos. Stalls lined the street on both sides, indicating that this flea market was a step up from your classic picnic-blanket-on-the-ground fun-family-outing type outdoor flea market. Merchants roared at the top of their lungs, desperately trying to reel customers in. Throngs of people filled the street like a living wall, jabbing and shoving each other out of the way as they jostled for enough space to breathe. More than one shouting match broke out between the sellers and buyers as they haggled over prices.

"What the hell is this?" Gray choked breathlessly, having failed to deflect the elbow shoved unceremoniously into his gut by a portly woman bustling past. "Are all flea markets this bloodthirsty?"

Levy laughed, slipping effortlessly between two men arguing loudly with a stall owner about the price of a decidedly hideous pot. "Of course not. Come on, you're going to get trampled if you stay there!" This was sufficient motivation for to Gray to push his way through the encroaching crowd after her, desperately trying to keep her bobbing blue hedgehog spikes in view.

When the crowd spat him out like a moldy piece of bread, he thought he had come to the end of the market and would have to go back and search for Levy. But as he looked around, he realized he had simply reached an unpopular section of the market. There were a few older people browsing through the stalls, but it in no way resembled the entrance to the street.

"Gray!" Levy called, waving at him from a stall halfway down the remainder of the road. He trudged dutifully over to meet her.

"This is what we came here for?" he questioned doubtfully, staring at the musty tomes stacked hastily on the cart's display. Levy nodded absent-mindedly, her nose already pressed into a particularly thick volume.

"I wanted to check something out, remember? That's why I'm here."

"Well, what is it? And why's it so important?" Gray lifted a book bound in aged leather from the top of a stack and examined the spine. It was covered in what looked like magic runes. "Can you even read these books?"

Levy sniffed indignantly. "For your information, I can read them. And what I'm looking for is none of your business. Just shut up and wait." She snapped the tome she was holding shut and put it back on the table. She sifted through one of the towers and then snatched the runic book from Gray's hand.

Seconds became minutes as they passed while Gray waited for her to find what she was looking for. After half an hour, he gave up and sat cross-legged on the pavement and leaned back against the cart, closing his eyes.

Juvia's never been like that. She keeps the important stuff to herself.

Gray's eyes snapped open. Where the hell had that come from?

"Hey, Levy?" he called. She didn't look up from her book. He could tell she wasn't listening.

"What?"

"Do you think…" Gray hesitated. He really didn't want to voice his sudden fear out loud. He certainly didn't want to hear her say yes. "Do you think there's something Juvia still hasn't told us? Something important?"

Levy flipped the page. "Nope."

He should have been relieved. He was, but some twisted part wanted to hear her say she thought there was. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something big that was missing, and he didn't want to be the only one doubting Juvia.

"Gray," Levy said abruptly, setting down her book with a thump and joining him on the ground.

He looked at her, but she was staring straight ahead. "What's up?"

"Why are you so worried about Juvia? I don't understand. She's always pestering you, doing things to bother you or make you uncomfortable. Why go so far for her?"

What was there to not understand? "I'm worried because she's my friend. She's my guild mate. That equates her to family. Of course I'm worried. Why wouldn't I be worried? Actually, worried is the understatement of the year. I'm freaking out." He stopped to take a breath and thought of something. "What I don't understand is why you're here. You don't have to go this far – you and Juvia have never really been close."

Levy laughed sadly. "What, I thought that was obvious. You're denser than you look, you know?"

Gray rolled his eyes. "I'm not the only one asking dumb questions. C'mon, out with it."

"I care because Juvia is one of Gajeel's best friends," Levy said simply. "That idiot doesn't have many, you know, and Juvia is his oldest and closest. They know things about each other that no one else could. I don't think Gajeel could handle losing her." As awful as it was, the thought of Gajeel knowing things about Juvia that he didn't made Gray's intestines twist like spaghetti on a fork.

There was a long, painful silence before she whispered, "I don't want to see him… I don't want to see him get left alone like that. I have to do something."

Gray wished he could get up and walk away from the conversation. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to think about it. But he owed it to Levy to be honest after she had explained all that to him.

"Truthfully, I have no clue why I'm panicking so badly," Gray admitted. "I just get this feeling… Like, if Juvia stopped showing up every day and doing her crazy shit, I'd lose my mind. If I couldn't ever see her smile or hear her laugh again, I might just stop existing. It's like life doesn't work right if Juvia's not in the middle of it screwing up the gears."

He hadn't expected the sudden bark of laughter from Levy, and he jumped. "What?" he muttered irritably. "You don't get to laugh when I say embarrassing stuff if I don't laugh when you say it."

Levy wrapped her arms around her aching stomach and gasped for air, completely ignoring him. Finally, she brushed tears away from the corners of her eyes and said weakly, "You really are an idiot, aren't you? I wasn't laughing because of what you said. I was just struck by the hilarity of your utter cluelessness."

"Wow. Thanks," Gray said sourly. "Are you done? Can we leave now?"

Levy hopped to her feet and dusted off her butt in a businesslike fashion. "Nope. You can wander around if you want, though. I hereby free you of your leash. Go gather info or buy souvenirs or something." She shooed him away from the stall like an annoying bug, flicking both her hands at him.

"Alright, alright, I'm going already!" he grumbled over his shoulder at her, slouching away into the seething crowd of shoppers.

Luckily for Gray, more than a few people had already left, freeing up enough space that it wasn't a necessity to guard his stomach from stray elbows. He squeezed through the crowd, stopping here and there to peer over shoulders at trinkets and tchotchkes. After a time, he noticed a stall that didn't have a single customer. Undeniably curious, he headed for the cart to check it out.

An ancient, wrinkled woman sat hunched on a stool behind the cart. She looked more like a prune than a person. "Um… Hi," Gray said, unsure if she was even awake. Or alive, for that matter. Her bulbous, purplish nose twitched, and rheumy grey eyes webbed with cataracts snapped open and she stared at him for a long moment. Then her thin lips spread wide in a delighted smile, revealing pinky-grey gums and exactly three yellow teeth.

"Well, if it isn't Danny!" she croaked happily. "How've you been? I haven't seen you in such a long time."

"Uh, ma'am," Gray said, afraid she might tackle him over the counter, "I'm not Danny."

She blinked. "You're not?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then who in Lordy's name are you, and what in the devil do you want?" she snapped, her lined face settling into a comfortable scowl. Gray stared at her.

"I just wanted to take a look at your…" He glanced down at the display of roughly-carved wooden somethings. "At your wares. You are selling, right?"

The old woman snorted. "Course I'm selling. What did you think I was doing, picking daisies?" She muttered to herself, "Youngsters these days."

"Right. Okay," Gray said. "Well, I'm just going to go now." He turned away, but a clawed hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder.

"Hold it," the old woman commanded imperially.

Gray twisted around to frown at her. "What?"

"You never told me your name. I wanna hear it. I always get the names of all my customers."

Gray thought about arguing that he wasn't a customer since he hadn't bought anything, but decided it was easier just to tell her. "I'm Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail mage. Can I go now?"

"Fairy Tail? You are?" The old woman looked him up and down, clearly unimpressed. "Humph." Gray resisted the urge to point to his Fairy Tail insignia and stick out his tongue like an eight-year-old. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Look, it doesn't matter if you believe me or not. You wanted to know who I am, and I told you. I gotta go now."

"Slow down, child. I believe you. Stay a while, look around. You were interested, weren't you?" She pushed forward what looked like a half-melted monkey's head carved out of wood. "This one's a rare talisman I got from a wood-molding mage forty years ago. Cute, isn't it?"

Gray attempted a smile and picked up a wax doll. "What's this one?"

The old woman beamed at his question. "That's a voodoo doll. With the right incantations and one of your target's hairs, you can do anything to that doll and it'll be mirrored on your target's body till you undo the spell. Pretty handy, those things. I have at least a dozen of 'em at home."

Gray shivered and put the doll down carefully. Grisly images of what Juvia would do with a doll like that were dancing through his mind. "I don't think there's really anything I'm looking for here, but thanks anyway." He started to turn away and then paused. "Actually, you might be able to help me. Have you heard of a tribe that used to live around here called the People of the Rain?"

The old woman looked taken aback. "You know of 'em?"

Gray nodded. "I'm researching them to help my guild mate. She's…sick."

The old woman settled back on her stool and crossed her arms. "Well, I doubt anything you find on the People will help your friend get better."

"Why?" Gray asked, leaning forward. The monkey head fell off the cart and clattered onto the street, but both ignored it. "What makes you think that?"

She shrugged, her eyes focusing on a spot just above his left eyebrow. Gray wondered if she was going blind. "The People weren't medicinal folk. In fact, one could hardly call them a tribe. They were more of a cult, really. I doubt they had any sort of healing spells or recipes at all, certainly nothing rare or special."

Gray dismissed this statement easily. "I'm not looking for medicine. I just need to get anything I can find about these guys. Please, if you know anything, tell me." The old woman frowned.

"If you don't need medicine, then why–"

"Old lady, I'm begging you here. Please."

A long sigh left her lungs, and the old woman smiled a little. "Call me Grandma B. And I'll tell you, so clean out your ears and listen, 'cause I'm only saying this once." She bent forward slightly, and the cadence of her voice changed into a low, soft rhythm. "The People of the Rain were essentially a cult, like I said. They lived at the very top of this hill and they worshipped the rain. To them there was nothing greater, nothing more holy, than the rain that fell on this land. They believed that if a day ever passed that the rain did not fall, all life in Earthland would wither and die. Their leader was a man named Rennar, and it was rumored that he could summon the rain. Every morning at dawn, he would descend the hill and sit alone in the sacred shrine, performing the ceremony to make the rain fall. And every day, without fail, the rain would come."

"Do you know what the ceremony was?" Gray demanded, almost crawling onto the stall in his haste. "Can you tell me how to perform it?"

Grandma B shook her head in the way old people move – steadily but creakily, and very, very slowly. It seemed as though her withered neck might snap if she moved too fast. "It was the People's greatest secret, and more closely guarded than any treasure. No one knew the ritual but Rennar himself, and no one dared to follow and watch him in his daily routine."

Levy's face pushed its way into the forefront of Gray's mind, and he blinked. "Do you know if the People might have written it in a book of their ceremonies and rituals and stuff? Could it be in there?"

Grandma B's murky eyes widened. "A book of their rituals?"

"Yeah, like a record of all their tribal practices and other random stuff. Would it be in there?"

"Where did you get that?" the old woman hissed, nearly toppling off her stool as she lunged forward so her round nose was inches from Gray's chin. Gray leaned away from her sour breath, but she gripped him by the shoulders with ancient, warped fingers.

"My friend is translating it. I think she found it somewhere in Oak. Why? What's so special about it?"

Grandma B released him and began mumbling to herself. Gray was pretty sure she was speaking in another language, because what was coming out of her mouth sounded like utter nonsense. Finally, she glanced up at him. "Where is this friend now?"

Gray jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction he had come from. "Over there, poking through books."

"And the book? Where is the book?"

"I think she brought it with her," he said slowly. "Why are you so upset over some book?"

"Shut your yapper," the old woman snapped. "I'm trying to think."

Just then, Gray heard Levy's voice over the blend of chatter surrounding them. "Gray! Where are you?" He rose up onto his toes and squinted as he searched for the familiar blue spikes. As it was, she spotted him before he saw her, since the area immediately near him was void of people and she was considerably shorter (and therefore harder to find in a crowd) than the average adult. Levy approached him smiling cheerfully, clutching several thick books close to her chest. But the smile slipped off her face when she got close enough to see who he was standing next to. "It's you!" she accused, unwrapping one arm from her books to point at Grandma B, indignation thick on her pixie-like features.

The old woman narrowed her eyes at Levy for a moment before saying, in a rather rude tone of voice, "Do I know you?"

Levy let out a furious squeak. Her tiny body quivered with the force of her anger. "You're the nasty old woman who tried to take the book I had bought last time I was here! You seriously have the nerve to do something like that and then forget about it?" Levy's chest heaved. "You… You _hag_!"

"Whoa there, Levy," Gray said, trying to soothe her and restrain his laughter at the same time. "Just calm down a sec, okay?"

Grandma B let out a harsh, gleeful cackle. "Oh, you're that impudent girlie who liked to stick her nose where she shouldn't. To think she'd be your friend, boy. Poor decision, if you ask me."

"Wha–" Levy gasped, but Gray stuck out his arm to keep her from tackling the elderly woman.

"Levy, stop letting everything she says get your panties in a twist. You need to calm down. What were you talking about earlier?"

Levy took three long, deep breaths. Closing her eyes, she said, much more rationally, "Sorry, that was ridiculous of me. I was angry because when I was in Oak a few weeks ago, this woman tried to steal the book I had just bought. You know, that book."

"Yeah," Gray muttered grimly. "We were just talking about that book. She says the People had some sort of rain-calling ceremony, and I asked her if it might be in there."

Levy's eyes snapped open, and her head jerked around to stare at him. "Do you think that book could be the key to saving Juvia?"

"That's exactly what I mean. And since we don't have any better leads right now, you need to go back to Fairy Tail and get serious about translating that thing." When she didn't say anything, Gray reached out and gripped her shoulders. She was gazing wide-eyed at the pavement as if lost in thought. "Levy, I'm dead serious. Juvia's life could depend on you doing this. Please."

"Don't worry, I'll go," she assured him. "You don't need to beg. My business in Oak is done, anyway. Gajeel and I will take the next train back to Magnolia and I'll get started on translating it in earnest."

Uneasiness churned in the pit of Gray's stomach. It wasn't precisely that he didn't believe Levy – she had no reason to lie, and she wanted to protect Juvia as badly as he did. But she wouldn't look up from the cracked cement, and she wouldn't meet his eyes no matter how hard he tried to catch her gaze.

* * *

"Hey, Juvia, open the window!" Cana called, knocking loudly on the glass. Juvia glanced back at the long table where Porlyusica worked, but the old woman had fallen asleep sitting up. Her head nodded to the side and soft breaths puffed past her lips. Experimentally, Juvia placed her hand – or rather, the place her hand had once been – against the window and pushed. Nothing. The stub of her forearm bumped lightly against the glass and she stared unseeing at it for an endless moment, utter emptiness floating through her head. She couldn't seem to summon up anything to think of. Juvia had never experienced anything like it before; her overactive imagination made sure she always had something occupying her mind. But this time there was nothing.

"Juvia? What's the matter?" Cana's voice snapped her out of it. "Are you okay?"

"Juvia doesn't think the window will open. Just use the door; it should be unlocked."

Moments later, the door swung open softly and Cana stepped in, balancing a stack of books tucked between her cupped hands and her chin. "Hey," she said, with an awkward grin. "Damn girl, you have a lot of these things. How did they all fit under your bed?"

Juvia shrugged. "Juvia believes there are some things aren't meant to be understood. You can put them on the floor next to the bed." Cana went about the arduous task of setting the books down without letting the tower collapse, and Juvia looked on in silent amusement.

As Cana was stepping out the door, her mission accomplished, she turned back suddenly. "Juvia, don't worry, okay? Everyone's out looking for a way to help you. We'll definitely find a cure and save you, so just wait for us!" Her brows furrowed, and she bit her lip. Somehow Juvia was reminded of Jace as a child, when he was trying hard not to cry. "All you have to do is hang on, and let us do the rest, okay?"

"Cana–"

"That's all I wanted to say!" Cana declared loudly, flushing crimson down to her neck. She ran out, slamming the door behind her, before Juvia could get a word out.

"Juvia didn't get to say thank you," she mumbled miserably, frowning down at her missing hands. "That's not fair, Cana."

 **Yeah, so that happened. I don't really know what's going on any more than you people do, so asking at this point is about equivalent to asking a rock: I got nothing. Gut feelings are the name of the game, and this game will most likely continue until I've miraculously brought this story to a close. I have a decent-ish kind of idea about how it's maybe going to possibly end if I so choose, but the mean person in me wants to make everyone miserable in the exact way so many readers have begged me not to. It's really tempting, but if I get lots of support from my loving readers, I will endeavor to make Juvia and Gray happy people.**

 **What's that you say? You want to know _how_ you can support me as a loving reader to ensure that both halves of Gruvia end up alive–for all that is holy, everyone stop thinking. My brain waves must be clear – I am getting a vision of a way to blow all of your socks off, along with any other items of clothing you may be wearing. If you are, for any reason, not in the habit of wearing clothing while ****reading this fanfiction, I strongly suggest you put something on for the final chapter, just in case, or your epidermis may be ripped from your body, and I would hate to be responsible for that. A hat will do, if you're a nudist or something. Speaking of nudists, how does that work in the winter? Or really any season other than deep summer? I think I'd die of frostbite pretty damn quickly. Nudists have my respect, although I should probs admit I know nothing about nudism. Did you know that public nudity was not illegal in San Francisco in 2011? It wasn't. Oops, sorry. Off-topic. Anyway, I just got a really spectacular idea of awesomeness that I probably won't use because while it is awesome, I would in all likelihood cry buckets writing it (but, like, the good kind of buckets). Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, look forward to the last chapter! It's coming, I promise. Again, I apologize for the extreme lateness. It hopefully won't happen again; realistically you won't get another update on time for the duration of the publishing process of this fanfic.**

 **Ah! Before I forget – If you want to send me your support in order to get the ending of happiness, make sure to write a review, favorite, follow, or send me a PM (or any combination of the above). Remember, if my willpower gives out, you will end up wailing and cursing my existence, so supporting me is really a very small price to pay. Loves all round!**


	15. Think About It

**Never before have I realized just how awful I am, but now I see. It's been weeks (I think it's been weeks) and here I am, trying to placate people with chapter scraps. This is not even half a chapter – this is like a fourth, a sixth of a normal chapter. I am sorry.**

 **On another note, I'm dead tired. An hour of World Civ homework on the first day of school will do that to you, I suppose. That combined with the class expectations thingamabob has me seriously depressed, but oh well. I'll just have to show Honors World Civ that I mean damn serious business. Mr. L can stuff it. And while we're on the topic of high school, let me just say that it really shouldn't be that big. It's like they want freshmen to get lost.**

* * *

 _Love has reasons which reason cannot understand. -Blaise Pascal_

* * *

Gray watched Levy walk away down the street, her books still tucked close to her chest. She looked back once, waved and smiled, and then jogged away, her spiky blue head bobbing up and down as she grew smaller and smaller.

"She should have given me that book when I gave her the chance," Grandma B said from behind Gray. "She'll regret ever having anything to do with it."

"What are you talking about?" Gray asked, still staring after Levy and wondering what it was that was making him so nervous. "You're not making sense. How could a book hurt her?"

Grandma B shook her old head slowly as if in despair. "Youngsters these days don't understand the kind of power words have over man. Listen, boy, I don't know what's wrong with this girlfriend of yours, but nothing that comes out of those rituals can be good for her. You don't know what you're getting into."

Finally Gray gave up on trying to understand the antsy tickling in his gut and turned around to stare down the mysterious old woman. "Then tell me. What's in that goddamned book, and why's it so dangerous or whatever?"

Solemn grey eyes gazed blindly through the bridge of his nose and then closed. "I swear to the gods, this brat is too cheeky for his own good. Don't pester an old woman so much, boy. I can't simply tell you. You must _know_."

"Bullshit," Gray snapped succinctly. "Know what?" He yanked one hand violently through his tangled hair, thrusting the other into his pocket. "I think you just get off on spouting nonsense to freak innocent people out. But this is different – Juvia's life is on the line here. So tell me what the hell this is about or shut the hell up, because I don't have the time to deal with bored creepy old ladies."

Instead of feigning surprise, or leaning forward to share what she knew, Grandma B settled more comfortably on her stool. A toothless grin spread across her wrinkled face, stretching the loose skin tight and compressing the lines in her cheeks. "Ho," she murmured smugly. "So she _is_ your girlfriend, hmm?"

Gray wished he could control the flow of his blood. Then he wouldn't have to feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment at such a ridiculous question. "She's not my girlfriend. Juvia is a guild mate of mine."

"So you say now, but your words just before were saying differently. If she's not your girlfriend, then you wish she was."

Gray somehow summoned up the strength to laugh uproariously at Grandma B's words. "I want to date Juvia about as much as I want to stab myself in the eye with a pencil."

One scraggly, uneven eyebrow lifted skeptically. "Then why are you so afraid of losing her?"

"Because…" Gray faltered, even though he must have said the same thing to himself and to others at least half a dozen times. Before him, Grandma B's cloudy grey eyes peeled away layers of his skin as she dug into his head. "Because Juvia's my friend. I can't just sit back and let her go."

"No, don't do that. Don't let her go if she means something to you. I assume she does mean something to you?"

Gray scowled. "Of course she does."

"Then, ask yourself this: what is it exactly that she means?"

The funny thing was, Gray had almost forgotten that once upon a time, he and Juvia had been enemies. Even when he was living it, even when he was standing on the roof across from Juvia, attacking her to protect his guild, it hadn't quite been real. She hadn't even put up a real fight. And then the day she came into the guild with her hair cut short and her depressing clothes gone, he hadn't really paid her more than the necessary amount of attention due to a new member who had previously attempted to hurt their guild. He hadn't really trusted her, but overall, he hadn't thought much about her.

How was it that she had wormed her way so far into his life?

She had made him a scarf once, hadn't she? For that ridiculous, random anniversary of something or other. The same day Ur had died, she had made him a scarf. Even though it was hot, and he was an ice mage, she'd made him a freaking scarf.

And he'd worn it. Hell, he'd gone back and dug for it after it started snowing.

He couldn't understand it. When was it? When had he started caring so damn much about that outrageous girl?

"Confused?" Grandma B asked, yanking him abruptly out of his own head. A wry smile twisted her thin, creased lips. "Don't think so hard, boy. You'll understand eventually."

Gray didn't even know what he was supposed to understand.

 **Again, I apologize on behalf of this chapter. I think high school might end up giving me a serious mental breakdown.**


	16. Time to Make a Choice

**Guess what? I'm not dead! No, seriously. I'm super super super sorry about the crazy delay. See, this is why I should've finished this before school started again. I have no time for anything anymore. Maybe I am dead.**

 **I'm going to regret this tomorrow when I have to get up at 5:45 am to catch my bus, but you know what? Screw school. School can go make itself a goddamn cup of tea (sorry consent reference) and everyone will be happier for it. UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE DON'T WANT TEA, ARHS (pronounced arse).**

 **Thanks to everyone who supported this fic through following, favoriting, or commenting while I was temporarily dead. I really appreciate it. Okay, so go ahead and read the chapter now. You know you want to.**

* * *

 _To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace_

* * *

Every once in a while, he had the dream.

It wasn't a long dream.

In fact, it was so short it was almost painful.

The dream was always, always the same.

 _She was in danger._

They were in Crocus, after the Grand Magic Games, fighting the dragon-creatures.

 _Juvia was in danger._

She was being reckless, of course, stupid even. She had turned to say something to him.

 _Turned to smile._

Turned away from the hidden dragon-creature that had snuck up on her.

And all he was thinking was that _he couldn't let her die_.

The light was too bright – every time, he thought he would go blind from the endless flash of white light.

 _His forehead burned with agony, setting his bones on fire._

And then he woke up, blinking starbursts from his vision, and he would try to remember what the dream had been about.

Always, the details were vague, fuzzy.

Always, all he could remember were three things:

 _She was in danger._

 _He couldn't let her die._

 _She had turned to smile at him._

And then he would put the dream away in the back of his mind, where people he didn't want to remember and questions he didn't want to answer lived.

And then he would try to forget.

And it would almost work.

And then every once in a while, he had the dream again.

It wasn't a long dream, but he could never quite remember, and he could never quite forget.

* * *

Juvia stilled, her eyes wandering anxiously to the door. Porlyusica had left an hour ago, grumbling something about needing to stock up on supplies, and ever since Juvia had been hearing strange sounds coming from outside the door. Normally she wouldn't have been afraid, but normally she wasn't unable to walk or use her hands or magic. She was a sitting duck for anything that decided to come in and eat her. Another long, jarring scraping sound made her jump. Panic began to close her throat.

Juvia closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. When that failed miserably, she gave up and resorted (rather eagerly) to Plan B: Fantasizing about Gray-sama.

 _"Juvia."_

 _"Gray-sama!" Juvia bounced up from her seat next to Gajeel and threw herself at Gray. He caught her and set her on her feet gently, offering her an amused smile._

 _"What's your hurry?"_

 _Juvia beamed into the handsome face of her beloved. He was still gripping her waist lightly. "Juvia has missed you, Gray-sama!"_

 _A cloud passed over his expression, and he scowled. Taking his hands from her waist, he grabbed her hand and pulled her outside into the guild courtyard. "What's wrong, Gray-sama?" Juvia asked_ , _concerned. His fingers spasmed on hers and he released her._

 _"You know, Juvia," he said, turning to face her, "You should really drop the honorifics with me. Just call me Gray."_

Juvia's eyes snapped open and she almost rolled off the bed.

 _What in Earthland was that?_

"Juvia!"

Juvia's heart leapt into her throat. But when she heard her name again, she sighed and relaxed slightly. 'It's open, Levy," she called. The door swung open and a petite young woman stepped into the room, clutching a book that looked like it weighed more than she did. Juvia eyed it warily.

"Juvia!" Levy gasped, nearly dropping the book on her toes in her rush to reach the bed. She tripped over her own feet and flomped face-first onto the mattress. "Are you okay?'

Juvia smiled down at Levy, trying not to laugh. "Juvia is fine. Juvia's glad you're here. How are you?"

"I'm good," Levy said distractedly, leaping to her feet and tugging nervously on the hem of her orange dress. "How are you?" She flushed. "I mean, I said that already, didn't I? Sorry, my brain's a little fried. What've you been up to?"

Juvia tilted her head at one of her favorite books of all time. The cover was worn and nearly falling off, the title illegible. "Juvia has been reading through her collection. Romance novels make her think of Gray-sama." _And speaking of Gray…_ She tried to ignore her heated cheeks and said, "Does Juvia want to know what your book is about?"

Levy jumped about a foot into the air and cast her discarded tome a guilty look. "What, that old thing? Nah, boring stuff in there. It's like…like a…you know… That kinda thing, yeah?"

Juvia cocked her head to one side. "What kind of thing?"

Levy shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back. "Oh, you know… It's sort of a history. Of Fiore. Real boring. Nothing you'd want to know about. Just some stuff in there I need for a…a project-thingum. A whatchamacallit. You know what I mean."

"Juvia really doesn't, but she'll take your word for it."

Levy laughed anxiously. "Oh, okay then! Good to hear. Yup…" she trailed off, looking like she wished she could disappear. "So how've you been?"

Juvia's head tipped to the other side. "Levy, are you okay? Is there something wrong that Juvia can help with?" Something in Levy's expression flickered, and she looked down solemnly at her dainty feet.

"There's nothing you can do to help, Juvia." Juvia held back a sharp intake of breath, instead letting out a soft puff of air. That was what she had expected, anyway. There was nothing a useless invalid could have ever done for anyone. Levy seemed to sense the hurt in Juvia's chest, because her head jerked up suddenly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I want your help, I really do. It's just not that simple."

"Juvia understands, Levy." And the worst part was that she did. Nothing was ever so simple that a friend could get help with her problems from another friend. Like Jace would say, reality had a nasty habit of being complicated. Juvia knew that better than anyone.

"No, you don't understand anything," Levy burst out with all the tact of an erupting volcano. "No one knows, and this is all wrong and I have no idea what to do anymore!"

Juvia wanted more than anything at that moment to be able to reach out and hold Levy's small hands in her own. But she couldn't. "Tell Juvia. Juvia will help you, Levy. Don't try to do this alone. Please."

"I want to," she whispered, and Juvia was horrified to see tears pool in her miserable brown eyes. "I hate how useless I am, Juvia. All this knowledge, all these stupid ideas in my head amount to nothing because there's nothing I can do to save my friend. There's nothing I can do, and I hate seeing you disappear in front of my own eyes like this. It's not fair." Levy lifted her hand to brush away the tears, her movements so quick it looked like she was almost slapping herself in her frustration.

Juvia laughed, feeling it echo hollowly in her chest. This was not mirth - it was hysteria, desperation of the most awful kind. It ate at her, ripping her apart from the inside out. "Life is plenty fair, Levy. No one sees it when it happens, because they don't think they've done anything to deserve it. But Juvia has done plenty of bad things in her life. It's time the bad started catching up to her."

"I think you've atoned more than enough already, Juvia," Levy said finally, scrubbing at her cheek like she could still feel tears tracing the soft skin there. "I've met your parents, you know."

Juvia smiled sadly. "At least Juvia has parents. Some people are not so lucky."

Levy snorted. "Yeah, it's a good thing not all of us are blessed with quite that brand of luck. If every Tom, Dick and Harry had nut-loaf parents like that, we'd all be screwed from birth."

Juvia couldn't help but crack a smile. "What are your parents like, Levy?" she asked shyly, not sure if that was a touchy subject. Levy seemed caught off-guard.

"My parents? They're pretty average, really. Just your classic, garden-variety parents, the kind that's really overachieving when it comes to their children. They always wanted a lot for me, so they were excited when we found out I had magic." She looked down at the floor for a moment. "And then they were disappointed when it turned out my magic sucks."

"It does not!" Juvia gasped indignantly. "Did they tell you that?"

Levy smoothed down her blue hedgehog hair nervously. "No, of course not. I know they love me and they would never say something like that - or even think it. It's just…" She sighed, collapsing on one of Porlyusica's stump stools. "My magic's not really flashy, you know? Not like Natsu's flames or Erza's armor or Gray's ice or Lucy's spirits. Not like your water magic, either. And it's not very strong either. I'm not good enough to even qualify for half the jobs on the request board, some days. And it made them sad for me, seeing that, because they hoped I would go on to be powerful and influential and important - someone who _mattered_. Someone who _moved_ people. And instead I'm a nerdy introvert standing in the shadow of the strongest, most incredible people in all of Fiore. I don't ever regret being where I am, but sometimes I think about it and wish I could have been that person for my mom and dad. Do you ever…think you should've done something different, changed something somehow to put yourself in a different place now?" Levy's eyes bored into Juvia's, waiting to hear something Juvia didn't know how to say.

"Juvia regrets a lot of things," she began, thinking of the days she had spent drowning in solitude and pushing Jace, her only brother, farther and farther away. She thought of her mother's sunken cheeks, her own wasted face staring back at her. She thought of walking quietly out of the room when her own mother - the woman who was supposed to love her more than life itself - asked if she was there to tutor Jace. The only child she remembered. Juvia thought of the biting resentment that had filled her stomach and frozen her blood in her veins. "Too many things to count. Everyone has those regrets, little things and big things that no one can avoid. But Juvia would never change the things that led Juvia here, to this moment, to this place. Not the things that brought Juvia to Fairy Tail." She allowed herself a tiny smile. "Not what brought Juvia to be with Gray-sama." She looked straight at Levy, offering her all the pain and sadness and love and hurt Juvia had, all the answers those emotions could bring. "You don't regret being here at Fairy Tail?" Levy shook her head emphatically. "Then your parents have nothing more to wish for. Their daughter is happy where she is. Nothing is better than that to a parent who truly loves their child. They have nothing to feel disappointed for."

A wide smile split Levy's pixie-like face open like a delicate flower unfurling in the morning sun's coaxing light. "Thanks, Juvia," she said, leaning forward to wrap her friend in a tight hug. Juvia returned the hug, trying not to wonder if her mother would have wished for her happiness, if she had been able to remember who Juvia was.

And then she tried not to wonder if Gray cared if she was happy.

* * *

Levy lifted three more trashy romance novels from the stack piled higher than Juvia on the mattress next to her. "Mavis, Juvia, these things are like sleazy collector's items." She flipped one over and squeaked. The cover depicted a half-naked, well-bronzed, impossibly toned man with a thick black mane that reminded her forcefully of Gajeel's. He curled around the front of the cover like a sexy wild beast, carefully controlled and pressed into the shiny paper. "Isn't this the sixth volume of the Paradise series? How did you get your hands on this? It's impossible to find anywhere!" Juvia beamed proudly.

"Juvia waited in line for five hours to buy a copy the day it came out. It's signed too." Levy gasped, flipping the book open to a random page just to bask in the easy glow of a novel written to make a reader enjoy themselves without too much thought.

"You are a serious force to be reckoned with," she mumbled, stroking a silken page absently with a fingertip. "Next time, get me a copy, yeah?"

Juvia smiled sadly. "Juvia would if she could."

Levy snapped the book shut too abruptly and dropped it onto the growing heap next to her with a startling smack. "You will. You're going to be fine, Juvia."

But she wasn't. Levy was a dirty liar, and they both knew it.

 _She could be_ , a tiny voice whispered, oh-so-soft like the barest touch of silk in her thoughts. _If you just said something, someone would step up and save her. She could be just fine if you did that._

But Levy was selfish on top of being a liar, and she couldn't bring herself to say it – couldn't bear to see it when Gajeel volunteered. And Gray… If she told Gray, it would be like sacrificing her brother. And she couldn't. She _couldn't_.

"Levy, Juvia would never want that."

"What?" she gasped, whipping around to gape at Juvia. Horror made her stomach sink as realization dawned. "Did I…say that out loud?"

Juvia didn't answer, only reaching out to touch Levy's hand and then recoiling like she'd been burned when she realized she couldn't. The pain in her eyes sliced into Levy sharper than any knife. She tucked the stumps of her wrists under the blankets, away from the glare of the sunlight. Her eyes wouldn't meet Levy's when she said, "Juvia already knows, Levy. It's okay. You don't need to try to save Juvia like this."

Levy trembled, her whole body shaking like a leaf in a storm. It felt like her chest might crack open. A harsh sound ripped its way out of her throat, and she realized tears were making slug tracks down her cheeks. "But if we just said something, he would do it for you. He would, Juvia," Levy insisted even as it grew harder to breathe.

"Do you think Juvia wants that?" the other girl demanded, her voice still soft and yet heavy with the deepest kind of sadness and fury. "What is the point in living if there is no one to live for? What would Juvia do with her life if she had to let go of Gray-sama to live it?"

"He might not say yes!" Levy said vehemently, suddenly sure that she had to convince Juvia to try it, had to make it work somehow. "He might refuse, Juvia."

The other girl slumped, all the desperation leaving her body, and said in a small, desolately lonely voice, "He would do it, if only because Juvia is part of Fairy Tail. Gray-sama would never let his family die like that. He would do everything, even if he doesn't love Juvia."

 _He does_ , Levy wanted to shout. _He does love you, you adorable idiot_.

The words jammed in her throat like a lump of peanut butter, too thick to swallow, too sticky to spit out. Because they weren't her words to say, because she knew Juvia shouldn't hear something like that from her and not Gray.

Levy knew Juvia too well to think she would ever ask Gray to do something that would harm him. Juvia would rather die a thousand times over than let Gray sacrifice himself for her. Levy knew that. Which was why she had to make a decision.

If she told Gray, he would agree without a second thought. He would do it in a heartbeat to save Juvia. But Juvia would be miserable for the rest of her life. A life without the one you loved enough to die for wasn't life at all – it was torture, plain and simple.

But if she didn't tell Gray – if she let Juvia die – he would never forgive himself. Life would fall apart under his fingertips, and Levy couldn't watch that anymore than she could watch Juvia wander through life like a ghost who had forgotten why she held on to the material world.

Which left one solution.

Levy stood up, brushing invisible dust off her skirt. "Juvia," she said. "I'm going to save you. I'll find another way." She walked back to where she had dropped her book on the floor and hefted it into her arms. "All you have to do is believe in me."

She'd be the luckiest being to ever exist if that were really true.

 **Well, here's hoping it was worth the wait (I seriously doubt it). Please take into consideration the fact that I'm giving up valuable sleep time to post this. You** **'re welcome.**

 **Next post will be someday. If you beg me really hard and review lots and lots, it might be soon. Probably. Wow, how does this song always make me want to cry my eyes out? Seriously, like what? No. Stop that.**

 **Okay. Anywho. Seeya.**


	17. The Way It Always Was (Not)

**I don't even want to think about how long it's been. Let's say a while. It's been a while, beloved readers. I was kind of losing interest in this project, but I got this great idea that got me back into it. There will be some time-skipping back and forth, so I'll try to be as clear about that as possible so no one gets confused. If you do have a question, leave it in the reviews and I'll get back to you.**

 **Anyway, enjoy the chapter! And thank you so much to everyone who's stuck with my temperamental update schedule. Your reviews, favorites and follows mean a lot to me.**

* * *

 _It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone. -John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent_

* * *

After Levy left, Juvia sat in the silence of Porlyusica's small house and cried.

She didn't want to let them go.

But there was no choice. There was nothing left that she could do but help them forget.

The door opened, and Porlyusica stepped inside, carrying a brown paper bag. Juvia wiped her eyes and gave her a watery smile. "Porlyusica-san, can Juvia ask you for one last favor?"

Porlyusica eyed her suspiciously for a long moment before turning away. "What?" she snapped, but her voice had lost some of its edge.

"There's something Juvia wants to make, but she needs your help. Please."

Porlyusica swung back around to face her, arms crossed. "What is it?" Juvia's chin tipped toward the mattress, casting a muted shadow across her legs.

"A way to forget."

* * *

A WEEK LATER

Gray slouched into the guild hall, yawning so wide his throat creaked and his eyes watered. Erza stared down at his tonsils. "Morning, Gray," she said. "Ready for our job?"

Gray nodded. "What was it again? Some rampaging monster in Crocus?"

"Yeah," Lucy said, coming up behind him. "Thank Mavis it pays well. My rent's about to be late." Just then, the guild doors slammed open to reveal a cackling Natsu and an equally gleeful Happy.

"Morning, everyone!" Natsu bellowed, jogging up to his team, Happy close behind. "Ready to go kick some monster ass?"

Gray rolled his eyes and massaged his temple. Dealing with Natsu's energy so early in the morning was giving him a headache.

Erza surveyed the company and smiled. "Alright, everyone's here. Let's head out."

Gray yawned again. But as he turned to go, a flash of pain cracked through his skull. He staggered, reaching out blindly to steady himself on the wall. He caught Natsu's shoulder instead, nearly pushing them both over.

"Hey!"

"Gray!"

"You okay?"

His friends voices were foggy and distant as Gray pressed the heel of his hand into his forehead. His teeth clenched against another bolt of pain. It felt like his head was splitting in two. A groan squeezed between his teeth, and he bent over, fighting his breakfast. Someone shouted his name again, next his ear. For a fraction of a second, the pain abated. Gray tried to look at the girl who had spoken and realized his eyes were closed. But when he opened them, the world spun and warped, and the girl with the worried dark eyes vanished behind a curtain of black.

* * *

Gray awoke inside a tree.

Sunlight streamed through the small window cut into the trunk and onto the crisp white sheets spread over his legs. The next thing he became aware of was the dull ache wrapped around his skull.

"So you woke up," a disdainful female voice said from somewhere on his left. "I thought you might not. Really, that stupid child should have warned me about these side effects." Gray turned his head gingerly to survey Porlyusica, red eyes irritable. Her mouth pinched even tighter as their eyes met. "If you're better, get up. I have other things to do, boy."

Gray slid his legs carefully out of the bed, testing his weight before standing. He was a little dizzy, and his head still hurt, but it was nothing like the hellish cracking feeling or swirling nausea of earlier. He turned toward the door, and then remembered that he was probably sick with something. "Hey, old woman. What's the matter with me? Do I have the flu or something?"

Porlyusica didn't even glance over her shoulder from where she stood sorting herbs into lumpy green piles. She stripped the leaves from a vine with sharp, efficient snaps. "Same thing he has," she said, just as the door swung open to reveal Natsu and Erza half-carrying, half-dragging an unconscious Gajeel. His head hung limp, and his face was an eloquent shade of green. Levy hovered behind them, worry turning her cheeks pale. "Is he going to be okay?" she demanded. "What's wrong with him?"

Porlyusica strode toward the odd procession, brushing bits of plant from her hands. "Put him on the bed and then get out," she commanded, reaching for an odd glass bottle on the end of her worktable. It bubbled and curved in abnormal places, going concave where it should have pushed outward, and the swirling liquid inside was a peculiar shade of mauve. "Open his mouth," she snapped at Levy, who had bravely remained. Trembling, Levy grasped Gajeel's jaw and pried it open.

"…ia…" he breathed, his face contorting. Porlyusica's scowl deepened. Levy bit her lip like she was trying not to cry, but she held his mouth open as Porlyusica poured a mouthful of the weird mauve potion into his mouth and pinched his nose shut. Gajeel swallowed, coughed, and shot bolt upright. Levy squeaked and tumbled backwards, right into Gray. He landed hard on his tailbone and groaned. The fall had jostled his head, and it felt like his brain was trying to splatter itself on the inside of his skull. Levy scrambled off him, mumbling rushed apologies.

" _Mavis_ , you old bag!" Gajeel snarled at Porlyusica. "What the hell was that nasty shit? It tasted like piss and garbage wrapped in a rotten burrito." Porlyusica rolled her eyes.

"Don't be such a drama queen, you moronic boy. I'm not the one to blame for your condition. And besides, you only had one dose. I gave that one three." She gestured at Gray. He shuddered, thanking Mavis he hadn't woken up in the middle of that process.

"Anyway, you gonna tell me what the hell is wrong with me? Did I get drugged or something?" Gajeel demanded, but Porlyusica was studying Gray with a thoughtful expression.

"Interesting," she murmured. "Yes, I understand it now. Fullbuster, what were you doing when you got the headache?"

Gray frowned. "I was about to leave the guild on a job. And then–" Pain sparked in his skull and he stopped. Porlyusica nodded.

"Don't push it. And you, metal head?"

Gajeel's lip curled in a silent snarl, but he acquiesced. "I was sitting at my usual table when I just thought there was something missing. It was like–" His frown became a grimace, but he kept talking through clenched teeth. "It was like…there should have been someone there…who wasn't." His face was ashen by the time he finished, panting. Gray's head throbbed in sympathy.

"So? What's wrong with us, old woman?" he asked Porlyusica, just to take his mind off the look on Gajeel's face. Like he knew something, something about why they were like this.

"It's a curse," Porlyusica said easily, setting the glass bottle back in its place. "You'll probably be like this for the rest of your lives. Don't expect me to be able to do anything about it, because it's not my doing. She only told me the basic recipe," she muttered then, more to herself than to anyone else in the room. "Stupid girl wouldn't even let me see the spells she did. So determined not to let me come up with a remedy. Damned stubborn child."

"What girl?" Gray demanded, suddenly seeing those sad dark eyes again. "Who are you talking about?"

Porlyusica stared at him, and Gray could've sworn it was sorrow lurking in the crimson depths. "I suppose you _are_ happier like this than if you knew," she sighed. "But she should have warned me, all the same."

"Porlyusica-san, what is that?" Levy whispered. She was staring, horror in her wide eyes, at something on Porlyusica's worktable. The old woman glanced at it.

"The book? Something that–" She shook her head. "Just something someone left here. I've been meaning to throw it out – it's a waste of space." She reached to pick it up, but Levy lunged for it, sending freshly plucked leaves and stripped stems flying. The younger mage clutched the paperback so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"This book – I know this book," she mumbled. "I've wanted a copy since it came out last year." Porlyusica looked strangely anxious.

"It's just a trashy romance novel," she snapped. "Leave it and help your boyfriend get up before he falls on his face trying to play the tough guy." Levy turned a dark shade of scarlet from the roots of her hair to the collar of her dress, but she set the book down and rushed to wedge her tiny body under Gajeel's arm and keep him upright. Gray watched Porlyusica as she grabbed the novel and made a hand motion. In the next instant, the worn book disappeared.

Gray frowned. What was the point of getting rid of it? Why couldn't she let Levy have it? Instead of asking that, he said, "What did you mean when you said we're cursed?"

Porlyusica looked at him, still sitting on the ground where he fell after Levy slammed into him. "Has it occurred to you that what Redfox said is true? That there's something missing here?"

The ache in Gray's head thickened into a sledgehammer. "No," he managed to get out. "There isn't anything missing." Pain lanced through his head, and that same pair of dark eyes stared at him from behind his own. Slowly, the world went black, until all he could see were those dark, sad eyes. "What _is_ this?" Gray choked. "What the hell is going on?"

 _Gray-sama?_

Gray stared at the eyes. They stared back, and the misery in them made him sick with sorrow. _Who are you?_

A familiar, warm feeling embraced his body. Gray thought he might be floating.

 _Gray-sama? It's okay to forget now._

 _Juvia just wants you to forget._

The potion really did taste just like Gajeel had described – like 'piss and garbage wrapped in a rotten burrito', with maybe a few chunks of one of Elfman's old socks mixed in for a little added flavor. Gray's stomach churned, and he coughed. He was breathing hard, but whether from the dream or Porlyusica's science experiment gone wrong, he didn't know.

"Awake?" Porlyusica asked, but Gray wasn't paying attention. He was grasping for the words the girl with the dark eyes had said.

"Gray?" Levy said, her voice soft with concern. Gray looked past her to Gajeel, who stared back with dark understanding in his eyes.

"Juvia," Gray panted. "Her name was Juvia."

 **The drama... Fun times. It gets better, don't worry. For some reason, I'm really interested in interactions between Gray and Gajeel, since they're the two most important guys in Juvia's life (in canon, at least) and yet they never talk or fight or really have any connections at all. So I'm thinking these two will probably team up for my own selfish purposes... That'll be fun. Writing Gajeel is great, because he swears and growls and grumbles and makes scary faces.**

 **So I hope to get reviews from all of you (a girl can dream, can't she?)! Favorites and follows are also greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!**


	18. Forgotten, Not Gone (Yet)

**Huffah for long chapters! This baby has been in the works for a while, and I have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of myself. For all the readers who have left comments asking for updates, your pleas have been answered! Hopefully, this chapter lasts you for a while, though, because next chapter will probably take a while. There's a lot of choices I have to make and figure out to deal with, so you'll have to be patient with me.**

 **Funny story: this chapter was done, like, three days ago? Four? Right. Anyway, you get the point. I'm a lazy creature. Procrastinators unite tomorrow and all that. Heh. Heh. Sorry.**

 **Final note before I tell you to review because it brings me joy: I have received a very special gift from one of my many dear readers, CatPlanet. They wrote a companion piece to _Evaporating_ , and I received permission to post it here. It'll be at the bottom, so make sure to read it after you bawl your eyes out for the ending. And then review, even if it's just to complain that I made you cry – or that I didn't, and this was just false advertising. Either way, write something in that handy little box and hit the button that says something like Review or Post or something. I haven't actually looked at one in forever, so I'm clueless. Favorites and follows are also of course appreciated. Without further ado, enjoy Chapter 18!**

* * *

 _All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was. - Toni Morrison_

 _If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song. - Khalil Gibran_

* * *

Porlyusica cursed, rather fluently for an old woman. "McGarden, get out." When Levy didn't move, she whirled on her. "Now!"

Levy jumped and darted for the door. Porlyusica waited until she was gone to turn back to Gray. "What did you say?" she demanded. He stared at her.

"Who is Juvia? Why am I…dreaming about her?"

"You don't remember?" Porlyusica snapped. "Why are you saying her name if you don't know who she is?"

Gray turned his gaze to his hands. They felt empty. Cold, like he had lost the warmth of someone's skin. "She's the girl with those awful sad eyes. Right?"

"You saw that too?" Gajeel's voice rumbled from beside the bed. Gray nodded. "What the hell was that, man? Why could I only see her eyes?"

"No clue," Gray said slowly. "But she said it to you too, right? That it was okay to forget – that she wanted you to."

"Yeah." Gajeel ran a hand through his tangled mane of hair. "What the fuck is going _on_?" Both of them turned to Porlyusica, who obviously knew exactly what the fuck was going on. She shook her head, her crimson eyes dark and unreadable.

"I don't know. You'll have to figure it out yourselves."

"Just tell us who this Juvia girl is," Gray pleaded. "We need to help her somehow."

"You already tried," Porlyusica muttered under her breath. Then, louder, "There's nothing anyone can do for that girl anymore, except to forget her. Let her go, and live your life like you always have."

"How are we supposed to do that if there's something missing?" Gajeel growled. "We're gonna figure this whole damn thing out, with or without you, old bag."

Gray staggered to his feet, supporting himself on the edge of Porlyusica's worktable until the world wasn't spinning quite as violently. "For now, let's go to the guild. It started there, so maybe we can get something out of that."

They both stumbled for the door, swaying a little dangerously. Porlyusica watched them go, torn between what they had asked of her and the promise she had made. It had only been a week, but the stupid child hadn't told her about the side-effects. Of course, Porlyusica should have known better. Potions of that sort don't simply come without severe consequences. The child had known that when she asked.

 _"A way to forget? Don't tell me… You want to use some sort of Ancient Magic?" Porlyusica demanded. "You're going to use magic to make your guild forget you? Don't be ridiculous, Juvia. Something that would wipe your existence from their minds doesn't exist."_

 _"It does exist," she said softly. "Juvia knows how to make the potion. Please, help Juvia do this for her friends. Juvia can't let them be. Juvia can't leave them behind to hurt like this."_

 _"But this is just foolish! You're going to drug them into forgetting you? What kind of idiotic logic is that?"_

 _"Please," Juvia whispered. "Please, Porlyusica-san. You know as well as Juvia that there's nothing left to do. There is no other solution. Juvia knows you don't want to let them remember if it causes them pain either. Help Juvia protect them – help Juvia protect Fairy Tail."_

 _"What if the effect wears off?" Porlyusica asked, grasping at excuses. The idea made her uneasy. Was it really okay to erase Juvia from the world like that? "What am I supposed to tell them if they come asking about you?"_

 _Juvia shook her head. "It won't wear off. As long as they aren't reminded of Juvia, they will die never knowing Juvia used to exist. They will be happy all their lives."_

 _"You're a fool," Porlyusica muttered, pressing her fingertips against her temples. "A fool who is too kind for her own damn good. What am I supposed to do with a fool like that?" She sighed, closing her eyes."Alright, I'll make the potion for you, fool girl. Give me the recipe and whatever enchantments it needs."_

 _But Juvia shook her head again. "Juvia will do most of it herself. Please just make the base for Juvia." She held up her useless wrist-stumps. "Juvia has no hands to make it herself anymore."_

 _"Fine," Porlyusica snapped, turning away. "Then just hand over the damn recipe and I'll make it."_

 _"Porlyusica-san, will you please promise Juvia something?"_

 _"What is it now?"_

 _"Please, no matter what happens, don't tell anyone from Fairy Tail about Juvia. Please promise Juvia that."_

 _Porlyusica heaved a long sigh before answering. "Yeah, I suppose that's smart. I promise."_

"Wait," Porlyusica commanded as the boys reached the door. "I'll give you something that might help. Just wait there a minute." She turned to her work table and pulled open a drawer, scattering bits of paper – notes, recipes, miscellaneous shopping lists – all over the floor. She dug deeper through the mess inside the drawer, down past the ancient pens and leaf scraps to the false bottom of the drawer. Prying it up, she flicked through the neat stack of papers until she found the note she was looking for.

"Here," she said, bringing over to Gray. "If you have no other leads, use this. But only if you can't get anything out of any of your other ideas. Until, then, don't even look at it." She glowered at him. "Understand?"

Gray nodded. "Right." She turned away, more unsure than ever. "Porlyusica," he called.

"What?" she said, not looking back.

"Just… What did you mean earlier, when you said I already tried to help the girl – Juvia? Did I know her?" Porlyusica didn't answer. Gajeel ground his teeth, clenching his fists.

"Who is she, old bag? Why does this Juvia chick seem so damn important?"

Porlyusica glanced over her shoulder, her crimson eyes brimming with hollow despair. "Juvia…" Gray's heart pounded in his chest. He felt his pulse under every inch of his skin, like a living thing that wanted to burst out and soar away. He was hot. He was cold. His hearing seemed muffled, yet every word Porlyusica spoke next rang in his skull with crystal clarity. "Juvia is nothing – no, she is _everything_ – everything you should leave forgotten. Even if you find her, you will never – ever – bring her back. It would be better if you stopped now, before you tear yourselves to pieces." She let her chin fall, let her head shut the doors firmly on the useless hope in her heart. "It's time you let her be in peace."

"Then why give us this?" Gray asked, brandishing the torn scrap of paper Porlyusica had handed him moments before. "Why help us find her if you don't want us to?"

"Because I'm old, and a fool," Porlyusica snapped, spinning to glare at him. "Because I don't want to believe that stupid child is really gone, even if I saw her go with my very eyes. I know she's gone, and I know there's nothing that you morons can do now except hurt yourselves, but I can't just leave her be." She scowled at the floor. "Really, this is exactly why I hate humans. Go. Get out already. I have things to do." She snatched up her broom and waved it in Gajeel's face. "Get a move on, you lazy bums. I don't want to see you in my house any longer."

"For Mavis' sake, old bag, we're leaving already," Gajeel snarled. He yanked open the door and stomped out into the forest, muttering profanity under his breath.

Gray backed away from Porlyusica, hands in the air. "Sorry, I got it. I'm leaving. But…" He stopped on the threshold and met her eyes, trying to communicate what he didn't have words for. "Thanks." Before Porlyusica could thrust her broom at him again, he shut the door and jogged to meet up with Gajeel.

* * *

Walking through the forest together, silence fell like a wall between them. "So…" Gray said, not sure what they were supposed to talk about. "Should we go straight to the guild?"

"Nah, I want to check up on Levy first," Gajeel said gruffly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "She mighta gotten lost on her way home."

"Sure," Gray agreed. "But doesn't she live in Fairy Hills? How are we gonna get in?"

Gajeel bared his teeth in a grin. "Wait and see, little ice mage."

"Huh?" Gray snarled. "What was that, metal face?"

He heard it then, a sudden, gentle sound.

Gajeel snarled, balling his hands into fists, but Gray froze. "Be quiet," he hissed at Gajeel. "Listen."

The silence stretched on, unbroken, stiller than water on the surface of an undisturbed pond.

"You're losing it, man," Gajeel muttered, scratching his ear. "I mean, I'm in the same boat, but when you start hearing stuff I'm not, I think it's a sign that one of your screws came a little loose."

 _Again._ Long and slow, almost lost amidst the natural forest sounds, someone sighed.

Gajeel frowned. "Okay, I heard that one. What…" The wind whispered through the trees, raising the hair on Gray's arms.

He shook his head. "Your guess is as good as mine. Let's just check in on Levy and get started figuring this shit out." Not waiting for Gajeel to answer, he started off in the direction of Fairy Hills.

* * *

As it turned out, it was relatively easy to scale a tall oak tree just next to Levy's dorm room and slip in through the window. Gray made a mental note to remind Levy to lock her window if she didn't want unwanted visitors popping into her room whenever.

At first, Gray couldn't see anything through the messy, haphazard stacks of books that cluttered the room. Then he heard the sounds of someone muttering to herself in what sounded like gibberish. There was a thump, and a pile of books in the corner of the room shivered. Spiky blue hair appeared above the mound and vanished a moment later.

"You here, Shrimp?" Gajeel called in his usual low rumble, stepping easily between the walls of books of every kind imaginable. Levy squeaked, and a heap of books toppled over. She peered over it, adjusting her red-rimmed glasses.

"Gajeel? Gray? What are you two doing here? You should be resting!" she scolded, climbing unceremoniously over the books and dusting herself off. Studying their serious expressions, she frowned. "Did you need something?"

Gray jabbed his thumb at Gajeel. "Metal eyebrows here wanted to make sure you got home safe."

Gajeel averted his eyes. "Just… It's easy to lose you, since you're so damn tiny."

Levy scowled. "Well, you've successfully ascertained that I'm capable of getting home by myself. You can go now. In case you hadn't noticed, this is the _girl's_ dorm." She turned her back on them with a huff, bending down to begin the process of re-stacking the fallen tower of books. Gajeel stayed where he was, hands in his pockets, surveying her casually. Gray rolled his eyes and went to help her. The first book he picked up was weighty, thick. Flipping through the pages, he noted the odd lettering and tiny text. The thing could easily have been twice the size if the author had written bigger. Something about the book was uncomfortably familiar, like finding an old possession in your closet.

"Hey, Levy, what is this?" he asked, holding out the book to her. "Some kinda spell book? I think I've seen it before somewhere."

Levy stared at it. "I… I don't know," she mumbled, reaching for it. "I've never seen it before." Gray frowned and handed it over.

"What does that mean? It's yours, isn't it?" She wasn't listening, flipping feverishly through pages. Her lips moved silently in a language Gray didn't know.

"Wrong, wrong, all wrong. Damn it!" She slammed the book shut, dropped it on the floor, and ran past them both to a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf against the far wall. As she started pushing aside books, tossing them into precarious towers of books and sending the whole mess crashing to the floor, Gajeel reached for the mysterious tome she had dropped. "Don't touch it!" Levy snapped, almost hysterically. "Don't touch anything until I figure this out. Just stand there and...don't touch."

"Just tell us what the fuck is going on!" Gajeel snapped back. "Why are your panties in a bunch all of a sudden?"

"My panties are not in a bunch!" Levy shrieked, chucking a particularly thick book at Gajeel's head. He ducked, and it went sailing through the open window. " _Agh_!"

"Levy," Gray said, doing his best to stay calm in the face of Levy's unusual frenzy, "What's the matter? Just take a second to calm down and explain it to us."

She ignored him, pulling a short, fat book from where it was wedged in the back of the shelf. "Found it!" she crowed. The pages were a fuzzy blur as she flipped through them, sending dust into the air. Gajeel sneezed. Levy finally stopped on a page and turned to face them, her cheeks flushed. "Okay, so here's the thing. Remember Porlyusica saying you were cursed?"

"Yeah, but–" Gray's interruption withered and died under Levy's displeased glower.

"Well, she wasn't exactly lying. Except what's wrong with all of us isn't a curse, it's a spell of sorts. Or, to be specific, a potion." Levy looked pleased with herself. "Actually, it's a very complex process involving a lot of preparation and–"

"Get on with it," Gajeel interrupted impatiently. "What did that old bag do to us? I'll beat the shit out of her until she fixes it, even if she is just an old hag."

Levy sighed. "It wasn't Porlyusica, Gajeel. It was whoever we all forgot about."

"Juvia," Gray blurted. "It was Juvia."

Levy nodded. "There's something about her name… She was important to us, once. I don't know where she went or why we had to forget her, but we're going to find out."

Porlyusica's voice, soft and bleak, spoke in Gray's ear. _"Even if you find her, you will never – ever – bring her back. It would be better if you stopped now…"_

 _"…before you tear yourselves to pieces."_

Gajeel was nodding in agreement. "If she was one of us, then there's no way she's getting left behind, whether that's what she wants or not."

Gray thought about that. "One of us… Then she was part of Fairy Tail." He stared at Levy. "Are there any empty rooms in Fairy Hills?"

Levy shrugged. "Sure, there's a room down the hall that's been empty for…ever," she trailed off to a whisper as she understood what Gray meant. "We have to go look."

"What?" Gajeel demanded, still trying to work out Gray's meaning. He followed them out of the room, all three tearing down the hall to the end, where a door waited, a sign reading VACANT hanging from a loose nail in the wood.

Three steps from the door, Levy gasped and clutched her head. Almost in slow motion, she crumpled to the ground. Gray reached her first, but excruciating pain turned his vision into static, and he doubled over in agony.

 _Gray-sama_ , Juvia's gentle voice whispered.

 _No._

 _Gray-sama, it's okay to forget. Please don't do this._

"No," Gray gasped, forcing his feet to move. He lurched forward a step and almost fell next to Levy.

 _Gray-sama._

Another step.

Tears. She was crying for him.

Another step.

 _Please, stop. Please, Gray-sama. Juvia is begging you._

His fingertips brushed the rough wood of the door, the cold smooth metal of the handle.

 _Juvia has already been forgotten by all the others. Please let Juvia go now._

"I can't."

The door opened under Gray's hand, and he half-fell, half-stumbled into a room smelling of dust and sweat and tears.

In the center of the wide bare floor lay a crumpled boy with ice blue hair and staring, blank dark eyes. He didn't see Gray at first, only the girl he had been waiting for until he forgot how to do anything else – eat, sleep, breathe. All that was left was the waiting.

"Ju…via?" he asked, his voice a dry rattle in the base of his throat. Gray stared at him, almost frightened of the gaunt, starved, broken figure before him. "No… It's Gray…" the boy sighed. A tear slipped down over the bridge of his nose to the floor, dragging a wet trail through the grime coating his face like a second skin. "I thought… Juvia would come…back…" He blinked, slowly, and Gray held his breath, afraid the boy's eyes wouldn't open again.

"Who are you?" he asked, dragging himself another step forward into the room. A star burst into a million colored lights behind his eyes, sending meteor chunks in every direction. The world spun. "Who…is Juvia?"

"That's…the wrong question, Gray…" the boy breathed, his thin chest rising with every difficult lungful of air. "You should…be asking _where_ …she is… not _who_ … How could you…of all…people…forget Juvia?"

Gray didn't know why, but somehow those words stabbed through his chest, scraping his heart raw around the edges. "I don't know," he panted, pushing forward another step. He could almost reach out and touch the boy now. "I want to remember." The plaintive whisper came from somewhere deep and old and forgotten inside his chest, somewhere that had been burned down to ashes and leftover longing when he forgot Juvia.

"Gray," Gajeel's voice said, distant and ragged, from the doorway. "Let's get him to Porlyusica. He's starving himself to death."

* * *

It took them a whole hour to drag the half-dead boy out of the empty apartment and through the woods to Porlyusica's tree, all the time fighting through the bone-splintering pain blurring their vision. They had left Levy in her room, curled up asleep on her bed. When they finally got to Porlyusica's, she took one look at them, pulled the boy into her house, and slammed the door in their faces.

The farther they got from Porlyusica's, the less they hurt, until the pain had faded entirely and nothing was left but the heaviness in their limbs. "It must happen when we run into something that reminds us of Juvia," Gray mumbled dully, stumbling next to Gajeel back towards Fairy Tail. Gajeel grunted.

"He knew her. He remembered her, so she must not have drugged him," he muttered, slumping sideways a little.

"I bet Porlyusica knows him."

"Just means the old bag has someone to help her hide whatever it is she wants to hide."

Gray rubbed his eyes. "He didn't seem to want to hide it. Actually…" Gray tried to make his fried brain work. "It seemed like… He didn't know she zapped us with that potion. It was like she let him remember her, because for some reason she didn't want to force him to forget."

Gajeel laid a hand over the left side of his chest and pressed down, like there was an ache there he wanted to suppress. "You think…You think it woulda hurt this much if she hadn't made us forget her before she left? Or would it have been easier, remembering her after she was gone?" He gritted his teeth. "It just fucking hurts, man. I don't even get why."

"You loved her," Gray said tiredly. Gajeel looked at him like he'd just slapped the dark-haired dragon slayer. Gray made the effort of waving his hand in a placating gesture. "Nah, not that kinda love. Not like whatever's going on with you and Levy. But you loved her, like a sister, or maybe a mother, or a friend you'd die for in a second. I think…I did, too. We all must've." Gray tripped clumsily over a root and tried to regain his balance. "Why else would she go so far just to disappear? And why else would this hurt so damn much?"

Gajeel shook his head, slowly. "This is so fucking wrong, I don't even know anymore. I need a nap."

Gray squinted at the grey sky. Thick cumulus clouds were gathering over Magnolia. "Maybe if we sleep long enough, Juvia'll just come back on her own, riding on a unicorn over a sparkling rainbow bridge, bringing presents for all the good little girls and boys."

Gajeel snorted. Gray snorted in agreement, which turned into a chuckle. Gajeel barked a laugh too, and soon they were bent over, laughing so hard tears streamed from their eyes and their wasn't enough time to breathe between fits of laughter, clutching their sides in desperate hysteria.

 _It's okay. Juvia isn't coming back, so…_

 _It's okay to forget now._

Gray shuddered, his fingers tightening against his ribcage. "Goddammit. Why…" He sank to his knees in the dirt, clenching his sides and gritting his teeth to keep the hard ache in his throat at bay. Beside him, Gajeel was lying spreadeagled on the ground, his fingers twitching spasmodically.

"Honestly… You two are so pathetic," a resigned voice remarked drily. "Go home and get some rest."

Gray didn't look up at Porlyusica. He watched her shadow shifting on the ground in front of him instead, too exhausted to do anything but watch as she pulled a tiny sphere from her pocket and tapped it. "Makarov, send a couple of your kids down here. These idiots are losing it a little. I can't carry them home by myself."

* * *

At home, after Elfman had come and lugged him and Gajeel out of the forest, Gray lay in bed, stared at the blank white ceiling, and thought.

 _There's something wrong with this._

No matter what he did, he couldn't get that thought out of his head. Something was missing. There was a piece they didn't have yet, something that would make everything whole again.

Gray closed his eyes, trying to block out the thoughts sending his head spiraling into confusion, and next thing he knew, it was dark.

A different kind of dark – flashes of light erupted in the edge of vision all around him. The creaking of metal, roaring booms of explosions, and shouts of his friends charged the heavy air. Gray blinked. He knew this scene, this place. It was Crocus, in the battle after the Grand Magic Games. But why was he there?

 _She's in danger._

Who?

Someone smiled through the darkness. A flash lit her face, and for the barest second Gray caught a glimpse of bright, deep blue eyes.

Juvia?

 _She's in danger._

The metal dragonoid crept up behind her. He saw it, saw its mouth open, saw the glow deep in its throat.

 _Don't let her die. She can't die. Not here. Not now. Not because of this._

 _Don't let her die._

Juvia was going to die?

Was that what Porlyusica meant? When she said he had already tried to save her?

 _Don't let her die._

Maybe, if he saved her now, when he opened his eyes, she would still be there.

Maybe this was what he had to do to bring Juvia back.

 _Don't let her die!_

No, he couldn't let her die. Not the girl with the desolation in her eyes. Not the girl he had forgotten.

Not the girl who tugged at his memories even when she hadn't wanted so badly to make him forget.

Light imploded in his vision, and burning, infinite agony seared through his skull, through his brain, through his eyes. He thought it would never end.

Someone screamed – no, howled, howled in pure torment. Raw pain a thousand times worse than his own reverberated in her voice. That, more than the unbelievable torture of the laser cutting a hole through his head, broke Gray down into nothing.

And then he woke up, and everything was so much worse.

He could still hear her scream ringing in his ears, on and on and on and on and on, until he thought he'd lose his mind.

"Shut up," he ground out. "Shut up!" He tossed the sheets to the floor, threw himself off the bed and stood, looking wildly around the room. Nothing to break. Nothing to hurt. Nothing to ruin. The sound of a heart being shredded into bloody mist filled his veins, becoming his heartbeat, surging under his skin. "Shut up!"

Ice crackled around his bare feet, frost creeping across the floor. Frozen stalagmites grew from the wooden planks, matching stalactites jutting from the maddeningly white ceiling. Gray's breath caught on the icy air, puffing into white clouds and then dissolving. The world dissolved into ice and the cold numbness of freedom.

The screaming stopped, and Gray blinked.

Someone was crying.

"Juvia?"

The crying stopped.

"Juvia?" Gray repeated, whirling on his heel frantically, trying to find the source. It had been coming from near the window…

 _Juvia is so sorry, Gray-sama._

"Juvia, where are you?" Gray demanded. "Talk to me, please. Where are you?"

 _Juvia… In the end Juvia is just a coward. Juvia thought this would be better, but no one is happier._

"Where are you?" Gray took a step toward the window. "It's okay, Juvia. Let me help you."

 _Juvia is so tired. So, so tired… Juvia has to go soon. You'll be able to let go then, right?_

He couldn't stand how hopeful she sounded. "Don't go, Juvia. I want to help you. I want to save you. You have to come back to us." He was almost to the window. It was colder there. Even through the numbness, Gray felt it.

 _Before Juvia leaves, there's something she always wanted to tell you…_

"Don't go. Just wait a minute!" He reached out frantically, praying he could find anything, anything solid. Anything he could hold onto to keep her there, with him.

 _I love you, Gray._

And then she was gone.

* * *

 **Intense stuff, if I do say so myself. Yup. Did I make anyone cry? Sorry. I really got into this chapter, though. It was** **great.**

 **As promised, here's CatPlanet's companion piece, written specifically for this fic. Can you tell I'm super excited? I'm super excited.**

Water.

Some call it the lifeblood of, well, life.

Everything alive needs water.

Even a certain Fire Dragon Slayer who hates ice and everything related to it.

Some call it the symbol of rehab, healing, rebirth, hope, life.

So it's no wonder Juvia was proud to be a Water wizard.

Even if she was slowly Evaporating, like water does when the cycle continues.

 **Isn't it great? I think it's great. Feel free to leave CatPlanet reviews too. Show your appreciation!**


	19. Knots

**I've kind of given up on apologizing at this point. The truth is that this chapter has been essentially done for weeks. Literally, it has been sitting in my computer for like a month while I studiously ignored it. And I've been meaning to put it up, but I kept forgetting and putting it off and now here we are. I got a couple panicked reviews asking if last chapter was the end while I was not-updating, and I actually did consider just leaving it at that. But I already wrote this chapter and something about leaving that as the end feels wrong, and so chapter 19 has been allowed to exist. I wanted to make this the last chapter, actually, but I just petered out somewhere about 2/3 of the way there, so here's what I have done. I swear on something super important that chapter 20 will be the last chapter. Pinky promise.**

 **Last thing before I stop spouting excuses: One of the reviews I got on chapter 18 made me really annoyed, so I'm gonna call you out right now, "Guest". I believe your exact words were "It's starting to get old and boring." That was the entire review. And I absolutely appreciate honesty and constructive criticism, but there's a point where honesty is deliberately phrased in way that pisses off the person you're talking to, and you are seriously toeing the line. So the immature, petty child in me has an honest message for you, if you even read this (since God knows no one wants to read something they think is boring): You're rude. And I don't like you. Yes, I realize the chapters get repetitive and something like 1 out of 3 chapters does absolutely nothing to advance the plot, but actually spending any time at all to leave me a completely unhelpful and critical review just proves that you're one of those internet people that no one likes. Take ten seconds to Google the phrase "constructive criticism" and come back when your brain has processed and fully understood the concept. You're obviously not a writer, because if you were you would understand that people post on this site and any other with the understanding that their readers will treat their writing with the respect all writing deserves. If you don't like it, don't read it, and don't fucking bother to leave rude comments. Work out your issues somewhere else. I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself because leaving nasty reviews makes you feel powerful. In conclusion, screw you.**

 **I feel better now. Sorry to all the people who read that and were offended (except for you, Guest). I'm not a very chill person when it comes to people insulting my writing without regarding common courtesy. Normally, I'm less angry. Aaaaaaaaaanyway, I'm done. Enjoy chapter 19!**

* * *

 _When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on. - Franklin D. Roosevelt_

 _We do not remember days, we remember moments. - Cesare Pavese_

* * *

 _It was dark, the kind of inky black that swallowed you down deep and suffocated you slowly. Her hands floated before her eyes, luminously white in the absolute black surrounding her, thin and fragile and wrong. She tried to speak, but the darkness surged into her mouth and swirled down her throat, staining her lungs and turning the world foggy._

 _Help_ , she tried to scream, panic filling her lungs. Help me, Gray-sama.

 _Who is that?_

 _An impossibly vast exhaustion soaked through her bones, sinking into her chest and carving a tired hollow inside her. Her ears began ringing, or maybe they had been ringing all along and she'd only just noticed. She was starting to lose track of time. Had she been there a minute, an hour, a day? The blackness stretched on forever, inviting her to simply let go. Stay there until she forgot her own existence, floating aimlessly, thoughtlessly, in the open sea of nothing._

Juvia.

 _Stay_ , the nothing whispered. _Stay and join us. Become one with the emptiness, the abandoned shadows. You are not the first. You are not the last._

Juvia, please.

 _You're already forgetting, aren't you? Your name, your life, your world. The people you loved, the things you've done. The faces of the ones you've killed._

Juvia, it's okay. Let me help you.

 _Gray-sama?_

 _Forget_ , the shadows hissed. _Forget it don't need it anymore._

Juvia shook her head. _I have something left to do._

 _Nothing from that life matters anymore. Let it all go._

 _I have to leave_ , Juvia insisted. _I have to go before it's too late. I can't stay here._

She twisted and turned in the empty blank space, searching for a way out, anything to bring her back to the surface. It was like moving through a lake of cold butter without anything to propel her, but she kicked out with legs she hadn't known she had. For the barest second, the darkness split open like the ripple of curtains pulling apart in a breeze. The gap was gone as soon as it appeared, but it had been there. She kicked again, pushed forward into the unknown, searching for something she couldn't identify.

 _Let_ _me_ _out_.

Stay.

 _No_.

She struggled forward another inch, but for all she knew, she was moving farther away from the way out. There was no way to distinguish one course from another except for her own sense of direction. Juvia closed her eyes. The black remained unchanged.

 _I'm_ _going_ _to_ _leave_ _now_ , she said soundlessly, not resisting the tendrils of shadow that twisted down her throat. As it sank into her flesh, she began to understand. Eyes still closed, she reached out and stretched her fingers until they brushed something foreignly solid in all the nothing. She stepped forward, somehow moving smoothly through the murk, and wrapped her hand around the knob. Taking a deep breath, she twisted the handle and pushed the door open.

The space behind her eyes exploded with light, and then she was falling into nothing.

* * *

Levy woke up with a start on her bed. Her tongue was dry and it stuck stubbornly to the roof of mouth. Once she had peeled it off, she licked her lips, trying to refresh her brain. There was a dull ache in the back of her skull, remnants from the strange flash of agony just as she was about to reach the vacant apartment – Juvia's apartment.

Gajeel. Gray. What had happened to them?

Levy darted out of bed and tripped over a book, landing on her elbows on the hard wood floor. She groaned, rubbing the already-forming bruises. The book had slid when she stubbed her toes on it, and now it sat in front of her, dark and ominous. It was one of the bigger, older tomes in her expansive collection, one she didn't recognize. But that was wrong. Levy knew every book, every page, every word in her room. There was no way she didn't know this book.

 _Oh_.

She reached for it hesitantly, letting the leather brush her fingertips before committing to lifting it and opening it. The book opened to a page where someone had inserted a sheet of loose paper, covered in her own neat handwriting. Comparing the sheet and the page underneath it, Levy's eyes widened. She had translated this, before she lost her memory. She had understood what this meant for… For Juvia, she assumed, since she couldn't remember who it was.

The ache in her head deepened into a steady pounding.

 _I_ _can't_ _tell_ _them_. _I_ _can't_ _ask_ _them_. _I_ _can't_. _I'm_ _sorry_ , _Juvia_.

What?

Levy looked at the paper again, read the first paragraph, studied the image she had copied from the original page.

 _"Levy_ , _Juvia_ _would_ _never_ _want_ _that_. _"_

Were these…her memories? Of Juvia?

"What was happening to you, Juvia?" Levy whispered to herself, reading farther into the explanation. "Why would you need someone to perform this ceremony for you?"

"Shrimp."

Even without looking up, Levy knew that voice. She stood and hopped and danced her way over her books to the open window. "Gajeel, what happened? Is Gray okay? What–"

His hand covered her mouth as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him, still balanced on the windowsill. "It's all fine, Shrimp, just shut it for a second." Levy could feel her cheeks burning, pressed against Gajeel's chest. His breathing, slow and steady, echoed in her ears, and his heartbeat matched hers, pulsing beneath corded muscle.

"Gajeel–" she gasped, peeling off his hand from her mouth.

"Shut up," he growled. "Let me think."

"Don't pop a blood vessel," Levy muttered under her breath, squirming in his grip. His fingers only tightened around her wrist. "Gajeel, let me go," she said, louder this time. "You don't need me to be right next to you if you're just thinking." He startled her by pushing off from the windowsill and landing lightly on the floor. "Gajeel!" He just smirked at her, flashing the sharp edge of a canine. Levy scowled. "Let go already," she demanded as she twisted away from him, not noticing him put his mouth up against her ear. And then he blew.

Levy shrieked and kicked backwards automatically. Her heel connected with something solid – his shin? – and his fingers fell away from her wrist, the momentum sending her tumbling to the floor for the second time that morning. This time she landed on the heels of her hands. "That hurt," she complained, frowning up at Gajeel. He scowled back.

"What was that for?" he grumbled, rubbing his shin. Levy scrambled to her feet.

"For blowing on my ear like that!" she snapped, tugging her hair down around her face like a protective shield. "Why would you do that?"

Gajeel shrugged. "Don't we have bigger shit to deal with?"

"That's right," Levy gasped, spinning around and running back to there bed, where the mystery book lay forgotten. "I found this book I don't recognize with my other stuff earlier. I think it has something to do with Juvia." Gajeel came over and squatted next to her on the floor, peering at the yellowed pages.

"How do you know it has to do with Juvia? Couldn't it just be an old book you forgot about?" he wanted to know. Levy rolled her eyes dismissively.

"I know every single book in my collection, Gajeel. I don't just forget books once I've taken them in. And anyway, I had some sort of…vision, about Juvia, when I was flipping through this one." Gajeel frowned.

"What kinda vision? Like you saw her or something?"

Levy shook her head, staring down at a smudge of ink on the bottom corner of the page. She rubbed at it absent-mindedly as she said, "More like… I heard her. Talking. And I- I was talking too. I think it was a memory. From before."

Gajeel leaned forward intently. "What were you saying?"

Levy closed her eyes. As she tried to remember, a dull ache blossomed in her temples. "I said something about… I couldn't do something. I couldn't ask 'them'. And I was sorry – I said her name, and that I was sorry. And she said–" She stopped to take a breath, trying to think through the increasing pain bouncing off her skull. "She said she would…never…want that," she finished weakly. "And that was it."

"So what does that mean?" Gajeel mused, wrinkling his nose. "What couldn't you do? Who didn't you ask?"

"I knew something that could save her," Levy explained. She pulled out the clean sheet of paper she had translated a page of the book onto and thrust it at Gajeel. "Read this."

Gajeel pushed her hand away, his lip curling in distaste. "Just tell me what it says, shrimp." Levy sighed and set the sheet down.

"This is a book of occult rituals, Gajeel. And this particular ritual–" she tapped a fingernail on the correct page in the book– "is a rejuvenation ceremony. It was used to refresh the land in times of drought and poor harvests. The tribe that practiced this ritual believed that the rain was the source of all life, and if it didn't rain daily, the world would shrivel and crumble into dust. So every day, they summoned the rain. It's said that their tribal leader, Rennar, called the rain from their sacred shrine every morning at dawn. But according to this book, that's not what happened."

"Get to the point," Gajeel grumbled impatiently. "What does that have to do with Juvia?"

Levy scowled at him. "I'm getting there, calm down. According to the book, instead of doing a simple daily ritual, Rennar performed an enormous spell to make it rain every day – permanently. No matter what, it would rain every day for the rest of time."

Gajeel glanced out the window. "It's not raining."

"Obviously. Someone disrupted the spell."

Clearly bored, Gajeel chewed on his lip. "Who?"

"I don't know," Levy snapped in exasperation. "But that's not what matters." She waved the translation in Gajeel's face again. "What matters is the spell itself. See, if Rennar had just performed a daily spell to call rain, it wouldn't have had any bad side effects. But this spell actually alters natural weather patterns, rather than summoning a few water-saturated clouds. And for a big spell like this you need–"

"Sacrifices." Gajeel was paying attention now, staring at the translation like it held the answers to life's mysteries. "They sacrificed people for this shit?"

"They were fanatics – more like a cult than a tribe, really. Every year, they had to sacrifice a member of the tribe in order to maintain the spell." Levy paused. "But then they stopped."

"Maybe they ran out of people to sacrifice," Gajeel suggested. Levy shook her head.

"That's not right. There were descendants. Like Juvia. Maybe–"

"Juvia's ancestors are those nutbags? Are you shitting me?" Gajeel growled.

"No, I'm not. This spell Rennar used had more than one consequence. If it was ever cut off, then the mage who cast it and their descendants were cursed. Their magic, the most invaluable piece of them, would be what killed them."

"I don't get it," Gajeel said, scowling. Levy rolled her eyes.

"They were all doomed to evaporate, Gajeel. Rennar was a water mage. His body was made of water, and he passed that magic down through a dominant gene to his descendants. I'm saying that Juvia was cursed. That's why she died – and how. And that's exactly why no one could save her."

 _I_ _could_ _have_ , Levy's guilt whispered. _I_ _could_ _have_ _saved_ _her_ , _if_ _I_ _was_ _brave_ _enough_.

"Wait, wait, wait. How do you even know that?" Gajeel demanded, taking Levy's translation from her hands and scanning it like he was searching for clues. "Does it say somewhere on here, 'Juvia was a descendant of What's-his-face'? 'Cause I don't see it, Shrimp."

"Of course it doesn't say that, Gajeel," Levy snapped, irritated. "It's just logic. Look, I'll walk you through it. I must have translated this before Juvia died, and before we all were cursed and forgot her, right?" She raised her eyebrows insistently at him.

"Right," he admitted grudgingly. "So?"

"So, if I forgot about it, it must have applied to her somehow. Yes? Yes. We have to also consider that she did die somehow. We don't know how, but this holds the spell that could have saved her."

"How the fuck do you know that?" Gajeel demanded, staring at the translation again.

"The memories, remember?" Levy traced a fingertip across the page of the unfamiliar book. A shiver ran down her spine. "I said I was sorry for not saving her. Why would I have that specific memory if it wasn't related to this spell? There are two versions of the same rejuvenation spell on that page, Gajeel. Rennar modified the one on the bottom. That one is an immensely powerful rain spell that is effective for one-time use." He shook his head, still not understanding. Eyes sliding shut, Levy rubbed her temples. A migraine was building behind her eyes. "A spell like that would be used to refresh a dried-up body of water, a shrinking ocean. So if Juvia's body was made of water…"

"This spell would have brought her back," Gajeel said slowly. "She would have been fine again. But it says…" He squinted, just to make sure. "It still needed a sacrifice?"

Levy peeled her eyes open again. The room was spinning a little. She thought she might vomit if she couldn't lie down soon. "Just one, but not to kill. It was written so that it would slowly drain away the life of the sacrifice over years and years, never quite killing them, but that kind of magic hurts like a demon. You'd never stay sane if you didn't take–take heavy drugs– Mavis, that hurts." Levy slumped sideways onto the floor, letting the cool wood suck the fire out of her skull. "Gajeel, I think I'm dying. It hurts," she whimpered.

"I feel it too, Shrimp," he ground out from somewhere above her. "It's the goddamn curse Juvia put on us. This spell is triggering something it doesn't want us to remember."

"Then… Juvia must have been saved– She must've been saved before," Levy gasped through the pain. This was worse than fire. Someone was splitting her skull open from the inside with an axe. "And we must've…known the sacrifice. Met them somewhere."

Dimly she heard " _stop_ _talking_ " and then the floor fell away. She was moving forward, dipping and hiccuping through the air, supported by something sort of soft and also sort of hard.

"Gajeel?"

"Quiet."

"We need to talk to Gray."

"Yeah."

"We should bring the book."

"Already got it."

She was still moving. She wondered absently if Gajeel was floating somewhere above her – that was where his voice seemed to be coming from.

"Gajeel?"

"What."

"We're going to find out about Juvia, right?"

"We're going to _save_ her, Shrimp."

* * *

She fell for days, or maybe years. She fell until she couldn't remember the feeling of standing still on solid ground, and she just kept falling. She had opened her eyes long ago, but there was nothing to see but endless white. She closed them again, deciding the black was easier to stare at for hours on end.

And then she stopped. Simply hung suspended in air, as if she had gotten caught on something and couldn't get down. Slowly, she peeled open her eyes. The empty white was gone, replaced with four ivory walls and a simple wood-paneled floor. "Hello?" she whispered. "Where is this?"

A noise from the corner of the room, where a bed was pushed up against the wall, made her jump. And then she realized she was hovering three or four inches off the floor, and she was about as opaque as a dirty window.

The noise came again, distracting her from her horrified confusion. It was somewhere between a groan and a cough, and it was coming from the mound of blankets tangled into a ball on the bed. "Hello?" Juvia ventured again. "Is someone there? Can you hear me?"

"Goddammit!" the blankets bellowed, flying off the bed to reveal a painfully handsome dark-haired young man…wearing nothing but a pair of navy boxers.

Gray.

Juvia stared at him, and for a moment she would've sworn he saw her. Their eyes met, but then those bottomless dark irises continued on in a sweep of the room.

"Gray-sama?"

He froze. "Juvia? Is that you? Where are you?"

It was his voice, the voice that had called her back through the blackness, the voice she had dreamed of since they first met. Juvia opened her mouth, but the words all piled up and stuck in her throat. What was she going to say to him, the person she had left behind?

"Juvia, if you're here, I'm begging you. Say something. Anything. Just give me something to work with." He was standing in the center of the small room now, fists clenching and unclenching as he searched for her. He really couldn't see her, Juvia realized miserably. She was just a phantom.

She shook her head, fighting tears that welled at the corners of her eyes. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, desperately keeping herself from making a noise. He couldn't hear her, even it killed her. Again.

"Juvia, please. It's okay. Just let me help you. I want to bring you back."

He didn't understand. Of course he didn't understand. She had never explained it to him, after all. She hadn't told him or anyone else. They wouldn't have forgotten her without a fight, and Juvia doubted she could have won that fight.

Someone slammed their fist against the door. "Gray, open up. Gray!" He stood, silent, frozen in the center of the room. "Gray, it's important! I figured out something about Juvia!" That was Levy's voice, Juvia realized dimly. Levy was at the door. Everything was so fuzzy, but chunks of her life were filling back in one by one.

"Streak freak, open the goddamn door before I kick it open," a gravelly voice rumbled. "Mavis, I don't have time for this shit. Fullbuster!" Gajeel. Juvia choked back a sob. Gajeel was just outside the door. Her oldest friend, her closest comrade. The one who had her back no matter what. He was just a door's width from being in the same room as she was.

And he wouldn't be able to see her.

Maybe he wouldn't even hear her voice the way Gray did. Maybe he would look straight through her and–

"Have you had enough, Ms. Loxar?" a smooth, cultured voice inquired over her shoulder. Juvia jumped a foot higher into the air.

"Who–"

"You don't remember me, I see," he continued sadly as if she hadn't spoken. A cool hand on her shoulder kept her from turning around. "It's rather to be expected. You were only a very young child at the time. And I imagine it's not something you'd really want to remember. Near-death experiences can be traumatic, especially for infants."

"How– You can really see me?" Juvia asked, spinning to face the owner of the voice the moment the hand's pressure let up. But there was nothing looking back, only ivory paint and disappointment.

"Of course I can. How could I touch you and speak to you if I didn't know where you were?" the man's voice said, still behind her. "Come now, there's no time to waste. You do want to regain your body, don't you?"

Juvia nodded emphatically, so hard she thought her neck might just snap off. "I do. Please."

"Then, after you," the voice said gently, nudging her forward. The air rippled like fabric in the wind and then pulled apart, leaving an empty space in the air itself. Juvia watched, mesmerized, as the hole filled with water until it was a vertical pool hovering inches from her nose. "Step right in, my dear. You'll go straight through," the voice assured her. "Don't be nervous."

Juvia wasn't afraid. Water was as familiar as her own skin. Even strange, hovering water didn't make her nervous. But...

She cast one more look back, searching for Gray's muscular frame, but he had left when she wasn't paying attention, and now it was only her and the voice and the strange liquid door. _For the future_ , she thought to herself, and stepped through.

The world went black and there was the familiar sensation of merging with the water, leaving her physical limits behind, and then she was floating through a world made of water. A gentle current carried her farther and farther away from the door that was already indistinguishable from the rest of the liquid surrounding her. _Hello?_ she said, not with her voice, but sending a simple thought through the currents, searching for a response.

"Welcome, Juvia," the voice said. "Do you recognize this place?"

 _No_ , Juvia thought, but that wasn't really true. As she scanned her surroundings, the world came suddenly back into focus, and she noticed things that triggered waves of sad longing through her – a school of mysterious ethereal fish too beautiful to be something from Earthland, the silhouette of a man glowing with otherworldly light out of the corner of her eye, the lonely echo of a mournful wail in the distance. Where is this? Where are we?

"Welcome, my dear," the voice murmured. "This is the place that saved your life; this is the place you will return to one day. When it is time, but not now. Now you are here to heal."

 _I don't understand._

"Oh, you will, one day. For now, follow me." Before Juvia could ask how she was supposed to follow something she couldn't see, a thin trail of green light lit up the water, leading up and to the left, deeper into this world Juvia knew and didn't know.

Juvia followed the path until the glow dimmed and then disappeared altogether, leaving her drowning alone in a sea of darkness. She waited, and waited, and waited, reminding herself that the water felt much different from the thick sticky substance of the dark world she had come from.

"Juvia."

She turned, searching for the source of the new voice, wishing for anything she could see. She was tired of the emptiness everywhere she looked. As her eyes adjusted, she could barely make out the delicately curved figure of a woman floating towards her.

 _Hello?_

"So you are Juvia," the woman said, looking carefully at her through the semi-gloom. "We have waited many years. Welcome home."

 **Next chapter is last chapter, I swear. Seriously. It might take a while, but when chapter 20 is done, Evaporating will be done too. Remember to leave a review. Love you all!**


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